Where are you going, cool breeze?

“… The cool breeze has come/ The purple afternoon breeze spreads across the sidewalk/ And the wind kisses my long hair/ Then autumn flies away/ In the golden sunlight of this afternoon”… (Watching the autumns go by - Trinh Cong Son).

Autumn, the cool breeze has come. A little bit of light wind, a little bit of cold, a little bit of withering, dry, mixed in the air of an early morning. This year, autumn has brought a storm. “… Heaven said, Heaven sends floods every year…” (song Hoi Trung Duong – Part II by Pham Dinh Chuong).

Autumn, what a beautiful season! I love the yellow leaves that still cling to the branches and trees, not yet falling, and hidden among the yellow leaves are the few new buds that sprout, only to fall silently again the following autumn or many autumns after that...

There are many poems, songs, essays, paintings... praising autumn, but ironically, autumn is the season of cool breeze - a kind of sad wind - alluding to the elderly - who one day do not fall like leaves, but... collapse! Thinking about old age, I tearfully look at the toong-teng leaves, it seems they still regret the time when they were green regardless of the sun, rain, and storms, day after day indifferently passing by, but oh leaf, one day you will fall, and I seem to feel a little pain when I hear a falling sound!

The cool breeze has come! It came without waiting, is this good news or bad news for those who are wandering in the sunset? Sometimes, I wonder, what about being old?

According to musician Y Van, "sixty years of life" seems to no longer be true in the 21st century with modern medical equipment, "sixty years of life" looks very young compared to the 21st century! There are many old people who are indifferent to the cool breeze every year, "just pretending to be young", but one day suddenly find themselves no longer young, they are startled by the cool breeze! And now when entering the "cool breeze age", people hurriedly practice walking evenly, practice standing still, old people look for the elixir of life to wait for the command one two... one two... stop... stop! And then disperse... try! But at this point, what is the point of trying anymore, if there is, it is only "trying" but rarely "sticking" anymore!!!

Every morning, I wake up and go out for a walk, looking at five or seven pairs of branded clothes and shoes… exercising vigorously. The first month, I still had all my clothes. The second month, I had only one pair, the third month, I had about two pairs left. I asked my second uncle and third aunt, where were they that I didn’t see them exercising anymore? They “went far away”! That means… they’ve fallen off!

Every year, the cool breeze comes back... People who have reached the age of cool breeze and have a happy family, there is nothing to say. On the contrary, there are many (even in developed countries like England, France, America...) who are still unfortunate, homeless, hungry and cold... and are treated harshly by their children and relatives. People often use the word "lonely". I think "lonely" exists, but "anchored" does not, because they have no shore to anchor to, so where do they go, cool breeze?

Every year, when the cool breeze comes, I usually check my "equipment". I must have "worked on the field" or "disassembled the machine" because there is a rattling sound and it won't "sprint" even though I have "tightened" the throttle!

I am a native of La Gi, but writing this article in Saigon, suddenly, I remember the cool breeze seasons in Binh Tuy. An autumn with light rain, the sky sometimes only has sunshine, giving us the feeling of a peaceful countryside. In the cool breeze season, I remember those years long ago, I, alone, walked on the sandy beach of Lagi, looked out at Hon Ba, looked at Ke Ga lighthouse in the distance, saw the whole sky and water as if in a light mist, giving me a feeling of loneliness, desolation to the point of sadness!

This morning, a flock of sparrows flew down to the garden next door to wait for the rice grains from the kind neighbor. Looking at the sparrows innocently eating the rice, I felt so sorry for them. Their lives cannot escape birth, aging, sickness, and death, and among them, I wonder if any of them have reached the age of “the cool breeze”?

There are many poems, songs, and articles written about autumn. Nowadays, people have very little time to read poems and articles about autumn. Perhaps listening to autumn music is the most convenient.

I have been away from home for a long time, but every year when the cool breeze comes, I miss Binh Tuy, miss the sea breeze of Doi Duong Tan Long in the light sunny mornings, miss the smell of dried fish and La Gi fish sauce. Such a strange smell: I can’t stand it when it’s near, but I miss it when it’s far! Another cool breeze season has come… There are dozens of songs about autumn, but why do I only want to listen to “Thu Sau”, by Lam Phuong with Kim Anh’s voice, and it seems that through Kim Anh, the sadness of autumn becomes even sadder. And I, an old man, feel the chill of the evening wind and close the door to listen:

Autumn has little sunshine, the wind brings memories

The afternoon sky is so gloomy, my heart is broken

Tears of love wet the virgin dress

Forget all the pain of a lifetime…

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