Pressure of being the 'first born grandson, all the siblings around are good'

Ms. Nguyen Quynh Thanh Mai, Deputy Head of School Counseling Department, Viet My Kindergarten, Primary - Secondary - High School (VA Schools), shared this in front of many teachers and parents of students, in the program this morning, May 17, related to school psychology, student pressure that just took place at the school, Tan Binh District campus, Ho Chi Minh City.

School counseling experts share at the event on the morning of May 17

PHOTO: THUY HANG

Students face a lot of pressure

Ms. Thanh Mai said in the letter that the former student thanked her for helping him overcome many difficulties. He said that during his time in 10th and 11th grade, he was under a lot of pressure because he was the "only grandson". Besides, he was born into a family where his grandparents, parents, siblings... all had achievements, so he worried about himself. Meanwhile, according to Ms. Thanh Mai, he was a good student in many subjects, and was also the President of the school's student council.

"Sometimes, for young children, on their journey to adulthood, there will be times when they feel extremely anxious and find it difficult to share, even with their relatives. Therefore, if in those difficult times, teachers and school counselors accompany them at the right time, they will be more steadfast," said Ms. Nguyen Quynh Thanh Mai.

However, Ms. Thanh Mai affirmed that the school counseling room cannot replace the parents and families of students. But the school counseling room can show children safety, trust, and share difficult things. From there, children will understand themselves better and grow up more firmly. "The school counseling room is a bridge between parents and children, so that both sides can understand each other better, solve many psychological problems, and support children's learning," Ms. Thanh Mai shared.

Ms. Phoenix Ho (right) chats with parents on the sidelines of the event this morning.

PHOTO: THUY HANG

Ms. Phoenix Ho, Head of School Counseling Department of Viet My Kindergarten - Primary - Secondary - High School, who has nearly 20 years of experience in the field of school counseling, including a period of time working in San Jose, USA, shared at the event remarkable figures on the mental health of students.

In particular, a study by UNICEF Vietnam (2022) shows that about 15% - 30% of Vietnamese adolescents experience mental health problems. According to the American Psychiatric Association, 50% of mental health problems begin around the age of 14.

Meanwhile, under 14 years old and from 15-24 years old is the golden period to explore children's interests and develop their skills , helping teenagers develop their potential, the foundation for career development.

A survey of 3,320 high school students conducted by Huong Nghiep Song An in Vietnam (2024) showed that the top factors influencing students' decisions on choosing a major are personal interests (87.82%), job opportunities (80.56%). However, in reality, many students confided that they are also under a lot of pressure from their families, their parents' wishes, pressure to succeed... when choosing a career and future job.

Why do I have to go to school? I can study at home.

Asking questions to experts at the program, a parent named Nha said: "My child is in 5th grade, about to go to 6th grade, he often asks me 'Why do I have to go to school every day, I can study at home' even though he is not a bad student. What should I say?"

Ms. Le Thanh Thuy Truc is a graduate student in Australia, providing online consultation to parents at the program.

PHOTO: THUY HANG

Ms. Le Thanh Thuy Truc, a counselor at the school's counseling department, is studying for a master's degree in counseling and psychotherapy at the University of Adelaide (Australia) on an Australian government scholarship; and a bachelor's degree in psychology at the University of Social Sciences and Humanities (Vietnam National University, Ho Chi Minh City), believes that all children's emotions need to be acknowledged and respected. Parents should consider this an opportunity to listen and talk with their children.

A parent wondered: "I have a child in grade 11, but he studies all subjects equally, and it's not clear what he likes. So how can I guide him in his future career?"

Ms. Nguyen Quynh Thanh Mai advises that in this case, parents should let their students participate in more extracurricular activities. At the same time, parents should not ask their children if they like this or that, but should ask them which activities they like the most. In the programs they have participated in, what role or position they like the most, from there to dig deeper into their strengths.

Ms. Le Thanh Thuy Truc believes that at the age of 18-20, young people may like a little bit of everything, and not know their specific passion, but that is not a serious problem. Young people really need parents to be patient with their children, more open with them, to accompany their children's development journey...

Source: https://thanhnien.vn/ap-luc-vi-la-chau-dich-ton-anh-chi-em-xung-quanh-ai-cung-gioi-185250517122805015.htm