Major Dao Mai Anh, a military medical officer in Battalion 1, Brigade 604, has a husband working at the Lai Chau Provincial Military Command. Currently, her family lives in Group 14, Zone 2, Van Phu Ward, Viet Tri City (Phu Tho Province). Because her husband is often away from home and has little time or opportunity to spend with the family, Major Dao Mai Anh has to handle almost everything for both her and her husband's families alone. She always tries to arrange her time carefully, ensuring she performs her professional duties well while raising her children to be well-behaved, allowing her husband to focus on his work. “My husband and I are both military personnel, so we understand the nature of each other's work and can easily share things. Moreover, even though he works far from home, he often calls to encourage me through difficult times and to guide our children's education, which always makes me feel secure and warm-hearted,” Major Dao Mai Anh shared.

The Tuyen Quang Provincial Military Command organized a seminar on "Building Happy and Sustainable Military Families" in June 2023. Photo: HOANG VINH

The family of Major Giàng Thị Tâm, Chairwoman of the Women's Association of the 379th Economic-Defense Brigade, is one of the exemplary military families of the unit. Ms. Tâm is from Mường Chà district (Điện Biên province), and her husband, Captain Ngô Huy Phong, a communications officer in the Staff Department of the 379th Economic-Defense Brigade, is from Ngọc Mỹ commune, Lập Thạch district (Vĩnh Phúc province), hundreds of kilometers away from the unit. The 379th Economic-Defense Brigade lent them a plot of land to build a temporary house in Nậm Chim 1 village, Si Pa Phìn commune, Nậm Pồ district (Điện Biên province), near the unit for convenience. Major Giàng Thị Tâm expressed: "Compared to many other military families, my family is more fortunate because my husband and I work in the same unit, and the unit cares for us and provides support in all aspects. This is both a motivation and a responsibility for us to build a happy family together. In my opinion, it's good if husband and wife can live close to each other, but if not, we must try to overcome the difficulties, live optimistically, and not compare ourselves to others or complain..."

The above are just two of hundreds of military families in agencies and units under Military Region 2 where husbands and wives work far apart or have hometowns far from their units. Despite facing many difficulties, they always maintain a happy marriage thanks to love and sharing, and the care and support of the Party committees and commanders of their respective agencies and units. In today's society, families in general, and military families in particular, are heavily impacted by the negative aspects of socio-economic life. Therefore, according to representatives of military families we spoke with, disagreements are inevitable. If husbands and wives do not understand, share, and compromise with each other, it can easily lead to strained relationships, even marital breakdown. To build a happy military family, each family member needs to know how to "separate the wheat from the chaff," let go of their ego, and make family happiness and the future of their children their goal.

According to Colonel Nguyen Thanh An, Deputy Political Commissar of the Tuyen Quang Provincial Military Command, husbands and wives need to deeply understand their responsibilities in building a happy family; they must know how to harmonize their relationships. Whether working near or far apart, they must always respect each other, share, and encourage each other to overcome difficulties. A happy and harmonious family will have a positive impact on the community, contributing to the development of society. “A happy family is not only about comfort and prosperity but also about the convergence of beautiful cultural values, expressed through the attitudes, behaviors, and conduct of each member. This means showing respect, politeness, humility, care, and concern for elders; showing consideration, helpfulness, and forgiveness to subordinates; and husbands and wives must live harmoniously based on love, fidelity, and mutual understanding,” Colonel Nguyen Thanh An shared.

CAO MANH TUONG

Happiness is knowing how to share.

My husband is Captain Nguyen Van Tam, Team Leader of the Mass Mobilization Team, Ba Nang Border Guard Post (Quang Tri Provincial Border Guard), stationed in the mountainous district of Huong Hoa, bordering Laos. My children and I live in Gio Linh town, Gio Linh district (Quang Tri). From the time we fell in love until now, we've spent more time apart than together, but I've always felt that my choice was the right one.

The family of Captain Nguyen Van Tam. Photo provided by the family.

