Le is like that. When something puts her under pressure, her brain immediately opens up a way out. Only a few of those "ways out" are real, the rest are just fantasies. At the moment, Le writes for an online entertainment site for young people. The view numbers showing the number of reads on each article always make her stressed.
But the thought of leaving the city is not a dream.
A few years ago, when the land market was booming, Hoang and Le collected all their savings books and bought a piece of land on the outskirts of another city. The land book was in both of their names. "This way, it will be easier to calculate in the future," Le told Hoang. Hoang was a little sad at Le's "later" but he thought it was okay. Life is hard enough that people don't want to tie themselves down to a relationship.
"It's deserted and sad there, but that's okay. I just need to leave the city..." Every time Le said that, Hoang felt like every cell in her body was reacting violently to the living space here - a brilliant city that attracts so many people. "There's everything here. If I go back to the countryside, I'll lack it!". "Don't treat me like a child who hasn't even set foot in the world yet. I'm mature enough with my decisions...".
Late in the afternoon, Hoang contacted an acquaintance to ask how much time and money it would take to build a level 4 house. His friend laughed loudly on the phone, saying that in this day and age, eating and dressing well is too good… Then he suggested buying a prefabricated wooden house. If you like the design, you can have the house in a week. Later, if you don’t like it, you can move it somewhere else. Quick and easy.
"A wooden house?" - Le exclaimed. She felt like she needed a wooden house tomorrow. That night, the two of them put their heads together to calculate the amount of money they had, adding up, subtracting. Everything seemed fine. Le looked up at the starry sky and said, how lucky she was to have met Hoang.
Hoang loves Le, but sometimes the thought pops up in his mind, how long can he continue with this person? Le is a pure, kind girl, but she always changes. It feels like she can't take the initiative in anything in life. Every intention can be interrupted by trivial matters.
Once, Le said she wanted to go with Hoang to another city for a change of pace, about half a month. At that time, Hoang had to arrange everything so that she could work remotely. She used all the connections she could get, and even took care of contacting accommodation and arranging the necessary things for the trip. Done. Le said she wouldn't go. Hoang was taken aback. She gave the reason that her uncle had researched the weather, and that the coming days would be erratic with storms, not suitable for a trip...
Hoang wanted to leave Le. Not because the trip was canceled, but because the feeling of uncertainty made Hoang lose his balance. Hoang is not a person who lives spontaneously. He always has plans. Long and short, like what to eat today, what to do when he has free time at night... If he lives without a plan, Hoang feels like there is a black curtain covering his eyes, he can't see anything ahead.
But even so, having Le in my life still feels more balanced.
2. The search for a prefabricated wooden house was interrupted by a slight problem. Le said that while waiting, she wanted to take a course in tree care. The land there, if she built a small wooden house of only a few dozen meters, there would be too much vacant land around. She would plant a beautiful garden herself. The thought of the tree roots no longer being limited to a ceramic pot, like when planted in a building in the city, made Le's mood freer.
The teacher in charge of one of Le's subjects was named Khoa. Khoa instructed on grafting and cutting. Khoa was about Le's age, tall, with bright eyes, and dressed appropriately, so he attracted attention. Le thought that the person teaching tree planting must be like a farmer, with mud on his hands and feet! But Khoa's hands were long and slender, white like a girl's, his voice was bright and his eyes were sparkling behind his glasses. Today, the teacher taught about the basic grafting steps. "Grafting is the most popular method today, because the tree flowers and bears fruit quickly, and has a pleasing shape. Therefore, grafting is suitable for bonsai players, or those who grow trees indoors or on the terrace. After only 1 or 2 months, the tree has a complete root system and performs its task of producing flowers and fruits. Too beautiful for a love affair, right?". The whole class laughed at the teacher's youthful and humorous way of teaching.
Turns out, gardeners are interesting - Le thought to herself. That day, she had just returned home and opened social media when she saw Khoa's new status: "In your life, you will definitely meet someone: At first sight, you will love! At first sight, you will love!". That sentence had a bit of a wordplay, so Le had to read it over and over again for quite a while.
In the evening, after dinner, Le sat with his knees drawn up on the chair, looking out at the sky that had been covered in black. His head was free with vague thoughts.
Lately, Le often sits there like that. One morning, Hoang saw Le holding a small notebook in his hand, a gift from Khoa. It was a notebook with a photo of Le printed on the cover. That photo was the one Le had used as his social media profile picture for several years now. Hoang approached Le, touched the notebook, and suddenly Le was startled, pulling back his hand that was holding the notebook, like a child whose favorite toy had been taken away by a friend.
Le also suddenly realized her unreasonable actions, but she changed the subject to Hoang's trip this weekend. Hoang would go to the new place first, to prepare some legal procedures before building a wooden house on the land. Le said, she would arrange it later.
3. After Hoang left for a few days, Le texted: "This weekend, Khoa will go choose seedlings with me. We live near our land, so I asked Khoa to come and help me plant trees. After all, Khoa has the technique and aesthetic sense for the garden." Hoang had no objection because Le had agreed to decorate the house with the plants she chose.
Le and Khoa arrived just as the sky was turning to afternoon. The purple sunset was behind the undulating mountains in the distance. The unfinished prefabricated house was still littered with furniture. Night had not yet fallen, but the temperature here had dropped very low. Hoang took advantage of the light to light a fire in the open space in front of the house, to keep warm and to match the highland air. Then, he went to town to buy some food to prepare dinner for the three of them. Maybe a roasted chicken would be suitable.
