Sometimes my mother asked about her children's friends. Is Huong married yet? Is Hue doing well with IVF? Poor girl, beautiful and talented, but God punished her. Then one day my friend got good news after 3 IVF cycles. My mother sometimes called to ask if Hue was okay. It must be tiring to have twins, right? My mother also told me: "Remind your friend to rest and not work too hard." On the day my friend gave birth, my mother asked me to take her to visit her. My mother prepared chicken, some sweet corn, some black beans, all good for new mothers. While driving my mother on a long, long journey, I suddenly wondered who my mother's friends were? Why didn't my mother often talk about her friends? Or was it because I didn't care enough, only knowing how to receive unconditional love from my mother that spread to my friends.
For decades, I rarely saw my mother's friends come to visit. Since she got married, she had almost no friends left. Feeling poor made her not want to meet her friends. In the past, my mother was the village beauty queen, with white skin, curly hair, and a cute chubby face that attracted many young men. The hardship of raising 3 children from one drought season to another had made my mother so haggard that her friends could hardly recognize her when they met her. My mother was afraid of the pitying eyes of her friends, so she just stayed at home.
Old friends also have different fates. One of the two closest friends is in a wheelchair due to an accident, and her children and grandchildren took her to the South to take care of her. The other was tricked and sold across the border for decades and has not been in contact with her. Then one day, my mother called to tell me that her friend had just come to visit. Her voice was as happy as a child's: "Tonight, I get to sleep with my friend. It's been almost 40 years since we've had the chance to lie down and whisper to each other." That was Hoa, a friend who was tricked and sold across the border, and after many years, she found her way home.
Ms. Hoa had kidney stone surgery and was in Bach Mai Hospital for a whole week. Mom called to tell her all sorts of stories and then hesitantly said: “Whenever you have time, remember to visit Ms. Hoa. She has no children and is sick with no one to take care of her. It’s a pity. If I didn’t have to take care of the children, I would have taken the train to the hospital with her. She often asks about you.”
I know my mother is reluctant to bother her children and grandchildren. If Ms. Hoa had not been in such a situation, she would not have asked me to visit her in the hospital. But she was so busy with work, from dawn to dusk every day. By the time I finished work, visiting hours were over, and I kept putting it off… Then my mother called to tell me that Ms. Hoa had returned home. In fact, she was not home, but was staying at an old acquaintance’s house. My mother said, “Tomorrow, I will take her to my house until she is completely well.”
Today, my mother's friend flew to Saigon to work as a maid for an acquaintance's family. This is not a trip of a few days or a few months, but it may be a long time before she returns to the North. It also means that it will be a long time before my mother has the chance to see her again. I imagine my mother lying alone in her room, tearfully missing her. You used to sleep on this blanket and pillow, you praised the Buddha painting hanging in the room as beautiful. You used to buy lotus flowers to arrange in that vase. On the porch one afternoon, the two of you used to sit and pluck each other's white hair... My mother also promised that when she was old, if you had no place to live, she would build you a small house in the corner of the garden, living together. Just thinking about it was enough to make me feel sad...
Mom's friends are not many, why am I so indifferent? This afternoon, when I passed the airport, I should have stopped by to say hello. To give her a few hundred thousand for the trip. To hold her hand and say: "Mom and I are bored at home, remember to contact us often". To persuade: "Why don't you stay in Hanoi , there's no shortage of work here. I'll help you find one". But I always have an excuse to be busy. And at this moment, in my heart, I feel so much self-reproach and sorrow. Mom always has boundless love for her children. She also loves her friends, colleagues, and neighbors. But how often do children think about their parents' joys and sorrows? How often do they care about a relationship that is very important in their mother's life? How many of us have ever asked who mom's friends are? How are mom's friends doing?
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