When we got married, my husband and I both worked for a local private company. Day after day, we often quarreled over trivial matters in life. Under such circumstances, not only did our feelings gradually fade, but we also felt uncomfortable when we saw each other, and eventually developed the habit of sleeping in separate rooms.
During the time we shared our bedroom, I had the intention of getting a divorce. However, because we could not accept the fact that our children were growing up in a broken family, my husband and I had to try our best to restrain ourselves and live together. We communicated very briefly, without any sharing or sympathy. However, maintaining this situation was not easy. I felt very heavy, life was a difficult endurance.
Just when I was on the verge of collapse, my husband was fired from his job. After many discussions, he decided to go elsewhere to work.
Hearing my husband talk about his plans to expand his business in another city, I did not feel sad or regretful. On the contrary, I was secretly happy and thought that perhaps our relationship would improve when we spent less time together and more time apart.
I find life so enjoyable since my husband works far away. (Illustration: Istock)
It was true. After my husband went to work far away, I received many benefits. First, life became peaceful and quiet. Second, every time my husband talked on the phone, I felt his care and love for his wife and children. Third, when my husband occasionally came home, we could sleep in the same bed and have sex.
Fourth, my husband sent home more money every month than before. Fifth, my mood became more and more stable, I felt happy when talking about my husband, to the point that I gave up the idea of divorce. Sometimes I still miss him and wish he would come back.
Many people sympathize with me because I am middle-aged and my husband works far away, making me lonely and alone. They do not understand that I enjoy this life very much, with my husband and I living in separate places.
In fact, during our relationship, we were quite compatible. Since we got married, my personality has become increasingly strong, while my husband has become increasingly impatient with me, causing the relationship to reach a dead end. The important thing is that neither of us has consciously tried to fix the shortcomings in our marriage, causing the situation to get worse. Now that we don't see each other as often, conflicts have also decreased. This may be the effect I want.
Currently, my husband maintains a frequency of coming home once every three months, each time only for about 2-3 days. Every time we meet, although there are still conflicts between us over trivial matters, we both have this thought: Husband and wife rarely see each other, we should not be too critical, calculating, nitpicking and arguing. Just like that, our tolerance for each other increases; our family life is also harmonious and peaceful.
Thinking about my current married life, I realized that when we reach middle age, if we can give each other more freedom, it will be a good medicine to strengthen the love and attachment between husband and wife.
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