My child refuses to accept lucky money because 'I'll confiscate it all anyway'

Instead of receiving the lucky money and stuffing it into her mother's hand like every year, this Tet, the 13-year-old daughter decided not to take it, explaining in dissatisfaction: "My mother will confiscate it all anyway."

My husband and I have only one daughter, who is in 8th grade this year. Up to now, during Tet, she always gives all her lucky money back to her parents instead of keeping it for her own spending. This habit of hers was formed when she was young, because my husband and I always explain to her that her lucky money is actually her parents' money; no matter how much lucky money she gets, her parents have to take out their own money to give to other people's children, or even more, because most families have two children, not just one like my family.

Moreover, the amount of lucky money my child receives each year is about 3-4 million VND, a very large amount for a child at an age where he doesn't know how to manage money and can easily get spoiled if he has a lot of money. I told him to give all the lucky money envelopes to his parents, and if he needs anything, he can ask for it. If it seems reasonable, his parents will buy it for him from the lucky money he has.

My family is well-off and doesn't let our children lack anything, so I think it's unnecessary to let children hold money, and it can even spoil them when they suddenly have a large amount of money. Children can buy unnecessary things lavishly, or get used to spending money, and when they don't have money, they find ways to "earn" it in an unfair way, or get too caught up in shopping and enjoying themselves, forgetting their main task of focusing on studying...

My child has never kept lucky money since he was little. (Photo created by AI)

Because of the habit formed from a young age, unlike his peers, my child is often very indifferent to lucky money. Whoever gives him money, he thanks them and then puts it in his mother's wallet. He doesn't know how much money anyone gives him, and he doesn't even care. I consider this a success ineducation , and I am proud that my child is always innocent, pure, and not tempted by material things or comforts, or born to beg like many other minors.

However, my daughter's obvious reaction this year made me realize that it's not that she doesn't care about money, but rather that she's dissatisfied with what my husband and I do with lucky money. This year, when the adults came to give us lucky money, she didn't take it and put it in her mother's pocket like every year, but refused it outright: " Thank you, but I won't accept it ."

My daughter spoke so decisively that even the guests were stunned. When asked why, she smiled lightly: "Because I'm an adult now" , but then seemed to be unwilling, she added another sentence: " Why would I accept it? Mom will confiscate it all anyway ".

Even though my daughter said that sentence gently, how could adults not recognize her attitude? Both I and the guest were "frozen" for a moment. The guest smiled, pushed the red envelope into her hand, and said: "You just take it, I will ask my mother for special permission to let you keep this." The daughter reluctantly accepted it, thanked me again, then stuffed it into my hand and asked permission to go to her room.

Late at night, I gently commented to my son about his attitude that morning. He argued that he did nothing wrong because he did not say anything rude. "But everyone can see that you are dissatisfied because Mom kept the lucky money ," I said. My son said: "My dissatisfaction is a natural thought that arose in my mind, I was not rude. At this age, if Mom keeps 'keeping' the lucky money for me like a 5-year-old child, asking Mom for every penny for everything he needs and declaring what he bought and how much it cost, no one will be happy ."

Then the daughter declared: " As my parents always say, the lucky money people give me is actually your money, so you keep it and don't need to go through a middleman. From now on, I won't accept any lucky money ."

Actually, before Tet, my daughter asked her parents to let her keep her lucky money, saying that she was grown up and knew how to spend it, so she wanted to manage a small fund herself to proactively buy things she needed. When I told her I would let her keep 500,000 VND for pocket money after Tet, and that I would keep the rest for her, she didn't say anything more. I knew she was upset but I didn't care, I didn't expect her to react so strongly in the new year.

A little confused, I asked why my daughter was so harsh with her parents, her parents had not let her lack anything, my daughter blamed me for not trusting her, that her friends had long been given a significant portion of the lucky money, that if she was a good girl, how could she be spoiled just because she was given 3-4 million VND... My husband and I were about to analyze further, but my daughter showed that she did not want to listen anymore, told me to do as her parents decided, then covered her head with the blanket and said she wanted to go to sleep.

Since yesterday, I have been wondering and no longer steadfast in my point of view. I know my child is good, but I am still very worried because some friends have told me that their children buy dresses, lipstick, and dress up too much for their age, and some are girls who spend all their money on game shops... But I also feel that I cannot ignore my daughter's reasoning, especially when she is in the puberty stage and is very stubborn. My child is very obedient and polite but seems to be the secretly rebellious type.

Should I compromise with my daughter on the issue of lucky money? If I allow her to keep her own money, what should be the limit and what rules should be set to limit the "side effects"? I hope readers can give my husband and I advice on how to deal with our daughter who is in this "rebellious" age.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/con-toi-tu-choi-nhan-tien-li-xi-vi-dang-nao-me-chang-tich-thu-het-172250130161958601.htm