Older sister, younger sibling

Illustration: Phan Nhan

It was the wedding of an official's son. The stage was sparkling, made even more magical by the decorative smoke, creating a feeling of floating in paradise. On stage were three couples, like many other weddings. But only those who knew the news knew that the woman in the purple velvet ao dai embroidered with gorgeous flowers standing next to the bride's father on stage had been away from her small family for decades and had only returned a few days before her daughter's wedding. However, all the looks and pointing disappeared like small waves when the white-capped waves surged, in the burst of joy, in the sparkling eyes and rosy lips. In Vietnam now, almost every wedding plays the song Khuc Giao Mua by musician Huy Tuan. The melody and lyrics trigger the feeling of wanting to hold hands with someone.

By your side, by your side, I'm drunk with happiness.
Your lips I thought were peach petals
By your side, by your side, I hear you singing in my heart.
Melodies of love
We go together to welcome the coming spring
Soul blends with heaven and earth
Let's raise our glasses to wish each other more happiness.

*******

The divorce happened when my daughter was 5. I raised two daughters, which was also my wife's wish. She followed her yoga teacher, an Indian. In the past, I often heard her say that practicing yoga is to exploit the most divine qualities in a person's heart, making the soul full of love and joy. If the wife is happy, I am happy too. I simply thought that, not knowing that if I indulged in it, I would go crazy, a form of schizophrenia. I did not say that my wife was a case of yoga, but I deeply hated the fact that she insisted on leaving me and our two lovely daughters to follow that guy - yes, even in my thoughts I could not use any other word for the dark-skinned, black-eyed, long-lashed man who had taken away my wife, the mother of my children. She even raved about a yoga wedding that she would attend as a bride. It was hopeless. I thought that and accepted the separation.

3 years later, I got married again. Having suffered with my first wife who was a native Hanoian , I chose a genuine country girl. Marrying someone who loves me more than I love her, that was my criteria for choosing a wife this time. As for me, I just needed that woman to bring me a sense of security, that was enough.

Fortunately, both my daughters seem to like their stepmother, although for many years they have only called her aunt. Perhaps the word mother evokes painful childhood memories, so they avoid that title? I did not waste time analyzing it deeply because the aunt-niece relationship was smooth from the beginning. My new wife gave birth to a precious son, but in the family there was no feeling of your child, our child. This atmosphere was mainly thanks to her, because I was constantly busy with work and did not pay attention to my child. This was probably also a reason why my ex-wife felt empty, turned to yoga and drowned in it.

The two daughters, who were spoiled by their mother and aunt, were trained no less than any young lady from a well-educated family. What to eat in what season was the first lesson in home economics. Do not eat anything out of season, which goes against the laws of nature, which is not only unappetizing but also expensive and can easily absorb a whole bunch of pesticides. Meticulously, she taught her two daughters how to cook each dish from the simplest. What to cook, how to cook it, how to use the right spices... For example, galangal, fermented shrimp paste, fermented turmeric, fermented shrimp paste or just fermented turmeric when marinating a dish. Chicken should not be eaten with perilla, or sliced ginger mixed with shrimp paste is not the same as sliced ginger mixed with duck eggs. Green squash cooked with bones is sliced differently than squash cooked with dried shrimp. Ginger should not be mixed whole from the beginning, but should be crushed and added before taking the pot off the stove. Scallions in stir-fries and scallion in soups have completely different sizes. Stir-frying the vegetables with fragrant garlic oil before adding the vegetables is correct, but you need to leave a little bit of crushed garlic, before removing the pot from the stove, add it to ensure the stir-fried vegetables will be much more fragrant... In general, it's all small things, but it distinguishes a well-trained girl from a girl who comes from a carelessupbringing . Even the way she teaches her daughter to never hold the lid upside down on the stove, but to gently place it upside down even if in a hurry - is also an image very close to my childhood, because it's exactly like the way my mother used to do it, which I still remember very clearly. The act of turning the lid upside down is the behavior that my ex-wife always calmly did hundreds of times, making me feel annoyed without being able to comment.

