Tips for parents to connect with teens

Entering puberty, due to the strong development of sex hormones and cognition, children will have unexpected changes in psychology and personality. If parents lose connection with their children during this sensitive period, the relationship between parents and children will become increasingly distant.

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Changes in adolescent psychology

Children are easy to please, easy to please and almost completely obedient to their parents, teenagers are different. At this age, children begin to have their own opinions, like to assert their ego, like freedom, even rebel. Due to the strong activity of sex hormones, children can become more sensitive, irritable or sad, anxious and thoughtful, just a scolding from parents or teachers can make children feel deeply hurt.

During adolescence, children begin to pay attention to their appearance, fear being criticized for being fat or ugly, and always feel dissatisfied with themselves. Children also often worry about not being good at studying, fear being underestimated or receiving negative comments from others.

Some children become cautious when communicating with people, even with their parents. Some children begin to feel "flutter" with the opposite sex, want their parents to respect their privacy, but sometimes the more privacy they want, the more strict their parents are.

NA, a 9th grade student, said: Since puberty, my parents and everyone said I was autistic, so I didn't dare to meet anyone. Actually, I'm not afraid to meet anyone, it's just that the topics that adults often talk about are not topics that I'm interested in. Adults often comment and judge others. My father often says I'm stupid, my grandmother says I'm fat, I'm really not interested in talking to my father and grandmother.

TM, a 10th grade student, said: Besides studying, my parents never asked me about anything else. I borrowed my mother's phone to text my friends a few times, but my mother told me "I'm in love with someone so young" and forbade me from touching my phone again.

Sometimes children do not want to confide in their parents because their parents do not really understand them. Illustration photo

NA and TM's sharing are just small thoughts that sometimes parents do not care about or pay attention to. As parents, do you really understand your teenagers?!

6 Simple Ways for Parents to Connect with Teens

There are countless easy-to-follow tips for connecting with teens that parents often overlook.

Say I love you every day

When teens were still children, every day their parents would “pour honey” into their ears with loving words: “Daddy/Mommy loves you the most in the world”/ “Where is my little princess/prince”… However, when that child becomes a young man or woman, they no longer hear such loving words as often. Even though they have grown up, they are still your children, and no matter how old they are, they still like to be told they love you every day.

Have family meals with your children

This sounds simple, but not many families can maintain it today. Many teenagers eat lunch at school or if they don't eat lunch, they will go home to eat alone, while their parents often eat lunch at work. As for dinner, to keep up with their studies, children will eat earlier or later than everyone else in the family. Therefore, a meal with all members is sometimes very difficult. However, if parents really want to eat with their children, you can completely arrange your work and change your schedule flexibly.

When eating with their children, parents should not just be absorbed in listening to the news on TV or "glued" to their phones. You go to work all day and your children go to school all day, only in the evening the whole family can reunite, all members need to focus on the meal. Parents can take the opportunity to ask their children about their friends and their studies while eating. Avoid criticizing or criticizing their children during the meal. If parents are not satisfied with something about their children, they should wait until after the meal to give their opinion.

Do something with your child

Many parents make friends with their children by inviting them to participate in certain activities. For example, the mother and child can walk around the park together after school; the father and child can play badminton or chess together on the weekends. Or simply take the child to the cinema once a month, allowing the child to choose the movie he or she likes. These activities help parents and children become closer.

Making friends with teenagers is not difficult if parents really understand their children. Illustration photo

Respect your child's personal preferences

Many parents get angry when they see their children idolize K-Pop or like a certain European or American singer who dresses very strangely. Think back to your school days, did you also like an artist who looked very different and pioneering? Each generation will have different interests and perspectives on life, do not force your children to live like you, and you should not forbid or criticize them. You should only intervene when your children are too absorbed in idols and forget about studying. On the contrary, if possible, parents should try to learn about their children's passions and interests, sometimes you will find yourself "addicted" to them.

Make friends with your child on social networks

Some teens block their parents and relatives on Facebook, or if they become friends, they will limit their parents from reading some of their posts, or use multiple social media accounts to “hide” from their parents. Don’t be too angry when your child ignores you. Not being friends online doesn’t mean you can’t communicate and be friends with your child in real life. However, if possible, send a friend request to your child’s social media account. A sincere and persistent invitation can make your child reconsider. Parents being able to connect with their children online will help you understand them better. However, keep an eye on your child quietly, don’t jump in and comment on every post they make, this will make your child think that their parents are monitoring and controlling their social media activities.

Besides, you can also create a family group on Messenger or Zalo to contact your children quickly and conveniently when needed.

Don't avoid the topic of sex when talking to your child.

When your children reach puberty, they are very curious about sex and reproductive health, parents should take the initiative to talk to their children about this issue. If your children feel shy, you can provide them with reliable documents on this topic for reference. Do not let your children struggle to grow up without the companionship of their parents.

However, there are some rules you should set so that your child does not go beyond the limit. For example, your child can go to your friend's house to play or invite a friend home but should not stay with a friend of the opposite sex in a separate room, your child can have feelings for a friend of the opposite sex but should not have sex before the age of 18...

Loving and respecting a child's personal freedom is essential, but keeping them safe and healthy is even more important.

PEACEFUL

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