4 lessons for parents to raise happy children

Gretchen Rubin (59 years old) is an American author and motivational speaker. Ms. Rubin specializes in researching the topic of happiness in life. She has published many books around this topic, including The Happiness Project, which has sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide and been translated into more than 30 languages.

Ms. Rubin has two grown daughters. From her experience as a mother and years of research on the topic of happiness, Ms. Rubin offers four lessons for parents, so that parents can raise happy children.

Ms. Gretchen Rubin (Photo: CNBC).

No need to cheer up your child every time he is sad.

Mrs. Rubin realized that trying to cheer up her child when he was in a bad mood was ineffective. Phrases like: "Look on the bright side," "It's not so bad," or "You're great"... are clichés. Instead of helping her feel better, she often feels worse.

On the contrary, children often feel comforted when their grandmother says things like: "That was terrible, you must have been very sad", "That comment was malicious, you must have been hurt", or "I also find this knowledge difficult"...

After raising two children, Ms. Rubin realized that parents can only help their children improve their psychology by admitting that they are indeed having problems and are not okay.

Show love by accepting reality

A paradox in parenting that has troubled Ms. Rubin for many years is that she loves her children, but at the same time puts pressure on them to try harder, to progress faster, and to do more.

Ultimately, she realized that parental love is both unconditional and filled with expectations, even ambitions. However, sometimes learning to accept reality is the solution that helps both parents and children feel more comfortable.

As parents, we have to live in the paradoxes of time (Illustration: Leoai).

Be kind to yourself and you will be a better parent.

A reality that needs to be accepted is that we cannot force others to change, even if that person is our child.

As a mother, Ms. Rubin discovered that when she changed herself first, taking better care of herself, such as prioritizing getting enough sleep, reducing irritability, arranging her time reasonably so as not to be rushed, and maintaining a sense of humor, her children also became calmer and happier.

As she changed herself, her children responded to those positive changes, and things got better little by little. From there, Mrs. Rubin realized that she couldn't make her children change, but when she proactively changed, the way she and her children interacted with each other also changed, and from there, her children might change.

Cherish every moment, because children grow up in the blink of an eye.

Rubin recognizes that as a parent, a busy day or a difficult week can feel like an eternity, testing your endurance. But a school year can fly by in the blink of an eye. Children grow up so quickly and before you know it, they’re adults.

As a parent, Runbin concludes, parents must live with the paradox of time, where a day can feel very long, but a year passes very quickly. Therefore, without a clear sense of time, parents may miss the opportunity to truly accompany their children in their precious formative years.

Source: https://dantri.com.vn/giao-duc/4-bai-hoc-de-cha-me-nuoi-day-duoc-nhung-nguoi-con-hanh-phuc-20250514115624011.htm