Unique Thai wedding customs in Thanh Hoa province.

(Baothanhhoa.vn) - "A grown son takes a wife, a grown daughter gets married," this simple yet profound proverb marks an important milestone in a person's life. When sons and daughters reach adulthood, it's time to begin the journey of building their own family. For the Thai people of Thanh Hoa, a wedding is not only a momentous event for the couple, but also a cultural festival, where customs, beliefs, music, and traditional arts, preserved through generations, intertwine.

Putting a hat on a daughter before she goes to her husband's home is an indispensable ritual in traditional Thai weddings.

Muong Le – the old name of Trung Thanh commune – has long been known as the cultural cradle of the Black Thai people. After the administrative merger, Trung Thanh commune has nearly 9,000 inhabitants, of which over 75% are Black Thai. Through centuries of establishing villages and communities, the Black Thai people here have maintained their pride in their ethnic cultural identity. At the same time, they always preserve beautiful customs and rituals rich in tradition, including traditional wedding ceremonies.

Driven by a desire to learn about the preserved beauty of Thai wedding customs, we visited Phai village during a traditional wedding ceremony that was being revived. Amidst the peaceful mountain scenery, the melodious sounds of the khap, khen, and gongs blended with the vibrant colors of the brocade fabrics, recreating a sacred ritual rich in highland culture. According to Ms. Ha Thi Thoan, an expert on Thai ethnic culture in Trung Thanh commune, marriage among the Thai people always begins with the sincere feelings of the couple. When love blossoms, the young man informs his parents to find a matchmaker to propose marriage. Previously, a traditional wedding ceremony had to go through at least six procedures, including pay loong khoam (engagement ceremony), xoo po (request for marriage), ban doong (wedding discussion ceremony), kin doong (official wedding ceremony), ton po mo (bridal procession), and the return to the bride's house (pay khun hoi).

The engagement ceremony, the first meeting between the two families, is simple and cordial, without the need for dowry. If approved, the groom's family will invite a matchmaker (in Thai, ung xu, pa xu) to choose an auspicious date to formally ask for the bride's hand in marriage. The gifts at this time must include rice wine and betel nuts – symbols of commitment and sincerity. The opening remarks are usually presented in a highly symbolic way by the matchmaker: "Our eldest son has fallen in love with your filial and beautiful daughter. If you don't mind our humble circumstances, we would like to welcome your daughter as our daughter-in-law. She will be like a spring at the source, bringing water to the fields, diligently tilling the land, building houses, and taking care of the family..." If they sense sincerity, the bride's family will agree, and both sides will discuss the wedding date, the number of guests, the gifts, and the specific responsibilities for the engagement and wedding ceremonies.

On the wedding day, the groom's procession usually includes the matchmaker as the head of the group, the groom and best man, the groom's mother, and relatives and friends. Around eight pairs of young men and women carry the wedding gifts. The wedding items are meticulously prepared, including a four-handled copper pot (mỏ toong xi hú), a pig, a pair of roosters and hens, a pair of rice wine bottles, bamboo tubes filled with sour fish, and traditional gifts such as four rolls of brocade fabric, a traditional dress for the mother-in-law, silver bracelets for the bride's brothers, a large cloth for wrapping the bride's belongings, and a dress and bracelet for the bride.

As the wedding procession reached the foot of the stilt house's steps, the matchmaker chanted a folk song, asking to be let in: "Is anyone home? May I speak to you? Guests from afar have arrived, their hearts filled with longing. Host, please give us a cup of water, to ease our homesickness and warm our hearts." The bride's family responded skillfully with figurative and charming folk songs: "Distant in-laws have arrived, and I haven't had time to greet them. Swallows chirp in the forest, and owls urge me to return immediately." These folk songs, half like songs and half like poetic dialogue, added to the solemn yet intimate atmosphere of the wedding ceremony. Any awkwardness or unfamiliarity between the two families gradually faded away amidst laughter, music, and warm agreement.

Throughout the ceremony, the sounds of drums, gongs, flutes, and other percussion instruments, along with the melodious love songs, filled the air. As the sun rose, the bride was officially escorted to her husband's home. Before parting ways, the groom's family received the dowry, consisting of six blankets, six pillows, six cushions, and a black curtain (pởi chớ) – symbolizing the completeness of a Thai woman when she goes to her husband's home. During the exchange ceremony, representatives from the bride's family engaged in a riddle contest. If the groom's family answered correctly, they received the gifts; if they answered incorrectly, they were punished with a cup of wine. The men and women carrying the gifts also had soot smeared on their cheeks – a custom believed to ward off evil spirits and bring peace.

Amidst the traditional wooden floor, the elderly mother sang a farewell song to her daughter, her words filled with maternal love. Not only did the song advise her daughter on her duties as a daughter-in-law, but it also conveyed a message to her husband's family, hoping for their understanding during her daughter's initial awkwardness: "Though poor, our love remains strong / My dowry is meager, I don't expect silver or gold / Please guide me with kindness / Teach me to be virtuous and to be a good person."

Upon ascending the stairs to the groom's house, the bride must remove her hat and perform a foot-washing ceremony, showing respect and informing the ancestors about the new member of the family. She bows before the ancestral altar, while the matchmaker offers a tray of offerings including a pig's head, wine, and sticky rice cakes, informing them that from now on, this girl is the official daughter-in-law of the family, and asking for the blessings of the ancestors. Next, the bride is introduced to her husband's relatives. Each relative gives wedding gifts such as bracelets, embroidered scarves, traditional blouses, hairpins, etc. After receiving them, the bride bows three times in gratitude, promising to fulfill her duties as a wife and daughter, and to maintain family happiness.

An interesting detail is that after the wedding, the bridesmaids stay with the bride for three days and three nights, while the groom is not yet allowed to be intimate with his wife. The bridal bed must be occupied by a person considered fertile and lucky in the family to pass on good fortune to the young couple. On the fourth day, the newlyweds, along with their parents, go to the bride's house for the "returning to the bride's family" ceremony. From this point on, the husband is officially allowed to visit and fulfill his duties as a son-in-law.

Today, with the pace of modern life and the policy of building a new cultural life, Thai weddings in Trung Thanh commune have simplified many procedures and are shorter in duration. However, the core values ​​of etiquette, dowry, songs, ancestor worship rituals, and community bonding are still cherished and preserved. For the Thai people, wedding ceremonies are where the soul of their national culture converges, where the love between a couple blends with moral principles, and where family, lineage, and community bonds are strengthened. Preserving and promoting this beauty means preserving a part of the cultural essence of the mountainous region in the heart of Thanh Hoa province today.

Text and photos: Ba Phuong

Source: https://baothanhhoa.vn/doc-dao-dam-cuoi-nguoi-thai-xu-thanh-259329.htm