Joining the "female generals' club" in 9th grade, Hoang Thao repeatedly invited the group to beat up a female student because she had a "mole next to her mouth, which looked ugly".
"Sometimes we met outside school, sometimes we dragged each other to the bathroom. We hit and slapped each other, not joking around," said Hoang Thao, now 27 years old, living in Hanoi .
According to Thao, because of poor health, the victims often kept quiet and endured the abuse. There were times when the beaten person told the teacher, or Thao’s group was caught beating a friend, but Thao often escaped punishment, or just wrote a self-criticism, because Thao’s mother was the president of the parents’ association. The bullying continued, but more secretly than before.
Regarding the reason for beating her friend, Thao simply said it was because "she hated seeing them", but admitted that many times it was just an excuse, not for any specific reason. The bullied female student was only let go when Thao's group got bored and started teasing another student.
Bullying is an intentional and persistent act that causes harm to others, said psychologist Dr. Khuc Nang Toan of Hanoi National University of Education in a discussion at the end of April. Bullying can take many forms, such as verbal threats, insults, physical attacks, posting clips and images online to intimidate, manipulate, isolate or spread rumors.
The Ministry of Education and Training estimates that nearly 7,100 students will be involved in school violence in 2022. However, these are only statistics after students fight each other. Therefore, the actual number of victims and people involved in school bullying may be much larger.
An 8th grade female student was beaten by a group of students from the same school in the restroom of Gio Linh Secondary School, Quang Tri , on the afternoon of April 24. Photo cut from clip
Experts believe there are four causes of school bullying .
The first is the power relationship between students, which comes from the desire to demonstrate superior authority in the relationship. Dr. Toan gives the example of a large student who wants to demonstrate his strength, authority, and dominance over students of smaller stature, thereby forming bullying. According to Mr. Toan, sometimes disadvantaged students become bullies, in order to gain superior authority and hide their disadvantages.
The second reason is social learning. Doctor of Psychology Vu Thu Trang, Hanoi Pedagogical University, believes that bullying is not a behavior that students are born with, but rather learned from others. For example, in the family, children see their parents using corporal punishment to order them around, or friends who cannot persuade them isolate each other. Children see this and learn.
According to Ms. Trang, the sad thing is that the victims also consider it an effective way to solve the problem, then use it again on those weaker than them. This process is similar to the spread of a virus, appearing from one student to another and changing, causing school bullying to spread at a rapid rate, difficult to control.
Behavioral and emotional reinforcement is the third cause of school bullying, according to Mr. Toan. He believes that bullying is not always intentional from the beginning, sometimes it erupts because students lose control. When they see that this action can help solve the problem or achieve their goals, they will continue to use it. Thus, the behavior is reinforced and repeated.
The fourth reason is that the forms of discipline for school bullying are not deterrent enough, so students are not afraid and repeat the behavior, according to Mr. Huynh Thanh Phu, principal of Bui Thi Xuan High School, Ho Chi Minh City.
According to regulations of the Ministry of Education and Training, when students violate discipline, schools can only reprimand, warn, or suspend them for a maximum of two weeks. Expulsion will no longer be applied from 2020. Meanwhile, many students defy regulations, often quarreling and fighting inside and outside of school. Sometimes, the behavior is serious, even fatal.
A few days ago, a group of six male students from An Phuc High School in Nam Dinh prepared weapons and fought after school. As a result, an 11th grader died on the way to the emergency room.
Bullying and fighting are now often filmed by students and posted online. Associate Professor Dr. Dang Quoc Thong, Chairman of the Board of Directors of Doan Thi Diem Secondary and High School, said that this behavior stems from the psychology of wanting attention and praise, "seeing that is cool", thinking of oneself as a hero. According to Mr. Thong, at school age, students like to imitate, while posting sensational content, including violence, to attract "likes" is rampant on social networks.
School bullying has serious consequences not only for the victims, but also for the perpetrators. Mr. Toan believes that students who are bullied will be afraid to go to school, and their academic results will decline. Socially, victims of school bullying become withdrawn, afraid to communicate, often anxious, fearful and stressed. Being bullied also causes victims to behave badly, lie to their parents or steal money to buy food, "tribute" to the bully. Being beaten and filmed creates even more pressure for the victims when they have to face the feeling that thousands of people know about the incident.
Late last month, the eighth grade daughter of Mr. Hoang Van Dang, 43, who lives in Gio Linh district, Quang Tri province, was forced to kneel by a group of classmates, beaten with helmets, and had her shirt torn in the restroom. Mr. Dang said that from being a sociable person who often participated in the school's cultural events, his daughter is now afraid to go to school, does not dare to go online, and hides whenever she meets a stranger. He is also worried that later, when he accidentally watches the clip online, his daughter will be mentally affected again.
Regarding students who bully their friends, Dr. Vu Thu Trang sees this behavior as the foundation for an unhealthy way of solving problems, making them more likely to break the law in the future. Not to mention, bullies often have only a few "friends", most of whom are members of the bullying group, and are shunned by everyone. This is also the social consequence that students who bully have to endure.
Looking back on what she did, Hoang Thao said she was lucky. At that time, the media and social networks were not as developed as they are now, so Thao's actions were not spread. This also meant something to the victim, because Thao agreed that the consequences of having her clip posted were many times more serious than physical injuries.
Another lucky thing, according to Thao, is that the friend who was beaten for no reason also overcame that difficult period. In high school, the two talked to each other again, Thao even went to carry the tray at her friend's engagement, but there was still one thing she did not dare to do.
"For more than 10 years since graduating from middle school, I have never seriously apologized to her or asked her how she overcame those things. I didn't dare say anything, even though I still felt guilty and remorseful," Thao said.
Thanh Hang - Duong Tam
*Character names have been changed.
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