How much jealousy is enough?

In love, jealousy is not a bad thing. In fact, many people consider it a measure to know how much the other person loves them. However, from here, many arguments break out, many relationships are cracked, even broken because no one understands the boundary between "jealousy to keep" and "jealousy to lose".

Jealousy, sweet spice or smoldering poison?

Who doesn’t fear losing someone in love? Sometimes, a casual glance from your lover towards someone else is enough to make you feel uneasy. A polite compliment can also make your heart flutter with thoughts. A text message, a phone call, or simply the other person coming home late without warning, all can spark jealousy.

A little jealousy is very cute, because it proves that love is still passionate. Sometimes, just a slight sulk “who texted me so late?” is enough to make the other person feel loved and important. Thanks to that little jealousy, both of you learn to care, share, and reassure each other more.

But what about uncontrolled jealousy? It will slowly turn love into a battle for control. The jealous person is exhausted by suspicion, scrutiny, and fear. The jealous person is suffocated by the loss of freedom, privacy, and belief that he is respected.

When does jealousy become suffocating?

Many couples initially only feel mildly jealous, but because they do not release it in time, it gradually turns into a habit of “stalking”. Some people start secretly checking messages, Facebook, and call history. Some people set conditions of “no going out to eat with colleagues of the opposite sex”, “no contact with old friends”, and even demand to know the detailed schedule from morning to night.

The consequences are not only endless arguments but also cause the relationship to fall into a state of "one side is jealous, the other side is hiding". Because when being controlled too much, many people start to hide things to avoid arguing, even though they did nothing wrong. The more they hide, the more jealous they are, the more jealous they are, the more they hide, this vicious cycle silently erodes love.

Where is the line between healthy jealousy?

There is no general standard, but love psychologists often suggest a few "alarm signs" for you to check your level of jealousy:

Do you often secretly check your lover's phone, email or text messages?

Do you ask your lover to cut off or limit contact with friends or colleagues of the opposite sex?

Do you often feel insecure and afraid of losing your partner even when they have done nothing wrong?

Do you get angry for no reason just because your lover comes home late, is busy, or doesn't reply to your messages right away?

If you answered “yes” more than “no,” it’s time to slow down. Ask yourself: Why do I lack confidence? Is it my partner, or do I lack confidence in myself?

What to do to be jealous enough and not lose each other?

Talk it out: When you have an insecurity, don't keep it to yourself and let it turn into unreasonable suspicion. Sharing openly with each other is always the safest way to resolve it.

Set clear boundaries: Every couple needs their own “unwritten rules” to avoid misunderstandings – for example, respecting each other's friends, giving advance notice when coming home late, and being transparent about past events if necessary.

Keep your space private: Love cannot fill every relationship. Everyone needs friends, work and their own world . Don't turn love into a cage for only two people and then lock the door.

Heal your insecurities from within: Sometimes, excessive jealousy stems from your own self-doubt and fear. When you believe that you are good enough and worthy enough, you will be less afraid of losing. If your negative emotions get out of control, don't hesitate to see a psychologist.

Jealousy is not wrong, being too jealous is wrong.

In love, jealousy should still exist, but only to the extent that it keeps people closer together. It is like a spice: too bland and it is tasteless, too spicy and it is unbearable. Sometimes, what keeps the other person together is not a wall of jealousy, but trust and a feeling of respect.

So, if you are jealous today, be smartly jealous, jealous enough, jealous so that people feel loved, not so that they are afraid to leave you.

Source: https://khoahocdoisong.vn/ghen-tuong-bao-nhieu-la-du-post1551492.html