Why is divorce concentrated in big cities?

According to the mid-term population and housing census report 2024 of the General Statistics Office just announced, Ho Chi Minh City has the highest divorce and separation rate in the country with 263,000 people, followed by Hanoi with more than 146,000 people.

The divorce rate among young people is increasing in Vietnam - Photo: QUANG DINH

Why is the divorce and separation rate concentrated in the most populous cities in the country, where education levels are high?

The time of… hasty divorce

Ms. T. (38 years old, Ho Chi Minh City) shared that she and her husband are the same age and got married right after finishing university.

After 3 years, the couple had two daughters. They thought their married life would be happy forever, but the pressures of life, raising children, and rising living expenses made it impossible for them to share.

At the climax, Ms. T's husband lost his job for a long time, leading to increasingly large conflicts with no end in sight.

"The longer we live together, the more we discover that we have many incompatibility points, from eating to caring for and raising children.

Especially when the husband is unemployed, living expenses and house payments constantly weigh on his shoulders, the financial burden leads to conflicts and divorce," said Ms. T.

According to Ms. T., family economic pressure is the key to the breakdown of marriages not only in her family but also in many of her acquaintances. When economic pressure weighs heavily on one person, it is very difficult to bear, especially in big cities where education, housing, and living expenses are expensive.

Ms. H. Ngoc (40 years old, Hanoi) has been divorced for 5 years. Ms. Ngoc said that modern life has many problems arising in family and marriage. It is not only an economic problem but also the disconnection between husband and wife that gradually causes the relationship to fall into the "abyss".

"Both my husband and I are office workers, our lives, finances, and children are all considered ideal models. However, everyone has their own ideals about work, family meals are less frequent, and family stories only revolve around the children's studies.

Gradually, both of them felt suffocated by life and no longer had feelings for each other. My husband also developed feelings outside and eventually had to stop his marriage," Ngoc confided.

Why is the divorce rate high?

In 2024, the proportion of widows and divorced people nationwide will increase by about 1.3 percentage points, equivalent to an increase of about 1.3 million people.

According to statistics, the divorce rate differs by gender, the "divorce" status of women is always found to be higher than that of men for all observed age groups. Nationwide, the proportion of the widowed and divorced population accounts for 9.3% of the population aged 15 and over.

Statistics from the Institute for Family and Gender Studies also show many different causes leading to the marriage crisis.

Of these, 27.7% are lifestyle conflicts, 25.9% are due to infidelity, economic factors account for 13%, domestic violence accounts for 6.7%, health accounts for 2.2% and living apart for many days accounts for 1.3%.

All of the above crises lead to divorce when a solution cannot be found.

Speaking with Tuoi Tre, Dr. Pham Thi Thuy, a psychologist and lecturer at the Ho Chi Minh City National Academy of Public Administration, said that the current high divorce rate is partly due to work and economic pressure.

Typically, when the cost of living is getting higher, couples have to work more, leading to a lack of time to take care of their family. The relationship between husband and wife is seriously affected when there is no time for each other, the quality of marriage decreases.

In addition, the development of technology and social networks also contributes to the high divorce rate. Many people often prioritize spending too much time on their phones and on social networks, instead of caring for their families. Therefore, making the bond between husband and wife difficult to maintain.

According to psychologist Nguyen Ngoc Hoang, member of the Vietnam Psychology Association, the first reason young couples divorce is because they lack life skills.

They enter married life at a very young age, without psychological and economic preparation and the necessary knowledge for family life.

Young people still overemphasize their ego and pay little attention to their husband or wife, causing most young couples to have conflicts right from the first months and years of marriage.

Second, due to economic difficulties, unstable jobs, uncertain income, and early childbirth, couples often have conflicts and cannot focus on consensus to build family economy and raise children.

There are some other reasons such as: backward thinking; problems of domestic violence, social evils; discord between husband and wife, frequent conflicts...

To preserve the family, Dr. Thuy believes that each individual needs to balance work, marriage and family, especially respecting the value of family for social development.

Couples should think carefully and find solutions instead of rushing into divorce. If necessary, see a marriage counselor.

Young people prioritize career and personal freedom

According to Dr. Nguyen Thi Hoai Huong, Ho Chi Minh City Institute for Development Studies, the divorce/separation rate in Ho Chi Minh City has increased significantly over the past 10 years (from 170,000 people in 2010 to more than 257,000 people in 2020).

This reflects changes in attitudes towards marriage and the implementation and advocacy of family policies or changes in divorce policies.

In recent years, although the number of households has increased, household size has decreased, which shows an increasing trend of single-person and small households.

Reflecting changing social perceptions of marriage and family, as many young people today increasingly prioritize careers and personal freedom.

From 2010 to 2024, the explosion of science and technology, along with urbanization and globalization, has created diversity in family structures. Single-parent models, same-sex families and other forms are becoming increasingly popular.

Think of the children when deciding to divorce

According to Dr. Hoang Trung Hoc - Academy of Educational Management, parental divorce can cause many serious consequences for children's psychological development.

According to Amato's research, children from divorced families often experience depression and anxiety, leading to serious psychological problems.

From the perspective of parents, divorce should only be thought of as a last resort in resolving conflicts, because divorce in any circumstance will have negative consequences for children.

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Source: https://tuoitre.vn/vi-sao-ly-hon-tap-trung-o-thanh-pho-lon-20250405101422427.htm