A person who is meticulous in the kitchen is usually a good cook. The wife's rustic dishes are often very delicious and strange to city people. There are fried taro with star fruit, mussel soup with betel leaves, grilled meat on bamboo sticks, bean sausage... Following the criteria of each season, the whole family will have beef stew with red wine, snails with banana and bean, carp soup, pickles cooked with pork fat... In the summer, the meal often has sour soup with a variety of ingredients such as star fruit, sour ears, pomelos, and vinegar.

Then the eldest daughter got a boyfriend. The first person she confided in was not me. But my wife had fully informed me. She instructed her daughter in detail on how to behave as a lover. She was praised by her future mother-in-law because she had thoughtfully taught her all the skills of housework. She taught her to let go and enjoy love, but within limits. I understood this limit very well, so I completely trusted my wife.

*******

My aunt always told me: You must understand your heart. A girl's life is miserable if she makes a mistake once. You should only get married if you truly love him. I looked at my aunt, understanding that my father's woman was sharing her own story. I suddenly answered the question that had haunted me since childhood. Why did my aunt accept to marry a married man when she was still a virgin, not yet of age, and her appearance and family were not much to look up to when compared to my father. My aunt's sincere love for my father embraced our almost cold childhood. Because that love gradually grew into sincere affection for her stepchildren, expressed through specific acts of care. My aunt told me that only true love can make people happy. No one had ever told me this.

The future bride, I, felt very warm because my aunt had taken care of everything for the wedding. I also consulted with my aunt about wedding dresses, through which I discovered that my stepmother had a modern taste. It turned out that for many years, my aunt had always dressed simply because she wanted to give it to her children, but when she was a girl, she was also very well-dressed because her family was well-off. When she got married, she was also well-off, but my aunt explained that if the mother in the family dressed too much, she would not have enough time to look after her children, especially since there were not many children in the family. Obviously, the whole family trusted her completely with the food. She chose a menu that was appropriate to the family's status but did not cause her to be accused of being arrogant. She also asked her friends who had organized weddings for their children, asking them how to calculate the trays and bowls. There were many weddings that lacked a tray, but there were also many that had dozens of extra trays because they did not know how to calculate.

Mother came back in a hurry, she probably needed time to arrange for her small family. Aunt was the one who arranged the velvet ao dai for her. The night before the wedding, the three “adults” sat together to discuss. Father wanted both women to appear on stage together, but Aunt refused immediately. Aunt said that there were still many things behind the scenes that needed to be taken care of. Besides, there should not be gossip about such “unusual” behavior.

I overheard the last sentence my aunt said to my father: We are both older and younger, so we don't have to be so formal. That sentence made me so restless that I couldn't sleep. I wondered if I could become a delicate and tactful woman like the beloved mother of my childhood - and probably my whole life.

At the wedding, my aunt was the one who coordinated the entire banquet, and also took souvenir photos when the guests left. Looking at my aunt radiant in a trendy teal velvet chiffon-sleeved ao dai, it was so youthful and modern. My father must have been sobbing with pride for having a wife worthy of his current noble status. Although busy being a bride, while greeting the tables, I still saw my aunt occasionally discreetly dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. She must have been as emotional as my birth mother on this special day. Or maybe more so? I shook my head slightly, trying to dispel that unfilial thought, even though I would always keep it to myself.

*******

The ending: The girl was touched once again by her stepmother calling her aside, saying that she had discussed with her father to give her a house as her own capital. She said that for now, let's put aside the dowry for her alone, in the form of "gift" - parents give it to their daughter alone. Later, when the couple is truly compatible and she feels truly happy with her husband, it is up to her whether she should openly tell her husband or not. She said that she only hopes that she will live a carefree life, without material worries affecting her health and temperament. She knows that her parents are not as rich as her father's status should be, but they have given her special love and care. Her stepmother said that the reason was because she was born weaker than her younger sister, and her job did not earn as much money as hers. She promised to find someone to rent the house, considering her as having a stable monthly income. She also told her not to look down on her husband because of that, if by any chance he had a setback in his career.

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