Women are not for sacrifice

Mom always told me to be patient no matter what, to take care of the family, and to think of the two children in everything I do. Mom always told me to be patient with my father for my entire life, so it's okay for you women to be patient with your husbands a little bit.

Mom always told me that I thought I was miserable, but looking outside, I saw so many people who were miserable several times more than me. Didn't you see Mrs. A whose husband went out drinking, and back then there were no vehicles, so she had to wade through the fields and carry her husband on her back home in the middle of the night? Or Mrs. B whose husband went out gambling and was in debt, but she had to take care of the children and pay off her husband's debt. As for Mrs. C, her husband had affairs with other women, but she had to grit her teeth and endure it. If she said anything about jealousy, he would beat her face. People who are miserable like that still have to endure it for their children, but you guys, when your husband comes home late from drinking, when your husband yells at you a little, you scream and scream and want to leave. You have to be patient when you get married, my child. Everyone who gets married suffers, you have to try to live to preserve the family, for the children. Women suffer like that.

Mom, I know what you said is right, but Mom, since when are women supposed to endure, suffer, and sacrifice? People say women are flowers. A flower has its own beauty, its own pride, even when it has faded. A warm, happy family must have mutual respect from both sides, both husband and wife, and must have sacrifice from both sides. Why do women have to go to work, take care of the children, and do housework while men can comfortably finish their work and then go out with friends until late at night. When they get home, they are not at peace, they nag and curse Mr. A, Mr. B, or Mr. C who caused the drinking party and force their wives to sit and listen. Sometimes they throw up and force their wives to clean up, cook ginger for them to drink, and worry and lose sleep. Mom, isn't that too unfair? Mom has lived a life of patience for her children, I am very grateful to her, but sometimes I blame her for having to endure, why when dad beat her, she didn't get angry, why when dad left to be with someone else, she had to cry and call her uncles to find her. Why did mom have to tie her life to the word "sacrifice"?

“Sacrifice” is always the word that mothers often teach their daughters. Women must sacrifice for their husbands and children. Mom, I don’t want to teach my children and grandchildren the word “sacrifice” anymore. Women must be for love. Women must be strong and live for themselves and their children. If they see that their marriage is not happy, women have the right to end it, not to find another strong shoulder to lean on, but to be strong and independent. Women also have jobs, can take care of the economy , can change a light bulb, fix a broken water pipe, fix a broken chair leg… If there is any heavy work that they can’t do themselves, they have the right to hire a worker to do it, there is nothing to worry about. Women can live well even if they are raising children alone.

That's why I don't like the two words "sacrifice" that you always taught us. You were right, not wrong, but those two words are no longer appropriate. Women should never sacrifice themselves. In a happy family, the mother and the wife must feel happy. Why try to pamper, try to endure, Mom? Why don't women go to the beauty salon, take care of themselves, get paid to reward themselves with the things they love? After living for themselves a little, take care of their children and husbands. When you look in the mirror and see yourself getting more beautiful every day, when you look at your children and see them neat and tidy, the house is clean, isn't that happier than having to be messy and busy all day? Instead of waiting for your husband to go out drinking all day long, you go to the spa or go to a coffee shop with friends, doing what you like. Isn't that happier?

I had to free myself from the word “sacrifice”, or to be exact, awaken after seeing a close friend die of a serious illness. After she passed away, everyone realized that her wardrobe had a lot of branded clothes but she had never taken them off. It turned out that she was so busy with business and taking care of her husband and children that she had no time for herself. When she passed away, her son was in 10th grade but he couldn’t even remove the bones from fish and rice, and her husband didn’t even know how to cook a meal for the two of them. I wondered if her sacrifice was worth it when I saw her husband having an affair with someone else. That’s right, without a woman’s hand, it would be difficult for a father and son to take care of each other. Men, no matter how much they love their wives, it’s hard for them to stay single for life. So I woke up from the long dream of sacrifice that I had been taught since I was a toddler until I got married and had children. I started to take better care of myself, and I knew what true happiness was.

Mom, women are only happy when they are their own masters and can do what they like. And, Mom, I will never teach my children and your grandchildren the word “sacrifice” again, but will teach them that: Women must know how to take care of themselves to be beautiful, must work to find opportunities to develop themselves, and never sacrifice for their husband and children and stay in the kitchen.

Source: https://baobinhthuan.com.vn/phu-nu-khong-phai-de-hy-sinh-117334.html