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Four Ways to Gain Respect from More Powerful Coworkers

VnExpressVnExpress16/02/2024


Regardless of rank, it is not uncommon for a coworker to have more power than you, and you can balance this relationship through certain behaviors.

Whether you admit it or not, there are always power differences in co-worker relationships. This is often based on status, the nature of each person's duties, and who has more control at certain times.

For example, the head of the engineering team will have the final say on the timing of a new product launch. This person is likely to have more power than the head of the sales team. As a result, even at the same level, power may be divided, making lower-level employees uncomfortable. Therefore, balance is something that needs to be developed to achieve mutual respect in relationships with colleagues at work.

Essentially, it is a process of self-assertion, combined with the practice of self-determination, especially in times of abandonment or dependence. Here are four specific ways to implement it.

The balance of power between peers can be balanced in subtle ways. Photo: Pixabay

The balance of power between peers can be balanced in subtle ways. Photo: Pixabay

Know how to decline requests

It is difficult to refuse a request from a colleague with more power. However, power is multifaceted and situational. In a relationship, it is not only the ability to influence others, but also the ability to resist the influence of others who are more powerful.

So, if you’ve always said yes to every request, sometimes you should politely decline. When a co-worker puts too much pressure on you, like adding a last-minute request, you shouldn’t stop what you’re doing to prioritize the solution.

Consider replying this way: "I've received your request and am happy to help, but have other things to attend to right now. In the meantime, please send more information in case I can offer another solution."

Ideally, you want to send the message that you expect them to invest in the relationship as well. If they comply with the minimum requirements you set, you can confidently stand firm as equal partners.

Connect them with people who appreciate you

Another way to shift the power in the relationship is to subtly remind them of your value. This can connect them with people who appreciate you and who they respect.

This has three benefits. First, it is social proof that the people they admire also recognize your importance. Second, it changes the balance in the relationship because you gain power from someone they respect. Finally, it shows that you also have power.

For example, a middle manager who is always trying to be recognized as a strategic leader in the company, but is constantly underrated by HR in promotion meetings. To break through the barriers, this manager starts to develop relationships with other senior leaders and contributes to common initiatives that are beneficial to the company. He then connects the senior managers with several colleagues in HR to get more objective, multi-dimensional reviews. As a result, the middle manager has more opportunities for promotion.

Help them recognize their own blind spots

Even the most powerful people don’t see themselves exactly the way others see them. In other words, they have blind spots. And by helping them see them, they can start to see you as a trusted partner, not a vulnerable colleague.

By stepping out of your comfort zone in a subtle and assertive way and pointing out what those in power are not seeing, you will gain their respect and influence.

Make them act to get your attention

A fourth strategy for gaining respect from a more powerful colleague is to make it easier for them to “sell” their value to you. For example, when an employee has to re-apply for a job interview when the company is restructuring or merging, many people often prepare carefully for the questions they think they will be asked and try to answer them in a way that will please the colleague who is re-hiring them. This may seem safe, but in reality, it puts them in a position of insignificance and disrespect in the eyes of the other party.

Instead, be open-minded and don't be afraid to ask questions in return. When a co-worker asks, "Why should we hire you for this job?", the answer is often to demonstrate your worth.

But consider pausing for a moment and saying something like: "Actually, I'm not sure you should hire me. I want to know if our experiences and visions are a good fit. Anything you share about your management style would be helpful as I plan my next steps."

By applying these strategies, you can creatively pivot and shape the relationship in the direction it deserves.

Phien An ( according to Harvard Business Review )



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