Boy depressed because of emotionally "cold" meals

At the age of 13, Quang (character's name has been changed), living in Hanoi, was taken to a mental hospital by his parents because he was withdrawn, had little communication, often had insomnia and showed signs of dropping out of school.

The story shared by MSc. Hoang Quoc Lan, a clinical psychologist who directly examined the child patient, revealed a silent truth that exists in society: Even though he did not suffer from violence or lack of material things, he still fell into mild depression because... he was lonely in his own family.

An "empty" childhood amidst abundance

Quang told the expert that his childhood was filled with eating at his neighbor's house because there was no one at home.

On weekends, my parents only left me a little money and told me to "buy whatever you want to eat". The family hardly ever ate together, each person had their own time, and when they were all together, the sound of the TV and the sound of knives and chopsticks overwhelmed all conversation.

Quang's family meals lack warmth (Photo: Getty).

The rare question from dad: "How's your study lately?" only received Quang's short answer: "Normal".

The boy tried to share his sadness, but his mother said: "What's there to be sad about?", and his father brushed him off: "You're an adult, take care of yourself." Times like that made him not want to say anything more.

According to Master Lan, Quang is a typical case of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN).

This is a state that occurs when children do not receive appropriate emotional feedback from their parents, despite living in materially comfortable conditions. Children gradually believe that their emotions are not important, thereby forming the habit of withdrawing and enduring everything on their own.

"Emotional poverty" - the disease of modern times

In modern society, many children grow up in “ideal living conditions” but face a different kind of poverty: emotional disconnection. Busy parents, absorbed in the pursuit of material success, often inadvertently neglect their children’s spiritual lives.

MSc. Hoang Quoc Lan, clinical psychologist (Photo: Expert provided).

They give their children freedom and do not interfere, thinking that this is a civilized way of showing love. But it is the emotional absence that makes children feel lost. When their feelings are not listened to or recognized, children easily fall into a state of loneliness, anxiety, and prolonged sadness.

Many children seek connection through social media and electronic devices, which are filled with negative information. Constantly seeing images of other people's "happy families" sometimes only deepens their feelings of deprivation and inferiority.

What should parents do?

It is not physical presence, but emotional presence that children need most.

According to Master Lan, it is important for parents to create a safe space for children to share their emotions, even if they are small joys and sorrows. Start with specific questions like: "What made you happy at school today?", instead of just asking "How was your study?".

Let your child know that their feelings are valued, not dismissed as "unreasonable." Don't be quick to judge or impose solutions when your child needs to be heard.

Companionship does not come from expensive trips, but from small things: meals on time, watching a favorite show with your child, or a hug when your child is tired.

"A careless word can leave a scar, but a timely word of comfort can be a bridge to help your child escape the darkness," the expert emphasized.

Source: https://dantri.com.vn/suc-khoe/cau-be-tram-cam-vi-nhung-bua-com-nguoi-lanh-cam-xuc-20250512074918769.htm