Spread the message of love.

The book launch and discussion event for "Say That Your Child Needs You: A Guide to Supporting Loved Ones with Depression" by Associate Professor Dr. Nguyen Phuong Hoa, held last weekend in Hoi An, took place in a warm and humane atmosphere.

Overview of the exchange event. Photo: KTH

Opening the Q&A session, the author shared her journey in writing the book, which stemmed from her personal pain witnessing her son struggle with depression. She emphasized: "Depression is not a choice or a sign of weakness. What sufferers need most is patience, understanding, and a safe space from their family."

This book is not only a compilation of 500 international studies but also includes specific situations and words of encouragement for parents to "stay" with their children during the darkest days. Dr. Nguyen Thi Hang Phuong (Department of Educational Psychology, University of Education, Da Nang University) provides an in-depth analysis of the challenges in identifying and supporting depressed children in Vietnam. "Many parents still mistakenly believe depression is an 'invisible disease,' leading to impatient or authoritarian reactions. Instead of trying to fix it, learn to listen, understand, and empower your child," Dr. Nguyen Thi Hang Phuong advises.

From a professional and practical perspective, Mr. Hoang Quoc Quyen, Director of Hope School, analyzed the situation to show that these children's reactions are simply to convey the message, "I am lacking love." The only way to address this is to dare to give up work to spend time with the child. Love should be based on understanding and patiently talking and communicating with the child, not spoiling them. Mr. Quyen recounted a touching story: "I've encountered many cases of children refusing to communicate, silently crying every night because of the loss of their parents. Many choose to harm themselves. These actions are simply a way for them to send the message, 'Please love me!' Only when they feel accepted and loved unconditionally will their emotional wounds gradually heal."

Ms. Ngo Phuong Thao, Director of Anbooks, asked a touching question: "During your journey with your son, have you ever felt exhausted, and what did you do to overcome it?" In response, Associate Professor Dr. Nguyen Phuong Hoa shared: "There were days when I was so tired I wanted to give up, but I understood I couldn't. I learned to love myself more; only by healing myself could I have the patience to be with my son. Sometimes, I spend time reading, taking walks, or simply sitting quietly. That helps me regain balance and continue the journey."

One of the most interesting moments during the exchange was when the author revealed the "magic phrase" she and her son often recite together whenever they face difficulties:

"No matter what, nothing will happen."

No matter what, it's not going to work.

Doing nothing at all

"Whatever you do, it won't matter."

This simple "mantra" carries a powerful message: Nothing is permanent; all negative events and emotions will eventually pass.

According to Ms. Ngo Phuong Thao, depression is a disease like any other, and it is treatable. The important thing is that we must bravely accept and confront it, without blaming ourselves or each other, because depression also has biological causes, not stemming from parents not loving or caring enough for their children. Associate Professor Dr. Nguyen Thi Phuong Hoa analyzed: “Many families carry the burden of guilt, thinking they are the cause of their child's suffering. This unintentionally creates more pressure for both the patient and their caregiver. Let's cast aside that prejudice – depression is not a sin, but an opportunity for us to learn how to love in the truest sense.”

The author and the journey of the "healing guide"

Associate Professor Dr. Nguyen Thi Phuong Hoa, a psychology expert trained in Russia and France, and former Director of the Institute of Psychology and Communication, has dedicated her heart and soul to writing this book as a companion for families with depressed loved ones. Unlike her two previous works (There's a Pain Called Depression, When Dark Clouds Gather), this book combines personal experience with international scientific research, referencing over 500 updated sources. She shared: “I want parents to understand that depression is not the end. With patience and empowerment, we can help our loved ones find the light again.” The book emphasizes the paradox: depressed people are not completely “demotivated,” but possess extraordinary inner strength to recover if given a safe space.

CONSTANT COMPLAINTS

Source: https://baodanang.vn/channel/5433/202505/lan-toa-thong-diep-yeu-thuong-4007891/