Where are you going, autumn wind?

“…The autumn breeze has arrived/ The purple twilight blankets the sidewalk/ And the wind kisses my sworn hair/ Then autumn flies away/ In the golden sunlight of this afternoon…” (Looking at the passing autumns - Trinh Cong Son).

Autumn has arrived, bringing with it the gentle breeze. A light wind, a slight chill, a touch of dryness and wilting, mingled in the air of an early morning. This year, autumn brought storms. "...Heaven says, heaven sends a flood every year..." (from the song "Hội trùng dương - Part II" by Phạm Đình Chương).

Autumn, what a beautiful season! I cherish the golden leaves still clinging to the branches, unwilling to fall, and hidden among the golden leaves are the scattered young shoots, only to silently fall again the following autumn, or many autumns to come…

Many poems, songs, essays, and paintings celebrate autumn, but tragically, it is also the season of the gentle, melancholic wind – a wind that symbolizes old age – which one day will not fall like leaves, but… collapse! Thinking about old age, I look with tears in my eyes at the rustling leaves; it seems they still regret a time of vibrant greenness, defying sun, rain, and storms, day after day passing by indifferently. But oh leaves, one day you will fall, and I feel a pang of pain when I hear the sound of your fall!

The autumn wind has arrived! Though we didn't expect it, it came. Is this good news or bad news for those experiencing the twilight of their lives? Sometimes, I wonder, what does it matter when you're old?

According to musician Y Vân, the saying "sixty years of life" seems no longer true in the 21st century. With modern medical advancements, "sixty years of life" still looks very young compared to the 21st century! Many elderly people are indifferent to the arrival of the autumn wind each year, "acting like young calves," but one day they suddenly realize they are no longer young and are startled by the autumn wind! And now, when they reach the "age of the autumn wind," people hastily practice marching in place, practicing stamping their feet in place. The elderly seek elixirs of immortality, waiting for the command: one, two... one, two... stop... stop! And then they disperse... trying! But at this point, what's the point of trying anymore? If there is any effort, it's only "trying" and rarely "sticking" anymore!!!

Every morning, I wake up and go for a walk, seeing five or seven couples in designer clothes and shoes... going to the gym very energetically. The first month, they were all there. The second month, only one couple was left, the third month, about two. I asked Uncle Two and Aunt Three where they were, since I didn't see them going to the gym anymore? They "went to a very far place"! That means... they've dropped out!

Every year, the autumn winds return… For those reaching the age of autumn, if they have a happy and peaceful family, there's nothing to say. Conversely, there are many (even in developed countries like England, France, and the United States…) who are unfortunate, homeless, hungry, and cold… treated cruelly by their children and relatives – a situation often described as “lonely.” I think they may be “lonely,” but they are not “anchored,” because they have no shore to anchor to. Where will the autumn winds go?

Every year, when the autumn winds arrive, I usually check my "equipment," probably needing some "workarounds" or "engine overhaul" because there's a rattling sound, and it won't accelerate even when I've fully revved the engine!

I'm from La Gi, but I'm writing this from Saigon. Suddenly, I remembered the cool, breezy seasons in Binh Tuy. An autumn with light rain, sometimes with just a brief burst of sunshine, giving the feeling of a peaceful countryside. During those breezy seasons, I remember years ago, walking alone on the sandy beach of La Gi, looking out at Hon Ba, gazing at the distant Ke Ga lighthouse, seeing the sky and water shrouded in a light mist, giving me a feeling of loneliness and desolation that was deeply moving!

This morning, a flock of sparrows swooped down into the neighbor's yard, waiting for the grains of rice from our kind neighbor. Watching the sparrows innocently eat the rice, I felt so sorry for them. Their lives are also subject to birth, aging, sickness, and death, and I wonder if any of them have reached the age of "the autumn winds" yet?

There's so much poetry, music, and literature written about autumn. Nowadays, people have very little time to read poetry and literature about autumn; perhaps listening to autumn music is the most convenient option.

I've been away from home for a long time, but every year when the autumn breeze arrives, I miss Binh Tuy, I miss the sea breeze of Tan Long sand dunes on those gentle sunny mornings, I miss the pungent smell of dried fish and La Gi fish sauce. It's such a strange smell: I can't stand it when it's near, but I miss it when it's far away! Another autumn breeze has arrived… There are dozens of songs about autumn, but why do I only want to listen to "Autumn Melancholy" by Lam Phuong, sung by Kim Anh? It seems that through Kim Anh, autumn melancholy has become even more melancholic. And I, an old man, feel the chill of the setting sun, the gentle autumn breeze, and close the door to listen:

Autumn brings sparse sunshine, and the wind carries memories.

The melancholy evening sky fills my heart with sorrow.

Tears of love soaked the hem of her innocent dress.

Forget about a lifetime of pain and suffering…

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