Emotionally cold, uncommunicative, unwilling to continue working things out
Ms. Shi, 61 years old, married for 35 years
I got divorced when I was 60. In fact, I struggled with this marriage countless times, but in the end I decided to get a divorce. On the one hand, I was retired and no longer had to worry about people's gossip at work. On the other hand, my daughter was already married, and the divorce would not affect her ability to find a partner.
We have been apart for almost 5 years. At first, because he snored and it affected my rest, we did not sleep together. During the day, we talked very little to each other, and when we got home at night, we went about our own business. Even when I wanted to say something, his reaction was often very cold.
In the decades before his retirement, he rarely helped me with the housework and the children. According to him, these were things women should do. He often came home late, went out drinking and played cards with his friends.
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Women after retirement all want their husbands to talk and care for each other. This is called old friendship. But the habit formed over the years is that we each do our own thing. We are like two parallel lines, not bothering each other. What is the meaning of this kind of marriage?
Sometimes the relationship between the two parties cannot be cultivated in a short time, it is difficult to improve the thinking and living habits that have been formed over many years. Instead of doing this, it is better for everyone to separate and find their own happiness. Although it is difficult for the elderly to remarry, it is still much better than maintaining the original marriage.
Life is short, I want to stop torturing myself and live my life the way I want.
Mrs. Ly, 65 years old, married for 40 years
In fact, for the elderly, as they get older, the most precious thing is that the remaining time of their lives is getting shorter and shorter, and every day they spend today is the best day of their remaining lives. As women, everyone hopes that in their later years they will have a companion who knows how to care for each other, this is the only comfort in old age.
However, my husband has a hot temper. Although he often got angry when he was young, he always showed that he was reasonable. But as he got older, his personality became more and more extreme.
Compared to many families around us, our conditions are not good. Moreover, both husband and wife are old, often go to the doctor and buy medicine, so the husband also has financial difficulties.
We have been married for 40 years, he has never helped me with any household expenses. I have to pay all the monthly bills by myself.
This kind of married life makes it hard for me to believe that I can still rely on him when I am old. Our son, who is over 30, does not object to our divorce, so we split the family property in two and filed for divorce.
After the divorce, because of my low salary, I planned to collect scrap in the community and sell it instead of staying at home doing nothing. So, even though I am over sixty years old, I still do not want to do wrong and can live the way I want.
As for whether or not to remarry in the future, let's just let things take their natural course and live the way we feel comfortable.
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Don't want to live in a stagnant marriage and want to find true love
Ms. Yuan, 63 years old, married for 39 years
In the eyes of everyone around me, my marriage should be very happy. I have a good job and my husband does most of the housework. I am a happy woman in the eyes of others. In reality, only the parties involved know whether the marriage is happy or not.
I have a good relationship with my boss and colleagues around me, I have good working ability, enthusiasm and kindness. My husband has low education, does not like to communicate with others, and does not have many ambitions.
I married him because he was very good to me. When we were in love, he would prepare meals for me in advance after work every day. He was also very diligent at home and took good care of me. I was a person who lacked love, his behavior touched me. Even though my family did not agree, I still insisted on marrying him.
But later, I found myself misunderstanding him, he did not like to communicate with people and had little ambition. This was not due to his nature but because of his inner selfishness.
In his opinion, no matter how much work he did in his own home, he would not suffer any loss. His mentality directly led to his unwillingness to take on more work at the office. After many years of working, he was still an ordinary employee.
For so many years he never bought me a gift. Sometimes when I bought myself a nice outfit or expensive cosmetics, he would nag me for a long time, thinking that I shouldn't spend money. This really made me feel sad.
I saw some older colleagues at my old workplace who had found their spouses again after divorce and their lives were very happy. I believe that at any age, it is possible to find love, find a life partner who shares the same views and cares for each other.
As people get older, they understand the value of life more and less willing to settle down on their own. Nowadays, many couples divorce as soon as their children finish college, causing a fever of “divorce after college”, many people also divorce after retirement, and the phenomenon of “divorce after retirement” is also very common.
Whatever the divorce, it reflects that today's elderly are no longer willing to settle down in a loveless marriage. They want to find their true selves. This must be the progress of society and the awakening of humanity.
Older people are often more determined than younger people when it comes to divorce. The cause of divorce is often not issues like cheating or domestic violence, but rather long-term indifference, lack of communication, and disagreements.
However, after divorce, the elderly often live a very lonely life, if they remarry, many problems will arise and remarriage is even more difficult than divorce. Therefore, for the elderly who want to divorce, it is best to think carefully before making a decision.
-> Divorce in "late afternoon", should or not?
T. Linh
Source: https://giadinhonline.vn/vi-sao-phu-nu-ngoai-60-thuong-chu-dong-ly-hon-d199179.html
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