At 71 years old, I "formed a group of old friends", refused to take care of my grandchildren, sold my house to travel, and a few years later many people still thanked me profusely.

The difference in views on child-rearing between generations can be considered one of the reasons why many middle-aged people are no longer "interested" in taking care of their grandchildren.

From the perspective of the Baby Boomer generation, those born between 1946 and 1964, enjoying retirement without the burden of children and grandchildren seems like a reasonable decision. After years of working and raising families, they are asking themselves how to live meaningfully in the later stages of life.

Ted Dobson, a retired businessman, now 71, decided to move to a rented house in Mexico, far away from his children. This decision did not please his daughter, Leslie Dobson, who had expected her children to be raised and educated by their grandfather.

However, Ted Dobson defended his decision, saying it was the right choice.

"After half a lifetime of hard work, I deserve to enjoy the rest of my life in a meaningful way. Even though I sold my house in my hometown and moved to Mexico, that does not mean cutting off ties with my children and grandchildren. On the contrary, I will still accompany and support my children within a reasonable scope, including financially. But Leslie must learn to plan her own life, not depending on her parents anymore," he said.

Ted Dobson is not the only one who is doing the same thing. Ted says that when he talks about his retirement plans, many people are inspired. They are also preparing budgets, saving money and planning to have a free and comfortable life like him.

However, on the young side, some are struggling to care for their children in the absence of their parents. Kristjana Hillberg, 33, shares her experience of facing the challenge of caring for three children on her own.

"At home, Grandma has always been an important supporter when taking care of the three children, but since deciding to travel after retirement, things have become more difficult. If we want to send the children to their grandparents' house, we have to plan ahead to avoid their travel schedules," Hillberg shared.

This situation is not unique to Hillberg but is a reality for many families today.

The Bank of America Consumer Spending Habits Report for May 2023 revealed that Boomers are spending more on entertainment and dining out. According to the Federal Reserve, the population of this generation owns $78 trillion in assets, accounting for nearly half of the country's total assets. After earning this amount of wealth, it is not difficult to understand why middle-aged people start to have the need to enjoy and relax.

Mr. Ted Dobson has repeatedly affirmed that he is very satisfied with his current life. "Even my old friends are enjoying a similar life. People who are inspired by this spirit often send thank you messages while sharing photos of their travels, exploring new lands, and developing hobbies that they did not have time to do before," he said.

In contrast to the relaxed mentality of retired elders who are now busy spending money, the younger generation feels "left behind" as their parents choose to live their own lives, rather than build close relationships with their children and grandchildren.

"Most of them are against the way the previous generation did things. Those who are facing single parenting often feel abandoned when their parents choose to leave home to travel and relax, rather than take on the responsibility of looking after their grandchildren," said Los Angeles psychologist Leslie Dobson.

Leslie Dobson also shared that the younger generation often wants regular and stable support from their parents in taking care of their children. Therefore, occasionally asking for help to look after their children or grandchildren is "not enough to satisfy".

From a physical standpoint, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 1970, the average age of a first-time mother was 21.4; by 2000, that number had risen to 27.2 and continues to rise. Declining health is one reason why raising grandchildren is becoming increasingly difficult for this generation.

According to Leslie Dobson, this psychologist also pointed out the difference in parenting views between generations. The advice and experiences of Boomer parents may no longer be relevant or necessary due to the change in views and values of the younger generation.

"The younger generation values gentle parenting methods that avoid causing physical and mental harm to children, which is almost the opposite of the strict views and educational methods of the Boomer generation," expert Dobson emphasized.

Daniel Cox, director of the non-profit Center for American Life, also believes that this difference is the reason why many older people are not interested in raising grandchildren. The previous generation often relied on word-of-mouth experience to raise children. However, today's younger generation focuses on the Internet and support from diverse information sources, creating a billion-dollar industry providing knowledge and information on child-rearing methods. This also means that they do not necessarily rely as much on the experience and advice of their parents as the previous generation.

Phuong Moc

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/71-tuoi-toi-lap-hoi-ban-gia-tu-choi-cham-chau-ban-nha-di-du-lich-vai-nam-sau-nhieu-nguoi-van-roi-rit-cam-on-172250108152617293.htm