When he returned home, he saw Le and Khoa preparing charcoal to grill food. Hoang heard a snippet of their conversation. Khoa asked Le: "Who is that guy? Is he your family member?". Le stammered: "No. Oh, that's right...". Hoang heard Le's voice mixed with the sound of the wind: "Look, what kind of tree could this firewood have been when it was alive? Look at its fork, if we grafted the branches at this part, the tree would have a very strange shape, wouldn't it?".
There was the sound of wind whistling through the tall tree branches. Le and Khoa both looked up, what was that sound? Then they exclaimed when they saw the sky full of stars. Le asked: "Does Khoa like this place?". Khoa said: "Of course I do, this is an interesting destination for many young people in the city...". "Why is that?" - Le asked again. "Khoa doesn't know, maybe the street is too lonely!". Le's eyes widened: "Even Khoa is lonely?". "No, the street is lonely. Since meeting Le, Khoa has found the street even lonelier. That's why Le also left the street...". Khoa said and looked thoughtfully into the distance...
From this angle, Hoang could not see Le's face, but he felt that the conversation was very familiar, between young people with fluttering hearts. And Hoang had passed that time a long time ago.
Dinner. With a little bit of alcohol in his system, Hoang really wanted to use that alcohol to have an excuse to flirtatiously ask if Le loved Khoa? And Khoa too? But what would the point of asking? What if they both chose "Yes"? Would Hoang have enough courage to leave, to leave this peaceful new land? And if they chose "No", would Hoang's mind be free of those hateful doubts?
It seemed like something had crept into the peaceful space in Hoang's mind, from that moment!
4. In the morning, before sending Khoa back to the city, Le and Khoa went to visit the trees they planted yesterday. Some of the trees were fenced off very carefully by Khoa. Khoa told Le to take pictures of the trees every week and send them to Khoa so he could take care of them from afar! Le nodded and said that the trees were so touched by what Khoa said that they would try their best to grow. Khoa also pushed back, saying that you should also be cheerful, okay?
At that time, Hoang was looking at the house again. Today, the workers came to work for about a day and it would be finished. Hoang had thought about it. Hoang had chosen this wooden house very carefully, from the model, materials to the source of peaceful energy - Hoang believed so. So no matter what, he would still stay here! His freelance job, all he needed was a laptop.
The thought came to him strongly when his eyes caught sight of their fingers deliberately touching as they passed him. He turned back to diligently doing his work. The workers had just arrived. Hoang looked at the wooden house from afar, suddenly feeling boundless love. The house was so beautiful, and it must have all the conditions for anyone living in it to be happy. Shouldn't that be right?
The pace of life here is slower, I think. The road in front of the house is occasionally passed by by people, looking surprised because they can’t believe that in the middle of a vast empty land there is a house, as beautiful as in a movie. If they see Le in a long flowing dress watering the plants, they will find this scene very familiar, like in a fairy tale! And if anyone has ever read a classic Western novel, they will recognize the beauty in this painting as in those pages of the novel. A beautiful girl but also carrying a desolate sadness.
This episode of Hoang's podcast has been well received by many people. He talks about topics that are not new, but the way he presents them is very new, very appropriate and easy to understand - perhaps that's why each of Hoang's topics is always well received.
This time Hoang talks about conditional happiness. It's like holding a very precious gift in your hand, but using all your strength to throw it far away. Then using all your remaining strength to run to pick it up - because you think only when you have it will you be happy. That is the conditional happiness that we set for ourselves, that we must have a house, a car, a husband/wife, children, and a lot of property to be happy. Some people spend their whole lives throwing things away and picking them up again, but still feel empty when they have them. Why is that? Because happiness is something you feel, not something you can touch or grasp like you think. It's when you have good health, a house to live in, food to eat... and that doesn't require any strenuous searching, right?
In the middle of the conversation, Hoang suddenly stopped, he thought about personal matters, if Khoa had not appeared, would Le be happy in this place? Not sure. Because Le had just thrown that happiness far away, to another city.
5. Hoang has been talking less these days than when he was in the city. Ever since the time Le logged into the social network on Hoang's laptop and texted Khoa. Then Le forgot to log out. Every time Le texted on his phone, the computer would sync up with both the sent and received messages. The conversations had no beginning or end, but Hoang read them once and they were imprinted in his mind, because they were like a poem. The street is so lonely! The plateau is beautiful, but sad. Is the street still lonely today? I miss the street. It must be because the night is long, right, street?
One morning, Le asked Hoang: "Can you come back to the city?". Hoang intended to ask: "Why you, and not us?", but in the end he just asked: "For what?". "Because I suddenly remembered that I haven't had time to say goodbye to the old house?". Hoang intended to ask: "Really?". But then he realized that it was a skeptical question. It wasn't good. Or rather, according to the law of attraction, he would attract the things he was thinking about, so he stopped. Hoang tried to keep his composure, nodding as if he didn't know what Le's purpose was in going there...
The next morning, after Le left, Hoang remembered that when he left, Le had not yet had time to say goodbye to the wooden house and to himself. So Le would return to the plateau, just like the Le of the past. And then, we would begin to live the happy life we had chosen, right?
Positive thoughts attract positive things. Hoang always believes so!
Source link
Comment (0)