In today’s society, many people often encounter obstacles in work and life because they are not good at communication. This may sound “ridiculous” to people who are good at speaking, but for people who are not good at communication, it is really difficult, talking is like torture!
Communication skills require talent, but they can also be developed through experience and learning. If you can do these four things, you are definitely not mediocre:
1. Learn to listen
There is a saying: “The only way to become a good speaker is to learn to listen to what other people say.”
In daily communication, many people are always worried about getting along with quiet people, even those who are quick-witted are no exception, the moment of "not knowing what to say" is really embarrassing.
There is also the type of person who makes you very tired every time you communicate. Before you can finish your sentence, they have already made you unable to say anything more. They may be rude, they may be sarcastic, they may not get to the point of the conversation… This type of person will gradually destroy the relationship because of their extremely low EQ.
To overcome this, there is no need for humor or clever speech, just need to know how to listen first, have understanding then the conversation will go on the right track.
The key to listening is never to judge whether another person's point of view is correct or not, but to respect the other person's right to express their opinion.
Wouldn't it be better to wait for the other person to finish speaking, then nod and express your thoughts?
2. Use moderate language
“A kind word warms three winters; a sarcastic word chills six months.”
Nowadays, many people take honesty and straightforwardness as an excuse to speak openly, but they do not know how much trouble this so-called “straightforwardness” can cause.
Wen Tingjun, a poet of the Tang Dynasty in China, had a quick mind and extraordinary literary talent. However, his career was not smooth. This was inseparable from his excessively straightforward way of communicating.
On Dinh Quan relied on his talent and learned many things, but spoke rudely and without restraint in front of people of higher rank and authority than himself.
Ling Hu Tao was the prime minister at that time and highly appreciated Wen Tingjun's literary talent. Although he knew that Wen Tingjun was an arrogant person, he often invited him to the palace to discuss matters.
Once, Linghu Tao asked Wen Tingjun about the origin of a book of poems. Nothing happened when Wen Tingjun told the prime minister that he should cultivate his knowledge of literature in his spare time.
Wen Tingjun's frankness made the prime minister extremely embarrassed because he was almost criticized for his "little talent and shallow knowledge".
This is just a small story among dozens of low EQ situations that prevented On Dinh Quan from going further in his career.
If you do not know moderation in speech, no matter how eloquent, fluent, or well-educated you are, sooner or later you will encounter disaster.
3. Don't say harsh words to your loved ones.
The ancients said: "Speaking kind words to people is warmer than thick cloth; using words to hurt people is like a spear stabbing deeply and drawing blood."
We don't know since when, but we always have the habit of reserving the most curt and sharp words for those closest to us.
Maybe we know their weaknesses too well, or maybe we know that they have an almost limitless tolerance for us. But it is also because of the close relationship that cruel words leave the deepest wounds.
Don't underestimate the tolerance of those close to you, because if they are no longer there, you will realize how lonely you are in this world .
4. Don't make promises easily
Our ancestors often taught: "People who do not have confidence in their words will not get good results in anything they do."
Indeed! Those who do not keep their word not only find it difficult to move forward, but can also cause disaster.
Don't brag in your daily communication. People who make promises all day but fail to keep them will surely face unimaginable consequences. Friends will avoid you, colleagues will despise you, and superiors will not trust you. Then what value do you have in this life?
Speaking is human nature, speaking skill is a habit. Turn words into a tool to help you win people's hearts and gain opportunities, don't let it hurt others, harming others also harms yourself!
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