When in love, we whisper, why do wives and mothers suddenly talk so much?

Ms. Minh Hang (District 7, Ho Chi Minh City) also realized that she is becoming more and more of a talkative person.

Honoring cultural, happy, and exemplary families in Ho Chi Minh City - Illustration photo: K.ANH

In a recent article "New discovery: Women only talk more than men when they are 25-65 years old", many readers commented that for many reasons, women are gentle and soft-spoken when in love, but after becoming wives and mothers, they become talkative.

"I also don't understand why I find myself talking more and more than before I got married. Especially after giving birth, the frequency of my talking has increased many times. There are so many things that I can't help but talk about. From raising children to nagging my husband, I talk a lot," Ms. Thu Ha (District 4, Ho Chi Minh City) shared.

Suddenly I feel... different

Ms. Thu Ha shared that she herself has felt the level and frequency of her talking since becoming a wife and mother.

"When in love, the stories of two people are mainly romantic topics, so how can they talk much? Or at that time, there is no opportunity to fully express each other's human nature. People often show the good and hide the bad, especially when in love. Who can show all their bad qualities?

"The reality of family life when having children, the pressure of making ends meet, how can it be as rosy as when we were in love," Ms. Thu Ha expressed.

She also said that since her grandmother helped take care of her first daughter for more than a month and had to return to her hometown, she and her husband had to take care of their child themselves, so from then on she felt like she was a bit… talkative.

"Taking care of a small child often means waking up at night, which affects both my mental and physical health. I also find myself changing and talking more than before because I have to take care of my child, sometimes even scolding because I can't control my emotions. When I'm not satisfied with my husband, I just say it out loud, I can't help it," she laughed.

As for Ms. Minh Hang (District 7, Ho Chi Minh City), she also realizes that she is becoming more and more of a talkative person.

"There is a husband who comes home from work and often plays games on his phone or watches the news, regardless of what my children and I want to do. We have two children born close together, and we often have to yell at each other because they fight over toys. Sometimes they even fight each other.

I also come home from work, pick up the kids and go to the kitchen. My husband is calm and does nothing. So why don't I get angry and say more?", Ms. Hang said.

Maintaining harmony in the family requires the efforts of both husband and wife. Illustration: family cooking contest - Photo: K.ANH

Where can I find her innocence and naivety of the past?

The pressure of family life and the struggle to make ends meet for two young children has made Ms. Hang admit that she has almost "lost her image" in the eyes of her husband and children, because there is not a day that she does not complain.

Mr. Thanh Tung, Ms. Hang's husband, also said that since having a child, his wife suddenly started talking too much, completely different from when they were still in love.

"I decided to just endure it, to reduce the tension in the family. Let her get bored and she will stop talking. If I just say a few words back, the conflict will escalate. Actually, the housework is not a big deal, but it is normal that work and time taking care of the children made me lose my gentle and sweet lover from the past," said Mr. Tung.

Recognizing the changes in herself, Ms. Thu Ha has found a way to balance her life by reading more books about raising children, seeing the joy in everything when playing and taking care of her children.

She also spends about half an hour a day exercising to make her body healthier. She learns to let go of things that don't go her way. Instead of complaining when her husband is engrossed in his phone, she asks him to play with the children and assigns him to help with housework, she cooks, cleans the house...

"There is a strong cross-cultural stereotype that women talk more than men. We wanted to test this assumption experimentally," said Colin Tidwell, a doctoral student in clinical psychology at the University of Arizona and co-lead author of the study, in the paper.

The study found that women between the ages of 25 and 65 spoke an average of 3,000 more words per day than men. This difference did not appear in other age groups such as adolescents (ages 10-17), emerging adults (ages 18-24), and seniors (ages 65 and over).

The new study analyzed 630,000 recordings from 22 separate studies conducted in four countries, involving 2,197 participants aged 10 to 94 — four times the number of people in the original study.

Researchers suggest this difference may be related to parenting, where women typically take on the primary caregiving role and have more verbal interactions with their children.

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/khi-yeu-tho-the-sao-lam-vo-lam-me-bong-nhien-nhieu-loi-20250205101637793.htm