'Preserve' core values, 'open your heart' to the times.

Values are obscured by the struggle for survival.

June marks a significant milestone for family affairs: Vietnamese Family Day (June 28th) – an occasion to reflect on the sacred role of the family in the journey of building individuals and the nation. In the powerful current of modernization, where globalization, the digital society, and urbanization are changing all structures, the Vietnamese family value system also needs to be seriously re-examined, not only from an ethical perspective, but also as a solid foundation for the nation's aspiration for strong and prosperous development.

“The Vietnamese Family Value System in the Era of National Resurgence” – this is an article by Associate Professor Dr. Bui Hoai Son, Standing Member of the National Assembly’s Committee on Culture and Education , published in the media in June of this year. In the article, Associate Professor Dr. Bui Hoai Son raises the issue: “In the hurried flow of modern society, as urbanization, globalization, and digitalization accelerate, the traditional values of the Vietnamese family are facing many serious challenges. The family – once considered the “first school” of every person, the place that nurtures emotions, morality, and character – is now being swept into a whirlwind of change. If we are not vigilant in recognizing and preserving it, we may very well lose ourselves, lose the deepest roots of our national culture. The shift from the traditional three-generation family model to the nuclear family model has made shared meals together a luxury for many young people.”

In large cities like Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City, many people choose to live independently for convenience in their work, but inadvertently distance themselves from the cultural ecosystem of their families. Stories about family traditions, customs, and lineage—once the source that nurtured moral values—are gradually being drowned out by the noise of daily life.

Much is said about "individual freedom," but little is mentioned about "family responsibility." On social media, there are countless videos sharing lifestyles of singlehood, not getting married, and not having children, creating a trend of "liberation from constraints." This isn't entirely negative, but without guidance, it can easily lead to the erosion of fundamental values that families have painstakingly preserved: filial piety, marital devotion, and silent sacrifice for one another.

In another context, the rapid development of digital technology has turned smartphones, tablets, smart TVs, and other devices into a "third party" interfering in family relationships. Silent meals, with each person staring at a screen instead of listening, sharing, and caring for one another, are becoming a familiar sight. This is an invisible distance, yet very real – a subtle rupture in the emotional bond.

Moreover, the divorce rate in Vietnamese society is showing an alarming upward trend. Many couples separate after only a few years of marriage, or even just a few months, because they cannot find common ground, lack listening skills, or are not tolerant enough of their differences. Divorce is no longer a taboo, but it should not become an easy choice whenever troubles arise in family life.

"Traditional cells" amidst a changing world

According to Associate Professor Bui Hoai Son, "amidst countless challenges, it is encouraging that the Vietnamese family value system has not lost its identity. Many families, through their steadfast adherence to traditional morality and their creative adaptations to the modern pace of life, are proving day by day that core values such as love, loyalty, filial piety, and sharing are not outdated. On the contrary, they are 'precious assets,' things that bind people together, nurture inner strength, and awaken aspirations for advancement in each individual and the community as a whole."

As Associate Professor Bui Hoai Son rightly pointed out, in Vietnamese culture, the family is not only a place to live, but also a space for transmitting moral values, family traditions, and the foundation of character. The tradition of "three generations living together," respect for elders, deference to younger generations, etiquette, and loyalty are elements that have shaped the identity of Vietnamese families through generations. However, in the context of social media, technology, and globalization permeating every aspect of life, the structure and role of the family are clearly changing. This raises the question: Which values should be preserved, and which need to be renewed to adapt to the times?

I believe that, amidst the modern pace of life, filial piety remains a core cultural element. It's not just about providing material care, but also about maintaining a spiritual connection and showing gratitude to one's parents. Whether living in the city, working remotely, or studying internationally, the spirit of "drinking water and remembering the source" should still be present through phone calls, inquiries, and timely visits. Even though lifestyles have changed, customs such as greeting others, sharing meals, and maintaining politeness in speech and conversation remain crucial.

