Every month I send my mother-in-law 15 million for food but it's not enough for every meal. There are 7 people in the family but I can only buy 3 chicken wings for 2 meals.

I can't help but wonder, where did all that money go?

Married life is full of challenges and difficulties, not only between the two spouses but also between them and their extended family members. Among them, the relationship with the mother-in-law is one of the most complicated relationships, full of emotions and misunderstandings.

Everyone understands that the closer you are to each other and the more you interact, the more likely conflicts will arise, but unfortunately, newlyweds, not to mention financial issues, have too many reasons to prevent them from living separately. My current situation is not much better.

My husband and I are not in financial difficulty but we are not rich either. Currently, we are still trying to save up to buy our own home.

However, the main reason why my husband and I have not been able to move out is because my mother-in-law always has a negative reaction to this issue.

I understand that when living together, there will be all kinds of extremely difficult problems that arise, but what worries me the most is conflicts related to economic issues. And of course, it happened and I didn't know how to handle it.

Every month, I give my mother-in-law 15 million for food. My family consists of only my husband, my wife, and our 5-year-old son. Although everyone says that 15 million for food is too much, I still give that amount of money regularly every month with the hope that it will help her feel more comfortable in preparing delicious meals for the family. That is my way of showing gratitude and respect to the person who gave birth to and raised my life partner.

But then, life did not go the way I expected. Perhaps the more reasonable I became, the more I received from my husband's family, not respect and love, but days of patience and endurance, but to them, it was still not worth caring about.

There are currently 7 people in the house, my husband's parents, my husband and I, my youngest aunt and her husband, and my little son. My youngest aunt's family is staying here temporarily because they are building a house. My brother-in-law is also very thoughtful. Since the couple moved here, they have been giving my mother 7 million VND for food every month, but they only eat dinner. She proactively asks me to contribute to the electricity, water, and other living expenses, but I always ignore her. What kind of decency would it be to ask her to share just a few coins?

So, for the past six months, my mother-in-law has received 22 million VND for food each month, and my husband and I have to pay for all other expenses. However, every meal makes me feel disappointed. The food is so scarce that the whole family is always hungry, and we have to go out to eat at night or else we can't sleep. I don't ask for any delicacies, I just need enough to eat and be full. I work all day, and even if I don't have enough to eat for dinner to replenish my energy, how can we work to earn money? Not to mention my children are still growing up, how can they develop without enough nutrition?

Even for me, pork and chicken are fine every day, but the quantity has to be sufficient. But my mother-in-law goes to the market every morning, one day she buys 500g of pork, the next day she buys 10 eggs from industrial chickens. One day she went to the market and bought 3 chicken wings for a family of 7 to eat for 2 meals.

Because there was so little food, she deliberately cooked it very salty so that she could eat more rice. That is, my mother-in-law knew that the amount of food was not enough for the whole family, but instead of buying more, she saved money by cooking it too salty so that the whole family could eat more rice and save food.

I asked her tactfully if the money my brother-in-law and I gave her was enough, but she ignored me and didn't bother to answer. So I had to frankly "ask" her to buy more food, but she always said "yes" but never bought anything more, and even tried to intimidate me by buying less than usual.

Every time I seriously mentioned this issue, my mother-in-law felt offended, she considered it an insult to her ability to spend and manage the family. She became noisy, irritable, and many times, the arguments started from my own questions.

Perhaps in her eyes, I not only question her spending habits but also underestimate her obligations and responsibilities to her family. But her money management is indeed a problem!

I realized that sometimes keeping my concerns and questions to myself might be the best way to maintain family harmony. But that didn’t mean I should accept an unreasonable situation. I needed to find a more tactful way to express my concerns without hurting her feelings.

Should I get involved in the cooking myself, or suggest organizing shopping trips together to better understand how she manages money? Or perhaps I should have an honest and open conversation, not only to express my concerns, but also to listen to what my mother-in-law has to say.

But no matter how much I tried, nothing worked. My mother-in-law was always so stubborn. Whenever I tried something, she would jump up. Should I just put up with her and let the whole family starve like this forever?

Finally, I realized that sometimes, silence and patience do not bring any benefits when the other person is deliberately not receptive and not cooperative. So I decided that I would be the one to go to the market to buy food every week. Every month, instead of giving my mother-in-law 15 million for food, I only give her 3 million, and I take care of the rest of the food myself.

The first month, my mother-in-law was visibly upset. By the second month, she asked us to give her the money as before or else she would "invite" us to rent a house outside. Maybe my mother-in-law thought we would be scared and give in, but unexpectedly, her son agreed quickly. My husband and I are almost done moving, but my mother-in-law curses us every day. I don't care, I can't live to please others forever.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/moi-thang-gui-me-chong-15-trieu-tien-an-nhung-bua-nao-cung-leo-teo-khong-du-an-nha-7-nguoi-nhung-chi-mua-3-cai-canh-ga-an-2-bua-17224113019084932.htm