Turning 60, I realized that the quality of life in my later years depends on my attitude and relationship with my children.

Below is a sharing from a middle-aged woman in China:

When I turned 60, I realized that the quality of my life in my later years depends on my attitude and relationship with my children! At this age, it doesn't matter what you did for a living or how much money you have saved.

It doesn't matter if you are a professional, a professor, or an ordinary worker. It doesn't matter if you have no savings or a lot of money. These are not the most important factors that determine the quality of your life in your later years.

What is most important? Just 2 words: Children!

Some of the elderly come from very ordinary families, and their children are wage earners, earning 3,000-4,000 yuan a month. But they often visit their parents, and there is always the sound of children laughing in the house.

Meanwhile, some elderly people before retirement had high salaries and high status but were lonely all year round. Sometimes they felt unwell but could not contact their children. Social workers were more worried about them than their children.

What a strong contrast.

Why is it said that the most fundamental cause of a person's condition in old age is the attitude of their children towards them? There are three reasons.

Bước sang tuổi 60, tôi mới hiểu ra chất lượng cuộc sống trong những năm cuối đời phụ thuộc vào thái độ và mối quan hệ với con cái - Ảnh 2. — Illustration

First , admit that you and your children are just "normal people," so your later years will be more comfortable and happier.

Our society has a fixed mindset: Parents believe that their children are "great" and "excellent" and expect them to grow up to be successful people.

In fact, most people are ordinary people.

But some old people find it difficult to admit this. They always feel that they have sacrificed a lot for their children, so their children must become successful to repay and bring glory to the family.

This mentality of "treating children as tools" will only make the family atmosphere more and more tense.

Second, develop a harmonious relationship with your children when they are grown up, care for each other but keep a distance.

Have you noticed this phenomenon? Many elderly people have good relationships with their children before they get married and start families. Whether they are sons or daughters, when they are single, they are very close to their parents, and every year, during the holidays, they will visit their parents and buy them gifts.

But after marriage, especially in families with sons, the relationship gradually changes from harmony to chaos!

I know a family like this: Many years ago at work there was a male colleague, when he was in his twenties, his parents helped pay the deposit to buy a house and he moved into the new house.

When he was single, his relationship with his parents was fine, he would visit them on weekends and Tet, occasionally buying gifts. During this period, his mother often came to her son's house to help clean the room.

Although she complained that "the child is so old but still messy", she still came to clean every week and never got tired of it. Two years later, this colleague got married and the house welcomed a new daughter-in-law.

However, the man's mother still regularly visited her son and daughter-in-law's house every week, nominally to clean the house, but actually to supervise her daughter-in-law's behavior. Once, she even went into the young couple's bedroom to rearrange the furniture.

There was even a time when the daughter-in-law's newly washed clothes were put straight into the closet before they were dry, causing the entire closet to become moldy.

The young couple had their own preferences when it came to buying household appliances, especially in terms of color and shape. But every time the mother-in-law went to the supermarket, she always bought a lot of cheap pots and pans that did not match the family's style. The daughter-in-law's resentment grew, should she marry her husband or her mother-in-law?

But the mother-in-law is always confident: "I have put down a deposit on this house, the owner is my son, why can't I get in?".

The young couple's marriage lasted less than two years and ended in a nasty divorce. The male colleague then stopped visiting his parents as often as before, and felt a knot in his heart.

Why does this happen? The most important reason is that some elders "care" too much about their children's small families, reaching out too far, causing dissatisfaction among their children and spouses.

Third, for most elderly people, being involved in their children's lives is their only spiritual comfort in their later years.

After talking to some people who have estranged relationships with their parents, I discovered an interesting phenomenon: People who have bad relationships with their families often have very strong and independent personalities, and also achieve good results in their personal careers.

And because success in their career brings them convenience: They do not need to rely on financial help from their parents, so they are not often too close to their parents.

I know a girl like this: In her younger years, she loved a boyfriend very much but her parents forced her to break up with him. The boyfriend then became the girl's most painful regret. Since then, she only wanted to make money and have a successful career. She is now running two companies.

When she gave birth to her first child, her parents offered to help take care of the baby and her during her confinement period. However, she refused: "I have already hired a nanny and a housekeeper, so I won't bother you anymore." Now that she has two children, whether during pregnancy, childbirth or other times, she does not depend on her parents for a single penny.

Think about it, in the last years of life, the lives of children and grandchildren become the focus of concern for the elderly. Most elderly people want to participate in the lives of their children. However, if the relationship with children is tense and not harmonious, then things like "playing with grandchildren" and "having a happy family" will not also become luxuries?

Source