From another perspective, the modern family should be a place where each person can be true to themselves: their career, lifestyle, love choices, etc. But at the same time, it's also necessary to maintain a spirit of connection, sharing, and shared responsibility. The generation gap is no longer about age, but about the "speed of updating." Young people today grow up in a digital environment with diverse information, and no longer accept the idea that "parents are always right." Dialogue, asking questions, and sharing will help bridge the gap and build mutual respect, instead of maintaining a patriarchal or authoritarian model.

In reality, modern family relationships need to be intertwined with responsibility: the responsibility of raising children shouldn't fall solely on one person; there should be shared financial responsibilities and mutual emotional support. No one is the "sole pillar," but the whole family is a collaborative structure that grows together. In many Vietnamese families, women still play "two roles"—outside the home and inside the house. However, gender equality is not just about women's right to work, but also about the right to make decisions, to share the roles of childcare and housework, and to live according to their personal aspirations. A modern family needs synergy, not burdens…

Vietnamese families in the multicultural era

In the article, Associate Professor Bui Hoai Son emphasizes, "No value system can exist if it only remains at the level of resolutions or slogans. For the Vietnamese family value system to truly take root in people's hearts, becoming a driving force for life and action for each individual, these correct policies must be realized through concrete actions, touching every kitchen, every porch, and every heart in every Vietnamese family."

First and foremost, the policy system related to families needs to be restructured in a way that is synchronized, long-term, and strategically oriented. The Vietnamese Family Development Strategy to 2030 has been approved by the Government, but it still needs to be implemented more vigorously, linked to national target programs on building new rural areas, sustainable poverty reduction, and the development of basic education and healthcare. A family cannot be happy without basic conditions for social security – the material foundation for cultivating spiritual values.

Furthermore, family education needs to be placed back at the center of Vietnam's human development strategy. Schools can teach children knowledge, but the family is where moral values are nurtured. Therefore, it is necessary to design programs to cultivate parenting skills, skills in building marital happiness, and emotional education within the family... as part of ongoing adult education. Political and social organizations such as women's and youth groups can become "cultural relay stations" to bring these values into the community...

Finally, according to Associate Professor Bui Hoai Son, "every citizen, from leaders to ordinary workers, is a crucial link in protecting and developing family values. A timely apology, a family meal, an afternoon spent playing with children – all these seemingly small things are the most practical actions to cultivate a great system of values. Family is not just about blood ties, but also the first school where people learn to love, to be tolerant, and to be human. If each family is a flame of love, then the entire nation will be a warm sun. From the family, we can awaken aspirations, faith, and resilience to reach new heights. In the journey to conquer the goal of 'a strong and prosperous Vietnam by 2045,' each happy, kind, and compassionate family will be a solid brick contributing to building a sustainable, humane, and prosperous foundation for the country."

It can be said that Vietnamese families don't need to be like families anywhere else in the world. But to venture out into the world, Vietnamese families need to understand who they are, to know how to "preserve" what is precious and "open up" to what is necessary. And above all, every person in the family, regardless of their role, deserves to be listened to, to be themselves, in a home that is not just a place to live, but also a place to love.

According to Associate Professor Bui Hoai Son, building a system of family values in the current context is not only a moral act but also a strategic choice for a nation entering a new era of development. The Party's Platform (supplemented and developed in 2011) has identified fundamental values: a prosperous, progressive, and happy Vietnamese family. As early as 2014, Resolution No. 33-NQ/TW of the 11th Central Committee of the Communist Party of Vietnam affirmed: "The family is a special social institution, where the fine traditional cultural values of the nation are preserved and promoted, and where human character is formed." Based on these orientations, the system of family policies needs to be reviewed and redesigned in the spirit of "accompanying - supporting - fostering."

Hong Minh

Source: https://baophapluat.vn/giu-gia-tri-cot-loi-mo-long-voi-thoi-dai-post553316.html