We met through a close friend of my husband's. At the time, I was a student at Saigon University, and he was a cadet at the Border Guard Academy in Hanoi. We lived at opposite ends of the country, communicating via phone, Facebook, and email. In the midst of the city, with its many temptations, I remained devoted to this honest and kind-hearted border guard cadet; I shared in his difficulties and hardships... For many years, due to the long distance and demanding work, he only came home once every one or two months. Especially during holidays and Tet (Lunar New Year), he was almost always on duty at his unit. When the Covid-19 pandemic broke out, he was away for half a year. Even so, my children and I, and our family, are very proud of him and everything he has done and is doing. Despite the distance, we never felt a gap between us. We regularly shared our work and daily lives over the phone in the evenings; we encouraged each other for the happiness of our family and the future of our children, striving together. Deep down, I also wished he could be transferred to a unit closer to home, but I didn't want my husband to worry about it. I told myself that if you love a soldier, you have to "love" all the difficulties and sacrifices. And I feel compensated because whenever he comes home, he always helps me clean the house, take the children to school, cook... just as the writer Chu Lai once said: Marrying a soldier means being apart, but when they come home, every night is like a wedding night, every week is like a honeymoon.

Ms. Ho Thi Hoa

(Wife of Captain Nguyen Van Tam, Team Leader of the Mass Mobilization Team, Ba Nang Border Guard Station, Quang Tri Provincial Border Guard)

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Love and longing are expressed through words of encouragement.

We got married in 2009, and a little over a month later, my husband left for duty. We now have two children, but he's only home occasionally. Having given birth twice, I've come to understand the hardships of having my husband stationed on a remote island. Whenever the weather changes or the children get sick, I have to manage everything myself, taking them to the doctor. I remember one time at the National Children's Hospital, when the doctor called me in for an examination, I was carrying my one-month-old baby in one arm and my three-year-old in the other. My mother-in-law was with us, but she was too frail to help much. When the doctor ordered a chest X-ray, my children and I went in, but when we turned around, my mother-in-law was gone. I rushed to find her. At that moment, I felt so lonely and sad, tears streaming down my face. I wished my husband were here; it would have been so much easier...

The family of Major Duong Ngoc Tan. Photo provided by the family.

Through moments of weakness, I remind myself to be strong, to suppress my own emotions so that my husband can focus on his work. I pour all my longing and affection into my love and words of encouragement so that he can confidently fulfill his duties. Conversely, my husband is also very thoughtful; although he doesn't have much time to spend with the family, he always cares for and encourages his wife and children. When he has free time, he calls home to ask about the children's studies, health, and how my work is going. When he comes home on leave, he always dedicates all his time to taking care of the family. Therefore, despite the difficulties and hardships, I always feel happy, and my children and I will always be a strong support system and a powerful source of motivation for my husband to focus on his work and successfully complete all assigned tasks. My children and I are also very proud that he is tirelessly protecting the sacred seas and islands of our homeland.

Ms. Dinh Thi Le Quyen

(Wife of Major Duong Ngoc Tan, Political Officer of Toc Tan C Island, Truong Sa, Khanh Hoa)

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Taking care of the family together

Back then, he was the kitchen manager at the Tan Phuoc District Military Command (Tien Giang Provincial Military Command), so he frequently went to the market to buy food. I was a teacher at Phu Cuong Primary School in Cai Lay District, Tien Giang Province (now transferred to Nhi Quy Primary School in Cai Lay Town, Tien Giang Province). We often commuted along the same route, so I got to know him and developed feelings for him. We "moved in together" in 2003.

The family of Major Nguyen Anh Tuan. Photo provided by the family.

Having lived together for over 20 years, I understand that although his work isn't on the border or on islands like many of his comrades, it still has its own hardships. It must be said that soldiers face difficulties everywhere. For example, during the Covid-19 pandemic a few years ago, he and his comrades had to be on constant duty at checkpoints, serving patients and people in quarantine areas... At that time, I was very worried but also very proud and confident that he would complete his nhiệm vụ well. His unit is about 30km from home, but he only gets to come home once a week. Whenever he's home, he proactively does housework, from tending the garden, helping me cook, washing clothes, cleaning the house, to taking the children to school... Especially, he even helps me create electronic lesson plans for teaching. His care, encouragement, and support have significantly contributed to me achieving the title of excellent teacher at the district and provincial levels for many consecutive years. He loves our children but is strict in his discipline. As a result, our two sons are well-behaved and excellent students.

In married life, there are inevitably times of anger and resentment. At those times, my husband and I calmly talk things through and listen to each other. As fellow officials and Party members, we understand the importance of being exemplary in our words and actions, setting a good example for our children. In my opinion, happiness lies in knowing how to love, care for, and nurture our children as they grow up...

Ms. Ho Thi Lieu

(Wife of Major Nguyen Anh Tuan, finance officer, Tan Phuoc District Military Command, Tien Giang Provincial Military Command)