The case of female student N. at Vinh University High School for the Gifted committing suicide due to suspicions of school violence is attracting public attention. The mother of this female student had reported to her teacher that the female student was afraid of being blocked and beaten. These are warning signs of bullying at school.
In addition, recently, many cases of students resolving conflicts with violence have been posted on social networks, raising the alarm about student behavior.
According to data recently released by the Ministry of Education and Training , in one school year, there were nearly 1,600 cases of student fighting nationwide, or about 5 cases per day. For every 5,200 students, there was one fight.
"Teach children to speak up properly instead of taking the hit"
Discussing this issue, Dr. Hoang Trung Hoc, School Psychology Expert, Head of the Department of Psychology -Education , Academy of Educational Management, said that conflicts between students are inevitable. However, recently, the problem of school violence has become worrying, considering the number of cases, the dangerous nature and the level of impact.
According to experts, one of the reasons why "perpetrators" tend to increase their bullying behavior is because of the weakness and passivity of the bullied person.
The victim's silence and passive endurance of violence is a negative response, encouraging the "perpetrator" to continue a new cycle of violence. The more silent the victim is, the less they dare to speak up or protest, the more likely the violence is to recur.
From there, physical and mental wounds are at risk of accumulating, causing unpredictable consequences.
Explaining the above reaction, Dr. Hoc said that part of the reason is due to the advice "forbearance is the best thing to do" that victims often receive when "calling for help".
"One patience is worth nine good things" is an ancient proverb emphasizing the spirit of harmony and tolerance to achieve harmonious relationships in life.
However, it needs to be understood and applied appropriately. Passive and silent suffering by victims of violence is a negative response that can escalate violent behavior.
In this case, silence is synonymous with tolerance and acceptance of escalating school violence. In this case, forbearance is not necessarily the best thing," Dr. Hoc said.
Experts agree that in social relationships, to have harmonious relationships, acceptance and tolerance of others are necessary.
However, in the case of school violence, if a student is continuously bullied without taking any action to "resist" and accept patience, the problem will become more and more serious.
Therefore, the "advice" for children or students to be patient is wrong, because it may unintentionally push the "victim" to the brink of suffering, despair and choose extreme methods to escape from the deadlocked situation.
Psychologist Hoang Trung Hoc (Photo: NVCC).
In the event that a child is a victim of school violence, according to Dr. Hoang Trung Hoc, parents need to calmly handle the situation and guide their children on how to respond.
The most important thing is not only to teach children how to escape the current violent situation, but also to help them know how to respond in other similar situations.
In addition, parents need to create conditions for children to freely express their opinions and personal feelings about the issues they are facing. Parents need to listen and not take lightly what children say. In particular, it is necessary to show children that their parents are always ready to be by their side so that they are not alone in any situation.
Mr. Hoc affirmed that parents need to pay attention to educating their children to understand that if they swing their fists at their friends, it is not the action of a "hero", but an act of violence that should be condemned. On the contrary, if they passively accept violent behavior, they will suffer unnecessary injuries.
The psychologist also clearly emphasized: "We do not approve of children using violence against others. We also do not encourage the use of violence to control violence, but we need to teach children how to respond positively. That is, knowing how to defend themselves, knowing how to speak up against violence instead of enduring and becoming victims."
School violence is the responsibility of the family, school and the whole society.
Although school violence is a "known, painful, and talked about issue", the answer to the question of who is responsible and what measures are needed to combat this problem still attracts public attention.
Victims of school violence can face both physical and mental health consequences (Illustration: Infobae.com).
Psychologist Dr. Hoang Trung Hoc said that school bullying is very difficult to end if society, schools and families have not agreed on a method of dialogue in education and building a healthy, cultural environment for students.
Because, anyone can become a victim of school violence.
For parents, it is important to recognize early signs of school violence in children in order to find timely solutions.
Bruises are not the only signs of school violence. Symptoms such as mood swings, fear of going to school, lack of concentration, and disturbed sleep are all clear "warnings" that parents need to pay attention to.
According to psychologists, children experiencing school violence is a regrettable thing that no one wants to happen, but instead of blaming, focusing on correcting mistakes should be given the most attention.
In particular, educating children to be aware of and behave appropriately in the face of school violence is a priority that parents need to do. This helps children avoid falling into negative situations on the one hand, and equips them with scientific and civilized ways to handle problems on the other hand.
Besides, parents also need to be close to their children to build a bond between parents and children, making children trust and consider their parents as a solid support in all situations, in the face of all difficulties.
"Parents are the ones who guide their children to say no to violence and respond appropriately to the risk of violence. More importantly, parents need to be role models for their children in civilized, non-violent behavior.
Together with parents, schools also need to actively promote a healthy school culture and successfully build happy schools. These are fundamental, long-term solutions to control school violence," the expert advised.
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