Young Vietnamese people go to school to learn to speak and laugh.
VnExpress•03/10/2023
Minh Châu spent over two million dong on a course to improve her demeanor, and found it "worth the money" because for the first time she learned about ventriloquism and that there are three levels of laughter.
A 26-year-old woman in Ho Chi Minh City said that her previous company had judged her as incompetent because of her shy and reserved demeanor. She often missed opportunities when meeting clients because her lack of fluency and inability to make eye contact made her seem untrustworthy.
"I decided to take etiquette and manners classes, striving to improve myself, and that's how I was directly hired into a human resources and operations management position at my current company," Chau said.
Minh Châu (top right) in District 1, Ho Chi Minh City, is learning how to use eye contact and smiles appropriately in different situations, September 30. Photo provided by the subject .
Minh Châu said that in class she learned how to walk, stand, and sit – things she used to think were simple. "To project confidence, your shoulders should be broad, your head tilted upwards, you should smile slightly, your stomach slightly tucked in, walk slowly in a straight line, and swing your arms rhythmically. If you're carrying a handbag, the side with the zipper should face outwards, and your hand should grip loosely, revealing your index finger...", she explained.
Chau was surprised to learn that there are different levels of smiling. Level one is a smile with your eyes, for first-time encounters where there isn't much connection. Level two is a subtle smile for business partnerships or those with some existing conversational connections. Level three is a genuine, bright smile, for close relationships with many people who have met multiple times. "I also learned how to smile even when tired to motivate my employees," she said.
Chau found it novel, but these types of classes are very common in many parts of the world . In Europe, young people tend to learn table etiquette, while in Asia, particularly in China, Hong Kong, and Singapore, the focus is on training in " feminine grace " (the demeanor of a confident and charming woman). The strongest training movement is in China, where each experiential class usually has around 3,000 participants.
According to a survey by VnExpress , over the past month, content on Vietnamese social media platforms containing the keyword "learning etiquette" has attracted nearly 400,000 views and likes. Currently, there are more than 50 establishments offering in-person classes, each lasting from two to 21 days, with tuition fees ranging from over two million dong to several hundred million dong. These classes are mainly located in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City.
Students are having their posture and gait corrected in a etiquette class in Ho Chi Minh City, September 30. Photo: Thanh Nga.
Ms. Nguyen Quynh Trang, founder of the Asian Etiquette Academy (Ho Chi Minh City), said that about 5 years ago, very few people knew about this discipline, and those who did didn't register to study because they thought it was only for the elite and the wealthy.
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With the development of social media, people have become more knowledgeable, leading to a significant increase in the number of students, especially since around mid-2023. On average, Ms. Trang's academy has about 200 students per month, mostly in the 18-27 age group, double the number from last year.
According to Ms. Trang, learning demeanor is not simply about teaching soft skills. Students will be guided to harmoniously change both internally and externally. First, instructors will focus on changing mindsets, cultivating inner character along with correcting external posture, before moving on to social etiquette rules. Students learn about physical appearance, body curves, and correct posture for all ceremonies. Then, elegance and grace will be expressed through smiles, eye contact, mannerisms, and gait.
"Some people are endearing and admirable in everything they do because of their strong demeanor and charisma. And it's not uncommon to see unrestrained smiles, eyes always looking down, full of self-doubt," the female CEO said.
Besides learning about manners, many people also seek out additional classes on etiquette, table manners, social skills, and Vietnamese cultural customs. To Quynh Mai (35 years old, Hanoi), an instructor in etiquette, says she has over 100 students each month, an increase of nearly 50% compared to last year. Tuition fees range from two to eight million dong.
The training program consists of three main parts: 7% focuses on equipping participants with knowledge of etiquette and communication in Vietnam, as well as with friends and partners from other countries around the world; 38% covers voice techniques to develop a pleasant voice; and 55% deals with body language, including posture, hand gestures, and facial expressions.
"You have to practice and maintain these lessons for 21 days so that it becomes a habit," Ms. Mai said.
Lecturer Nguyen Quynh Trang (standing) is instructing students on proper dining etiquette and table manners, September 2023. Photo provided by the subject .
As a third-year student majoring in International Economics at the University of Commerce, Ta Thi Phuong spent two million dong to learn how to socialize and dine at banquets over two days, as she frequently has to entertain foreign experts.
"In particular, I had to practice speaking from my diaphragm, knowing when to speak loudly and clearly and when to speak softly, as well as observing the other person's eyes and gestures to understand their psychology," Phuong said.
According to cultural researcher Associate Professor Pham Ngoc Trung, former head of the Department of Culture and Development at the Academy of Journalism and Communication, this is an encouraging sign because cultivating and refining knowledge, communication skills, and etiquette is a way for young people to live valuable lives for themselves and society.
According to experts, the fast pace of modern life causes many young people to prioritize academic excellence and making money, neglecting core values and appropriate communication skills. Classes that cultivate etiquette and manners will provide an environment for young people to gain a deeper understanding of proper conduct, while self-improvement and personal growth must be applied daily; learning must be combined with practice to achieve success.
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To prepare for meeting her boyfriend's family, Thanh Thúy (23 years old) from Ba Đình district, Hanoi, invested three million dong to attend a class teaching proper etiquette for Vietnamese meals.
Thúy recounted that at home, she used to stick her chopsticks into her rice bowl and habitually pick up food and then put it down. Only after learning about it did she realize this was a taboo, or rather, a rule for dipping food: the tips of chopsticks shouldn't touch the dipping sauce bowl.
The instructor also suggested that, during a conversation with her boyfriend's family, she should only use one of three approaches: she could comment on the content on TV, talk about common ground between herself and the person she's talking to, or simply listen attentively to what the adults have to say.
"At home, I received guidance from my parents, but not as formally as in school. I feel that I have become much more refined and confident," Thuy said.
