4 things parents whose children get into top universities in the world should avoid doing

Theo Wolf is an Americaneducational consultant who specializes in career counseling for teenagers. Wolf graduated from Cornell University and has provided career counseling to many teenagers who have been admitted to prestigious universities around the world such as Harvard, Stanford, Princeton...

With 10 years of experience advising hundreds of students and parents on the threshold of college, Wolf has had the opportunity to witness how outstanding teenagers pursue their passions.

This expert has seen how teenagers build projects, call for funding, win awards... to create impressive profiles that convince the most demanding admissions boards in the world .

Through his journey, Wolf also had the opportunity to observe how parents raise their children. He found that parents who raise excellent children often have similarities.

Here are four things parents who raise excellent children never do:

If you just follow the crowd, you will look like other children (Illustration: Leoai).

Don't consider getting into a top school as the only way.

Many parents put all their hopes on their children getting into top schools, they consider it the most important goal for both parents and children. They openly emphasize this to their children. This creates tiring pressure for children on their journey to adulthood, causing them to lose a lot of joy.

Meanwhile, many parents that Wolf has worked with do not obsess over getting their children into top schools. They focus on helping their children develop core skills such as critical thinking, creative thinking, planning, communication, and self-control.

These are the fundamental skills for your child to succeed anywhere, and at the same time, these are also the things that prestigious universities really look for in candidates.

At this time, being admitted to a top school is the result of a journey of training and maturity, not the only goal that parents and children aim for.

Don't let "what other people do" determine what your child should do.

Competitive pressures affect the way parents raise their children. Parents themselves can easily get caught up in competing with other parents in their child-rearing journey. Many parents sign their children up for extra classes or extracurricular activities simply because "other people's kids are like that."

However, if your child just follows the crowd, he or she will look like other children, and in the end, parents will miss the opportunity to help their child develop their own identity early on.

According to expert Wolf, it is important for parents to understand what their children are interested in and what activities they are willing to spend time and effort on. The important role of parents in the journey of raising children is to guide and support their children, not to lead them to follow the crowd.

If parents do everything for them, children will not have the opportunity to develop initiative and the ability to manage on their own (Illustration: Leoai).

Don't solve all your problems for me.

Many parents today tend to "roll out the red carpet" for their children, taking care of everything for them. Wolf has heard teachers complain about parents making a big deal out of small problems. For example, if a child has a small conflict with a classmate, the parent gets worried and contacts the teacher.

Sometimes parents need to intervene to support their children, but before deciding to do so, parents need to consider carefully: Is this really necessary? Every problem, every challenge is an opportunity for children to learn to solve problems on their own.

If parents do everything for them, children will not have the opportunity to develop initiative and self-reliance, while these are qualities that are essential for a successful adult life.

Don't shield your child from failure.

When Wolf counsels many teens, she often asks them to review important milestones in their lives. In addition to events like moving or changing schools, many of them mention stumbling and failing in their pursuit of a passion, such as a favorite subject or sport .

Experiencing failure early on helps children learn to recover and regain their form. After such experiences, they will know how to reevaluate themselves and practice resilience. These are also very important qualities.

Instead of protecting your child from all failures and instilling in them the fear of losing, teach them how to overcome failures and consider them a normal part of life.

Parents should not limit their children's abilities by instilling in them the fear of experimentation and failure. By daring to experiment, children will do things that will surprise you.

Source: https://dantri.com.vn/giao-duc/4-viec-cha-me-co-con-do-dai-hoc-top-the-gioi-tranh-lam-20250518120616042.htm