In early March, the Department of Mental Health - Central E Hospital received a patient, a 14-year-old female student in a state of severe mental breakdown. She showed signs of memory loss, difficulty concentrating, frequent depression, self-blame and self-harming behavior.
During the examination and conversation, the patient said that he was under great pressure because he had to stay at the top of his class for a long time. This caused him to be stressed for a long time, lose sleep, and gradually fall into a state of depression. Excessive expectations from his family, especially the feeling of not being recognized by his family, made him feel useless and unable to bear the pressure of studying. He shared that if he did not achieve good results, he would be scolded by his mother and grandfather, leading to the thought that he had no value to live.
The doctor's diagnosis determined that the female student suffered from depression with suicidal thoughts, stemming from severe psychological trauma.
Experts say that we should not set too high expectations and put too much pressure on children's "shoulders".
Not only this case, pressure from parents and society is weighing heavily on students' shoulders. According to a survey by the Ministry of Education and Training in 2024, up to 67% of high school students have experienced extreme stress before important exams; of which, 25% have signs of mild to moderate depression.
In Vietnam, mental health remains a sensitive issue and has not received adequate attention. Many parents do not recognize the seriousness of symptoms such as insomnia, eating disorders or unusual emotional changes in their children. Many cases are only discovered when the condition has become serious, even leading to suicide.
According toeducation experts, the common mentality of many parents is to want their children to be good, successful, and even surpass themselves, according to the concept that "a child better than his father is a blessing for the family". However, in the context of modern society, high scores or obedience are not enough to ensure a successful future. Children need to be developed comprehensively, in which mental health plays a core role.
“Students are living in a fragile and uncertain world ”
Associate Professor Dr. Tran Thanh Nam - Head of the Faculty of Educational Sciences, University of Education (VNU Hanoi) said that students today are living in a world full of pressure and uncertainty. This is a "fragile" and rapidly changing world, making young people feel confused and disoriented. The rapid changes in society, along with the explosive development of artificial intelligence (AI), have caused the amount of human knowledge to far exceed human absorption capacity, increasing anxiety and pressure to succeed.
Assoc.Prof.Dr.Tran Thanh Nam, Head of Faculty of Educational Sciences, University of Education (VNU Hanoi)
“Today’s students are not only learning to “beat” AI, but also to beat themselves in a never-ending race. Many of them do not know what to study for, or when they will ever learn enough.”
Mr. Nam also pointed out that, in the age of social networks, the pressure to achieve comes not only from school or family but also from fierce social comparison. The growing virtual connection creates unrealistic expectations, causing many young people to put pressure on themselves. Not only students, but also parents and teachers are caught up in the pressure vortex. Teachers are under professional pressure, many of whom find a way to relieve it by imposing on students. Meanwhile, parents have excessive expectations, contributing to increasing stress for their children. As a result, students become the ultimate victims.
According to Mr. Nam, if we do not give up the disease of achievement in education, from students, parents to teachers, the pressure to study will never be removed. Only when adults accept to let students develop according to their own strengths and interests, when learning becomes a journey of self-discovery and awakening of inner strength, can learners create motivation from within.
In fact, current education is still heavy on content, not really shifting to competency development. Many teachers are confused about what "teaching according to competency" is. It is time for a new educational philosophy, suitable for the technology era: "We must move to a self-determined pedagogical model, where students set their own goals, learn according to their strengths, interests and curiosities. Teachers play a guiding and stimulating role, and students will use technology, especially AI, to amplify their thinking and discover their own abilities."
According to Mr. Nam, a smart person in the new era is not someone who studies a lot or has a high degree, but someone who creates new values for society. The value of skilled manual labor also needs to be promoted. The spirit of lifelong learning, deepening knowledge rather than chasing after achievements and degrees, needs to be put first.
According to Associate Professor Tran Thanh Nam, to reduce pressure on students, the first thing is that the education system must be standardized. “Schools and teachers must be sufficient in quantity and quality. Every school must be a good school, there cannot be some good schools and some bad schools. If a school does not meet the general education program, it has not completed its mission.”
He also warned that after each exam, there are students who self-harm. Many of them commit extreme acts not only because of their exam scores but also because of the accumulation of long-term mental trauma. Exams are just the "last straw".
According to him, the solution is to help students have skills to take care of their mental health. This is not only for students but also for parents and teachers who need to be equipped with knowledge to quickly identify signs of instability.
“In an increasingly uncertain and harsh world, the important thing is not to avoid pressure, but to prepare young people to cope with pressure and overcome it sustainably,” Associate Professor, Dr. Tran Thanh Nam affirmed.
Exam Pressure: Parental Expectations Are the Root Cause
Dr. Vu Thu Huong - education expert shares the view: Many people think that students' mental pressure comes from exams with clear pass and fail rates and fierce competition. However, in reality, most of the pressure comes from parents' expectations for their children.
Dr. Vu Thu Huong - education expert
When parents set their expectations too high, they not only put pressure on their children but also put themselves in a state of stress every minute of the exam. In fact, exams should be an experience that helps children mature and learn skills to face challenges, not a "measure" of value or determine the future. A student who fails an exam does not mean failure, failure is just a natural part of the journey of learning and development.
“I have witnessed many students whose physical and mental health are seriously affected by academic pressure. Some students sleepwalk and have delirium during exam preparation, and some students burst into tears just by encountering a difficult math problem. Symptoms such as memory loss, insomnia, hair loss, stomach pain, etc. are all manifestations of school stress. There are even cases where students take their own lives when they cannot overcome expectations and pressure. This situation is even more serious when teachers, because they are too worried, also contribute to spreading pressure to parents and students. Many teachers express doubts about students' abilities in an unsophisticated way, or predict their scores and chances of passing, causing parents to panic and immediately push their children into a cycle of non-stop extra classes,” Ms. Vu Thu Huong shared.
According to Ms. Huong, not only students, but also parents need psychological counseling when their children take exams. Many families prepare their children for exams from the 8th grade, with extra classes packed all summer. Parents change their family schedule, do not go on vacation, do not let their children do housework, and put all their resources into their children. However, when children do not meet expectations, the feeling of "letting the family down" can cause them to have a mental breakdown.
Even during exam season, there are families that almost stop all their daily activities to take care of a “candidate”. From grandparents, parents, siblings… everyone focuses on taking care of their children taking the exam as if it were a “major event”. Meanwhile, what the children want most is to take the exam in a relaxed state of mind, like a normal semester exam.
Expert Vu Thu Huong recounted a story she witnessed: “A student in Europe took the university entrance exam but took the wrong exam location and returned home early. The whole family just laughed and did not blame him. They considered it a memorable experience and gave him a year to prepare again. Although the university entrance exam in Europe is also stressful, the spirit of facing it from parents here is worth pondering. They look at their children's mistakes with tolerance, turning them into positive lessons instead of pressure. From there, I want to ask Vietnamese parents: are we expecting and elevating exams beyond what is necessary? Is it time for us to re-evaluate the true role of exams, as an opportunity to learn, practice and grow, instead of a "life and death battle" that determines our children's future?
Exams are milestones, not finish lines. The true success of each student lies not only in the score, but also in the ability to overcome challenges and grow after each failure. It is time for us to look back, adjust and accompany them with understanding instead of expectation and imposition.
vov.vn
Source: https://baolaocai.vn/ap-luc-hoc-tap-sat-thu-vo-hinh-cua-suc-khoe-tinh-than-hoc-sinh-post648457.html
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