7 things parents should say when their children are unable to control their emotions

(Dan Tri) - American psychologist Reem Raouda believes that parents who teach their children how to control themselves best are those who know how to soothe their children effectively when they "explode".

In the journey of growing up, parents have to face tantrums when their children are young, and intense emotional outbursts when they are teenagers. Sometimes, their children's attitudes and emotions become too much for parents to bear.

American psychologist Reem Raouda analyzed the relationships of more than 200 parents and their children. Ms. Raouda found that the parents who taught their children how to control themselves best were also those who knew how to soothe their children's emotions effectively.

The stages when children have difficulties in studying and living, causing emotional outbursts can give parents headaches (Illustration: iStock).

Tantrums in childhood or unusual anger in adolescence are just signs that the child's nervous system is overloaded. Parents need to choose words that are reassuring and connecting.

Here are 7 of the most effective emotional calming phrases that skillful parents will use to help their children calm down and gradually regain control of themselves.

“You are feeling a lot. We understand and we are here for you.”

This statement helps children quickly reflect on how they express their emotions and gain calmness from their parents. They also understand that they do not have to face the problem alone. When children feel the companionship of their parents, they often overcome negative emotions more quickly.

“Parents understand their children's feelings”

Children often feel emotionally ignored when their parents say things like, “It’s okay!” or “It’s no big deal!” But when parents say they understand the emotions they’re going through, it shows the child that they’re respected, and they trust their parents, which helps ease their emotions.

“The emotions you are experiencing are valid.”

Instead of saying, “It’s nothing to be upset about!”, parents need to remember that there are things that adults see as no big deal, but for children who have not had much experience, it is different. Therefore, the affirmation that “the emotions you are experiencing are reasonable” helps children feel accepted, thereby helping them become calmer.

Helping children learn to control their emotions and behavior requires a lot of patience and understanding from parents (Illustration: iStock).

“I'm not angry or disappointed. I'll get through this with you.”

Many parents think that they need to show anger to gain “authority” and discipline their children. But in fact, reassurance is much more effective in educating children. When children’s emotions are calmed down, dialogue and explanation will also be more effective.

“You can be angry. But don't hurt yourself or others.”

This statement sends a message that all of a child's emotions are acceptable to parents, but not all behaviors are acceptable.

“Take it easy. I'm here.”

Many times, your child's intense emotions stem from a temporary loss of their sense of security. A gentle word can help calm their emotions and help them begin to self-regulate more easily.

“We will get through this together.”

What every child wants to feel is that in the most difficult times, their parents are always there for them. Saying this to them often will remind them that they are not alone.

When children understand that their parents are always there to support them, they will have more confidence, increase their ability to overcome difficult challenges, increase their mental endurance and reduce their loss of control.

In reality, no single phrase can instantly calm things down. But if used often, these warm words can plant the seeds of greatness. Your child will learn to accept the wide range of emotions that come his way and will gradually learn to control himself better even when strong emotions arise.

After all, I know that I always have my family by my side. Just having that mentality makes me feel more confident and calm, increases my mental endurance, and helps me overcome problems more effectively.

Source: https://dantri.com.vn/giao-duc/7-cau-cha-me-nen-noi-khi-con-dang-khong-kiem-soat-duoc-cam-xuc-20250805115656746.htm