Harvard researcher reveals 4 secrets of parents with confident, capable daughters

Many parents are used to praising their daughters for being “cute” or “adorable,” not realizing that these words can unintentionally create gender stereotypes. Parents whose daughters are confident and likely to succeed in the future often share four other secrets.

Many studies show that confidence is a key factor in determining future success, because when children believe in their abilities, they will be motivated to proactively learn and strive to achieve positive results.

However, not all parents know how to nurture their children’s confidence – especially girls – as they are often under greater pressure to be “perfect”. It is the fear of failure that makes them easily lose confidence in themselves.

According to a LEGO Group survey of more than 60,000 parents and children aged 5-12, many girls said they felt pressure to be perfect and felt adults were more likely to listen to boys' ideas.

Encouraging children to be creative helps them become more confident, because when they experiment and take risks, they learn to believe in themselves. “When children are afraid of failure, they are less likely to experiment and think creatively,” says education researcher Jennifer Wallace, a graduate of Harvard University.

According to Wallace, parents can help their daughters become more confident by simply changing the words they use and the way they praise. Here are four of her suggestions for raising confident, self-assured girls.

Girls whose parents encourage them to be creative and dare to experiment will easily increase their self-confidence. Illustration: Pham Trong Tung

1. Don't overemphasize perfection - praise effort and process

Parents should help ease the pressures girls often face, says Wallace.

“Many children feel they have to be perfect because of social or cultural influences. But just by changing the way adults talk, they can make children feel more comfortable,” she shared.

In creative activities—where outcomes are often subjective—focus praise on details or process: “I like how you chose that color!”

According to psychologist Francyne Zeltser, when parents praise effort instead of just results, children learn that it's important to try your best — not always to be perfect.

This helps children stay motivated to learn and work, even when the results are not as expected.

2. Turn failure into a learning opportunity

According to CNBC Make It , teaching children to see mistakes as part of the learning process will help them not fear failure, stay positive and be ready for new challenges.

Children who dare to try and make mistakes and take risks are often more resilient and more likely to succeed later in life.

Wallace advises parents to be open about their own mistakes, and tell their children how they learned from them.

“A growth mindset means believing that people can improve through effort and perseverance, not just through innate talent. When children have this mindset, they will easily bounce back from failure, love learning and be willing to try new things, no matter how difficult,” she said.

3. Be careful with your word choice - avoid gender stereotypes

“Parents should be mindful of gender bias in language, especially when talking about their daughters’ creative output,” Wallace stressed.

Many parents may not realize that words like “cute” or “adorable” are often used to describe girls’ products, while boys are praised with words like “cool,” “bold,” or “genius.”

According to the survey, these seemingly harmless words unintentionally reinforce gender stereotypes, causing girls to narrow their interests and hesitate when pursuing creative fields or science and technology .

The US National Science Foundation (NSF) also warns that language bias can affect gender diversity in creative industries and STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics).

4. Introduce your child to inspirational role models

Wallace encourages parents to talk to their children about inspirational female role models, especially those who are successful in traditionally male-dominated fields, like film directors or female tech executives.

These role models can be celebrities, friends, or family members, as long as their achievements send the message that “Anyone can do great things.”

Parents should also set an example by playing, talking, and sharing their creative inspirations with their children.

“Children learn best by watching adults. When parents demonstrate curiosity, creativity and confidence, children will naturally follow suit,” said researcher Wallace.

In short, raising confident daughters is not just about praise or encouragement. It is about how parents choose their words, respond to failure, and set an example in everyday life. These little things can create strong, confident, and happy girls.

Source: https://vietnamnet.vn/nha-nghien-cuu-harvard-tiet-lo-4-bi-mat-cua-bo-me-co-con-gai-tu-tin-ban-linh-2453755.html