Parents 'choose for' child to study pedagogy, secretly hope child fails to pass wish

Nguyen Le Phuong Anh, a female student from Ninh Binh, scored 27 points in block D01 (Math, Literature, English) in the recent 2025 high school graduation exam. With this achievement, Phuong Anh can confidently apply for the International Business major - a dream she has cherished throughout her high school years.

However, on the day of registration, the top three positions all belonged to the English Pedagogy major at three different Pedagogical Universities. The International Business major only appeared in the last position. It all stemmed from the orientation set by the parents.

Phuong Anh recalls that as soon as she heard her parents' choice, she firmly objected: "I told my parents that I was not suited to the teaching profession, and that I only wanted to pursue business. My parents insisted that the teaching profession was safe and stable. There was no tuition fee for studying Pedagogy, and there was also a monthly allowance, and after graduation, the possibility of finding a job was better than in other fields," the female student recalled.

In the following days, the atmosphere at home was tense many times. Phuong Anh was sad and avoided her parents, while her parents still held the view that teaching was the best career path. After many unsuccessful arguments, the female student had to give in and put English Pedagogy at the top of her list of wishes.

"The closer the benchmark announcement date gets, the more I secretly hope that I fail the three Pedagogy wishes I registered for. If so, then I will have a reason to switch to the major I really want to study," Phuong Anh said.

Although not really interested in the teaching profession, many candidates still register for the teaching profession according to their parents' orientation or wishes. (Illustration photo)

In a similar situation, Pham Minh Quan, a candidate in Hanoi, placed Mathematics Education at the number one position. However, behind that seemingly certain choice was another desire.

“I told my parents that I didn’t want to be a teacher because I knew it wasn’t right for me. I lack patience, and I’m not good at communicating in front of a crowd or conveying knowledge clearly. On the contrary, I love technology, I like sitting in front of the computer for hours programming and figuring out solutions, so I just want to pursue IT ,” Quan said.

Ba Quan, a retired teacher, almost ignored his son's words, still firmly giving a series of reasons why he believed that education was the optimal choice. In the end, Quan had to put his choice of education in the first place, not because of consensus, but just to avoid an endless argument with his family. "If I pass the education exam, it will be my parents' joy, not mine," the male student said.

Ms. Vu Thi Van, currently working at a psychological counseling center in Hanoi, said that conflicts between parents and children in choosing a major are not new. The main reason comes from the gap in thinking between the two generations. Parents often emphasize factors such as stability, safety and the ability to secure a job, while young people prioritize passion, experience and opportunities for self-development.

Being 'forced' by their parents to study pedagogy, many candidates secretly hope their wishes will be rejected. (Illustration photo)

In 2024, Pedagogy is one of the four majors with the strongest increase in the number of candidates registering, up to 85% compared to the previous year. This increase comes from a series of preferential policies: free tuition, living expenses support and job opportunity commitment. In particular, when the Law on Teachers takes effect from January 1, 2026, teachers' salaries will be ranked at the highest level in the administrative career salary scale system, further increasing the "attractiveness" of the profession.

"The benefits and stable prospects of the teaching profession sometimes unintentionally become pressure. Many parents, believing that this is the safest path, have forced their children to pursue a career in education without considering their interests, personalities or real abilities," said Ms. Van.

According to Ms. Van, the pressure of choosing the wrong career, especially in the field of Pedagogy, can lead to long-term consequences: students lose interest in studying, drop out halfway, or try to graduate but work in a state of fatigue and depression. More dangerously, when teachers cannot maintain their passion and positive energy, the quality of education will be affected, and the biggest disadvantage belongs to the students - the young buds who are looking forward to the guidance of teachers.

Parents need to listen to and respect their children’s career choices, creating conditions for them to pursue their favorite and suitable fields. Family support is the key factor for children to maintain their passion, develop their abilities and stick with their career for a long time.

“Competence is a necessary condition, but passion and suitability are sufficient conditions to stick with and succeed in the profession. Lacking one of these three factors, a career path can easily fall into a deadlock, even if the profession is very 'hot' or considered stable," Ms. Van emphasized.

Libra

Source: https://vtcnews.vn/cha-me-chon-ho-hoc-su-pham-con-am-tham-mong-truot-nguyen-vong-ar959837.html