Not only during Tet, when children play together, I have witnessed many times children fighting over toys, crying… For me, if adults interfere with small things of children, it is easy to fall into bad things, unfair. Therefore, I only intervene when children fight over other people's toys. I want to teach children the lesson of fairness and civility from a young age.
Children fight over toys, should adults intervene?
Ten years ago, and still now, my house is always filled with the laughter of children. The yard and living room are the playgrounds for children to play soccer, throw balls, build models, draw, eat cakes, etc. The weekends are even more bustling. And the stories of "children liking other people's things" happening at my house are also "quite a few".
I was wrong to yell at my child.
When my first child was in preschool, a friend came over and asked to take his toy to play with, but he refused. Seeing that the child kept asking and the child’s parents kept quiet, I yelled at him and asked him to lend the toy to his friend. He had to give it to me, but he was clearly unhappy and upset.
It's not that we don't know how to teach our children the lesson of sharing and playing together, but for some reason, in that situation, they don't want to let their friends play. On the contrary, I often teach my children not to ask for other people's toys if they don't agree. We teach our children this lesson from a young age.
Since the day I yelled at my child, I realized that I was wrong, so I let him decide for himself. If other children come over and want to play with toys, I don't interfere, I just advise them on what to do, and the decision is up to them, not their parents.
I spoil my child so he demands it.
You and your husband often come to my house to play. Your child is about the same age as my second child. Your child comes over and demands this and that, and when his parents don't indulge him, he cries loudly.
Sometimes the child wanted to take my child’s toy, we did not object because the toy was… okay. Once we advised not to spoil the child, because if we spoiled him like that, the parents would scold and discipline him. Since then, the child has not asked for anything more every time he comes to my house.
Let your child decide whether to lend toys to other children.
Teach your children what belongs to them and what belongs to others.
When children "gather together", especially during Tet, parents need to teach their children about fairness. Teach them what belongs to them and what belongs to others. To do that, parents need to teach their children every day. Don't let Tet be less fun because you spoil your children.
The story of children demanding other people's toys, even demanding them back, is not the child's fault but the indulgence of adults. Because "your children are the best", they unintentionally spoil their grandchildren. This habit is "planted" from a young age and will have more or less effects later on. Grandparents and parents need to explain clearly to their children. If a child demands their way back, they need to be strict with them. That is true love.
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