When children fall into a marital crisis and mention divorce, many parents feel shocked, disappointed, and even angry. But instead of reacting harshly, what children need at that time is understanding and support from their family.
Hearing their child say "I want a divorce", the first reaction of many parents is heartache, worry or blame. However, the attitude and words of parents at this time will greatly affect the spirit and decisions of their children.
When children want a divorce, how should parents respond?
Don’t jump to conclusions or blame: Divorce is not an easy decision, especially when the person involved is your child. Parents should not react with statements like: “Why are you so stupid?”, “Marriage requires patience” or “You made us lose face” . These statements not only hurt your child but also make him/her feel more alone during this difficult time.
First, really listen: Listening is not just about responding, but about understanding. When your child talks about wanting a divorce, all he or she needs is someone he or she can trust to confide in. Let your child say what is on his or her mind without being interrupted or judged. Loving, supportive silence is the first medicine to help your child feel better.
Respect your child’s decision: Even if parents disagree, marriage is their child’s private life. When your child has considered and decided to divorce, parents should show respect and accompany him/her, not impose. Respect helps your child feel like he/she can be himself/herself, not suffocated by adult expectations.
Suggest that your child consider carefully but do not force: In some cases, your child may be in a phase of anger or too much emotion. At that time, parents can gently advise their child to take more time to think, suggest that they seek help from a psychologist or mediator, if there is still a chance. But absolutely avoid saying things like “You have to come back”, “You cannot get a divorce” , because that can easily make your child resist or withdraw.
Maintain a good relationship with both sides: If your child is married, divorce is not just a matter of one person. Parents should maintain a moderate attitude, not speak ill of their son/daughter-in-law, or take sides. Maintaining a neutral relationship will help both sides avoid further conflicts and also help grandchildren, if any, not get caught up in the prejudices of adults.
Emphasize companionship and unconditional love: Whether children are right or wrong, divorced or still living, they always need love and support from their parents. Let them know: "No matter what, your parents are still here for you." An attitude of unconditional love will be the foundation to help your children overcome the broken days.
Don’t let social prejudices influence your or your children’s decisions: Many parents feel embarrassed when their children divorce, because they fear gossip from relatives and neighbors. But remember, the happiness and mental safety of their children are more important than anything else. Parents who stay calm and composed will help their children move forward confidently without feeling guilty.
Being a parent during a divorce is a test of empathy, clarity, and tolerance. What your child needs is not judgment or pressure, but an open arm, a gentle word, and a quiet heart. When parents remain calm and loving, their children feel secure enough to make the right decisions for themselves.
Source: https://khoahocdoisong.vn/cha-me-nen-lam-gi-khi-con-do-vo-hon-nhan-post1555560.html
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