Disgusted with the scene of opening the tray to count gold coins right at the engagement ceremony

The dowry is an old custom. In today's era, it should be abandoned. Marriage is based on true, faithful, and lasting love, not on the amount of dowry.

Be careful of debt because borrowing money is a ritual.

Don't think that by trying to get a gold tree and tens of millions to present as a gift, the bride's family will be proud in front of everyone. Then tell yourself that after receiving the gift, the bride's parents will send it back to them, so there's nothing to lose.

Each family's economic situation is different. It is not appropriate to set the dowry as such. There is no rule that the bride's family must give the daughter all the dowry they received from the groom's family. If the bride's family does not give or only gives a portion, it is not to be blamed. At that time, if it is borrowed money and gold, is it considered a debt?

I have experience in being invited to be the head of many weddings. If both families have no difficulties and agree on the dowry, then there is no need to discuss. In case the groom's family is not able to follow the bride's family's wishes, we will discuss so that the wedding is still happy and meaningful without creating a burden for each other.

The bride should understand that marriage is about building a future life together, and cannot be valued in money or gold as passed down through tradition.

A wedding gift that is not as desired by the family cannot express the precious feelings that ensure a long-lasting marriage.

The presentation part, which we often call nap tai, is often announced during the ceremony, so because of pride and not daring to step out of old customs, the bride's family is forced to give a specific amount of money for the groom's family to present.

Some families, after announcing the gifts they will give to the bride, immediately open the gift box for everyone to see as agreed. The money is displayed piece by piece to see if it matches what was said. Then the gold is also visually assessed by relatives to see if it is the exact amount that the bride's family asked for. Praise and criticism also come from here.

The bride price and the dowry should only be a formality.

I have suggested and received approval from the families to change some details in the wedding ceremony. That is, the dou tai part only carries out the ceremony of giving and receiving red envelopes but does not specifically announce the amount of money and gold to everyone. This content is only limited to reporting to the parents of both sides.

There were also comments from guests who wanted to know specifically how much gold the groom's family brought, and whether it was in accordance with custom or not. I gently avoided answering directly, asking the family to inform me later, because there were many unexpected factors. The same was true for the jewelry gift, I did not specifically state the value of each item, but only gave a general statement.

With this way of conducting the ceremony, I realized that both families were happy and did not have to worry about the gossip of relatives and guests. After all, the marriage was their child's, there was no need to report or ask anyone's opinion.

Raising children to adulthood, getting married, no amount of money can compare to the dowry, it must be a gold tree, tens of millions.

Thirty million or three hundred million cannot be the measure of happiness for a young couple, and certainly cannot be the standard value for determining a long-lasting marriage. Reality shows that many marriages fail despite the large amount of gold and silver used in the wedding ceremony. And many marriages last even though the gifts are only modest.

It is best for both parties to sit down together and discuss the steps carefully in a spirit of understanding, civility, empathy, and sharing with each other to create a long-lasting happy life for their children. The boy and girl also need to raise their awareness of married life, understanding that money is necessary but it is not the absolute key to long-term happiness.

The dowry is a bad custom and should be abolished.

Both sides must abandon their pride.

What do you think about the "black ceremony" that can cost up to tens of millions of dong when asking for a wife? Do you have any stories about similar wedding customs?

In your opinion, should we get married when our finances are not stable, or how much should we save before getting married? Please share your opinion in the Comment box below the article, or send an email to [email protected] . Tuoi Tre Online thanks you.

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