For Vietnamese people, etiquette is even more important than talent. The saying "First learn etiquette, then learn knowledge" perfectly illustrates this. Within that "etiquette," respecting teachers and elders is an inherent trait, a genetic code passed down through generations. And Tet (Vietnamese New Year) is one of the most important occasions for Vietnamese people to express this respect and reverence for their teachers.
"If you want to cross, build a bridge..."
In the old days, the teacher held a very high position. In the hierarchy of values "ruler - teacher - father," the teacher ranked above even the father, second only to the king. This was because people in the past believed that while parents gave us our physical form, food, and clothing, the teacher was the one who enlightened our minds, taught us the "way" to be a good person, and provided us with the "skill" to achieve personal success and prosperity. Without a teacher, a person would be like wild weeds, growing up without knowing etiquette, right from wrong, or understanding the vastness of the world.
"Visiting teachers on the third day of Tet" reflects the Vietnamese people's respect for their teachers.
PHOTO: DAO NGOC THACH
The saying "On the first day of Tet, visit your father; on the second day, visit your mother; on the third day, visit your teacher" originated from this. It's not simply a common saying; it represents a clear division of gratitude, a social order established by morality.
Day 1: We turn our thoughts to our paternal roots, where we bear our surname.
Day 2: We turn our thoughts to our maternal roots, the place where we were born.
Day 3: We turn our thoughts to those who have taught us and helped us become who we are.
Tet, in essence, is a time for reflection. To look back on the past year, and to reflect on whose hands have nurtured our lives.
I remember the stories my elders told me: in the old days, on the morning of the third day of the Lunar New Year, without anyone telling them what to do, the head of the class (called the "Head Student") would rally the other students. They would gather together and then walk in a long line to the teacher's house. Regardless of whether they were high-ranking officials or commoners, upon passing through the teacher's gate, everyone bowed their heads as humble students.
The offerings back then were very modest. "A small gift, but a sincere heart." Sometimes it was just a betel box, a gourd of wine, a pair of sticky rice cakes, or a kilogram of tea. Teachers in the old days didn't expect gold or silver. What they hoped for most was the growth and maturity of their students. Teacher and student would sit and discuss literature, then the teacher would bestow upon them the gift of calligraphy. The characters for "patience," "virtue," and "heart"... were brought home and hung in the house like treasures, a lesson to follow them throughout the year.
The beauty of the third day of the lunar month in the old days lay in its purity. No self-interest, no seeking grades, no lobbying. Only respectful reverence for knowledge and morality. The philosophy, "One word is a teacher, even half a word is a teacher," shaped the character of generations of Vietnamese scholars.
"The third day of Tet, a day to show gratitude to our teachers" is the day we express our appreciation.
Photo: Dao Ngoc Thach
Does respect for teachers and elders still exist?
But then, as time passed, society revolved around the struggle for survival, and the tradition of "Visiting the Teacher on the Third Day of Tet" seemed to be donning different garments. Some were the tight garment of calculation, others the stained garment of pragmatism.
When parents don't respect teachers, how can a child sincerely bow to them? When parents discuss teachers during meals with contempt, belittling their income and belittling their abilities in front of their children, the child will carry that disrespectful attitude to school. And then, we lament how rude children are these days, how morally declining they are. Could it be that this decline stems from the very lack of respect adults have for those who guide them through life?
Of course, there are corrupt teachers, but "one bad apple spoils the barrel" cannot be a reason for us to completely disregard the age-old principle of respecting teachers. If we lose faith in our teachers, it means we are losing faith in learning and knowledge.
Amidst this gloom, I still believe that each of us needs to be a brick in rebuilding the fortress of kindness. Don't wait for society to change; change from within your own home. Don't let children grow up with a distorted view of their teachers. Because ultimately, a society where teachers are not respected is a society that is cutting itself off from the path to civilization.
Be grateful to those who taught you, grateful to those who guided you, and grateful to life itself for giving you these lessons.
Photo: Dao Ngoc Thach
The third day of the Lunar New Year is 'Gratitude Day'.
"The third day of Tet, a day to honor teachers," is a day for us to express our gratitude.
It's not just the teachers who taught us in school; there are countless other mentors we've received throughout our lives. A "teacher" could be your first boss who scolded you harshly, who threw files at you to teach you about meticulousness and responsibility. A "teacher" could be an older sibling who reached out to help you up when you stumbled early in life, teaching you how to interact with others. A "teacher" could be a good book that changed your way of thinking, saving you from dark days. Even worse, "teachers" could be the adversities, the failures, the people who once treated you badly, because it was through them that you learned invaluable lessons, becoming stronger and more resilient.
There's a Vietnamese proverb that says, "Without a teacher, you can't achieve anything." The meaning of "achievement" is incredibly broad. It encompasses building a career, shaping one's character, and even personal growth. All of this is thanks to those who guide us. Therefore, on the third day of the lunar month, let's dedicate ourselves fully to practicing gratitude.
Parents should teach their children gratitude through concrete actions. On the morning of the third day of the Lunar New Year, instead of sleeping in, take your children to visit their parents' old teachers. Let them see that their parents – adults, successful, driving cars, using designer goods – still respectfully bow and greet an elderly retired teacher in a simple, one-story house.
Tell your children: "Thanks to the strict teacher in the past, Dad was able to pass the university entrance exam," "Thanks to the teacher who guided and taught, Mom was able to develop such beautiful handwriting and good character." That image, the parents' bowing to their teacher, is the most vivid and profound lesson in civic education that no school can teach. It plants a seed in the child's heart: No matter how talented a person is, they should never forget the gratitude they owe to those who taught them.
And if you can't visit in person due to distance, the 4.0 era allows us to connect more easily than ever before. A sincere message, a video call so that teacher and student can see each other's faces... that's enough for a perfect third day of Tet (Lunar New Year) for teachers.
The value of gratitude lies not in how the recipient feels, but in how rich the giver's soul feels. Psychology has proven that grateful people are happier, more optimistic, and more successful. The ancients also taught: "Remember the source when you drink water," "Remember the one who planted the tree when you eat the fruit." No one grows up naturally. We are the sum total of the people we have met and the lessons we have learned. Be grateful to those who have taught you, grateful to those who have guided you, and grateful to life itself for giving you these lessons.
When gratitude is awakened and practiced on the 3rd of the month, I believe that your 364 days of the year will be filled with kindness and good fortune. Because a grateful heart is a magnet, attracting only the best things.
Source: https://thanhnien.vn/mung-3-la-tet-biet-on-185260214121759479.htm
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