A job where "no one can be trusted", every day at work I get sexually harassed

Kneel down and beg for forgiveness

"She was lured into the restroom by a customer to have sex. The customer forced her to kneel down and beg her to open the door," DNA (21 years old, living in Ho Chi Minh City) recalled the haunting moment of her colleague, when she was a waitress in a bar.

A. said that after witnessing many bad things at work, she proactively asked for leave so that her life would not be affected.

Bar staff always have to face many sensitive situations (Illustration: Minh Hoang).

2 years ago, A. came from her hometown to Ho Chi Minh City to work. During the day, A. was an office worker, but at midnight, she hurriedly changed her clothes and went to work at a bar. This was a job A. accidentally found on a social network community group.

Because of his basic English, A. was hired immediately for shifts from 6pm to 2am or 11pm to 6am the next day. This job had a probationary salary of about 6 million VND/month, not including tips. In addition, A. was paid an additional 150,000 VND for each glass of wine that guests invited him to drink. At that time, although only 19 years old, A. had an income of more than 10 million VND/month, much higher than his peers.

As a member of the LGBT community, A. looks like a guy. However, even though he was assigned to clean tables and chairs, A. still could not escape the advances of male customers who came to the restaurant.

"At first, I simply thought that people would go to bars and pubs to drink beer and wine politely. Because this is also an area where many foreigners live. But after working there for a few days, I found something unusual because the bar was recruiting "lady night" staff," A. said.

Even when being propositioned or receiving rude comments, bar staff always have to smile and act as if nothing happened (Illustration: Minh Hoang).

According to A., the concept of this title refers to female employees responsible for serving drinks to guests. In addition, these girls must find ways for guests to order food, drinks and give tips.

"Ladies who are night girls can have relationships with customers to have a better life. One of my former colleagues has even settled abroad thanks to her relationship with customers who come to drink," A. said.

prone to fall

As a waitress at a bar in Ho Chi Minh City since October 2022, TN (23 years old) has gradually adapted to the concept of "nightlife".

After graduating with a law degree from a famous university in Ho Chi Minh City, N. quit the job that his parents and himself had expected of him to choose to do "night life".

N. shared that when she had her diploma in hand, she could not find a job in her field because the salary was too low. By chance, she learned that working at a bar would bring a stable income, without any constraints or qualifications. N. could earn about 15 million VND per month, but the workload was large, sometimes having to "plow" 16 hours a day.

Being vigilant against rude behavior is always an important rule that every bar employee must know (Illustration: Minh Hoang).

"I have to hide it from my family when I work here. At first I didn't mind, but later I realized that many people looked at me with caution. People around me thought that people who do this job would be bad and have bad habits," N. confided.

Working from 6pm until the next morning, N's health was greatly affected. From having a stomach ache, N's memory gradually deteriorated.

Although he hasn't been working for long, N. has had many "funny and sad" experiences.

"Once, right after starting my shift, a customer suddenly threw a glass at me. The broken piece injured my face and made it bleed, but I still had to grit my teeth and go forward to see if the customer was okay first, then go home and worry about myself," N. recalled.

Regarding being sexually harassed at work, N. said that this happened "all the time". When these situations happened, N. could only laugh it off and keep her distance from customers. Up to now, those "horrifying" experiences are just jokes to N.

Above all, N. revealed that one of the unspoken rules when working in this environment is not to trust anyone. "The colleague who gave me this advice was the one who later deceived me," N. said, frustrated.

For N., she will not consider this job as a long-term career but only a temporary source of income to help her cover her living expenses. In the future, N. will try to find another suitable job and "come out into the light" more.

DNA confided that A. himself also believes that working in a bar environment will have negative effects. "There are a few situations where I feel like I lose my self-respect and self-worth. No matter what the purpose is, it's easy to fall," A. commented.

According to lawyer Tran Minh Hung (Ho Chi Minh City Bar Association), the State has issued a code of conduct on sexual harassment in the workplace but there is still no specific definition of sexual harassment. However, it can be understood that sexual harassment is a sexual act that affects the honor and dignity of others. This is an unwanted, unacceptable act that offends the recipient.

Sexual harassment is often expressed physically (contact, intentional touching, fondling, hugging), verbally (inappropriate comments, sexual innuendos, suggestions, or repeated personal requests) or non-verbally (such as body language, eye contact, looks).

"Acts of provocation, harassment or solicitation are also considered acts of sexual harassment regulated and prohibited by law," the lawyer said.

Accordingly, acts of continuous solicitation, provocation, and sexual harassment may be subject to administrative sanctions according to regulations (Article 7 of Decree 144/2021/ND-CP).

Specifically, violators will be fined from 2-3 million VND for acts of provoking, teasing, insulting, defaming, or defaming the honor and dignity of others, except for those performing official duties or family members.

In addition, the law also stipulates a fine of 5-8 million VND for acts of sexual harassment, molestation or pornography, arousal in public places. Violators must also remedy the consequences by making a public apology.

In addition, it is impossible not to mention the use of force or threats of force; taking advantage of the victim's defenseless state to have sexual intercourse; and other sexual acts against the victim's will.

In terms of this behavior, the violator may be prosecuted for the crime of "Rape" according to the provisions (Article 141 of the 2015 Penal Code, amended and supplemented in 2017) with the highest penalty of up to 20 years in prison or life imprisonment.

"Employees working in bars and nightclubs are one of the professions with relatively high income. However, they often face many traps, especially traps and temptations of money and material things. Employees are often teased, solicited or even molested by customers.

Besides, there are many cases of people falling into traps, not being able to control themselves when drunk or being tricked and forced to use stimulants," the lawyer emphasized.

Source link: https://dantri.com.vn/lao-dong-viec-lam/nghe-khong-duoc-tin-ai-di-lam-ngay-nao-cung-bi-ga-tinh-20230720173215734.htm