My daughter-in-law throws out the trash once a week, making my house smell bad, but every time I remind her, her mother-in-law defends her.

How can I turn my house into a dump with this daughter-in-law who can't talk anymore?

My family recently experienced a big incident when faced with the fact that our daughter-in-law, who from the beginning we always expected to be our son's companion in family life, became lazy and had disrespectful behaviors towards family members.

When I first came home as a daughter-in-law, Ha wasn't like this, but the longer we lived together, the more I couldn't accept the children in the house being so lazy.

I'm not being picky because she's my daughter-in-law, it's just that she's too lazy.

Because she is a new daughter-in-law, I am very patient. If she were my daughter, I would have waited for her a long time ago and not let her go online to complain like this.

Since becoming a daughter-in-law, Ha has not integrated much into our family life.

At first, I thought that maybe she needed time to adapt, but day by day, her attitude of being an outsider staying here made me unable to help but feel uncomfortable.

In addition, every time we touch her, she is ready to say disrespectful words to her husband's parents, which makes us worried and upset.

I know I'm quite picky but I don't ask her to do much, just wash the dishes after eating and don't leave them in the room to the point where maggots grow.

Clothes should be washed after use, don't let them get moldy in the laundry basket. Same with trash, it should be thrown out daily, don't let it accumulate and stink all over the house all week...

My son works far from home and sometimes only comes home once a month. He has reminded his wife to be clean many times, but this girl is incredibly self-conscious and gets upset at every little thing.

Her husband is so bored that he is planning to let his wife move out and live on her own so she can live however dirty she wants.

The first problem is that the two of us are not financially stable yet. My son goes to work to earn money, but Ha refuses to go to work. Wherever she works, she can only work for a few days and then quit, and if she doesn't quit, she will be fired because she is late for work and skips work without reason. Now she has no children and nothing, so I wonder what kind of scandal it will be when she gives birth?

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But what surprised and disappointed me the most was the attitude of the in-laws. Whenever a conflict arose, instead of trying to reconcile and advise their children, they always sided with Ha, defending their daughter at all times and places.

They fail to recognize or perhaps do not want to acknowledge their daughter's mistakes, making the problem even more difficult to solve.

To me, family is not only a place to share joy but also a place to help each other in difficulties and educate children about how to live and behave.

However, Ha's case and her in-laws' attitude made me think a lot about the way parents educate and intervene in their children's private lives.

I know that not everyone can immediately integrate perfectly into a new living environment after marriage. But I also believe that with effort and self-awareness, every individual can improve themselves and become an important part of their husband or wife's family. Unfortunately, Ha did not show any desire to change or improve.

Every time a conflict arises, I try to stay calm, find a way to dialogue and solve the problem in the most rational way. I do not want to make a big deal out of it, because I know that any tension will only hurt my son and my own health. But sometimes, that silence and patience are misunderstood as weakness, making Ha even more rude and unwilling to change.

What I am most worried about now is not only my daughter-in-law's rudeness, but also my son's health and happiness. Living in a stressful and disrespectful environment will greatly affect his psychology and life. I do not want my son to suffer such things.

In this situation, I realized that the problem was not only between me and my daughter-in-law, but also related to the way the in-laws viewed and resolved the problem. Their attitude greatly influenced the way Ha behaved and acted. I began to wonder if we - the parents - sometimes spoiled our children too much, to the point of not daring to face the truth and think about their true happiness?

Currently, I am still looking for the most effective solution. I hope that I can find a common voice with my in-laws and daughter-in-law, thereby rebuilding a harmonious family environment, respecting each other.

If things continue to be deadlocked like this and no one is willing to resolve it, then I may have to return my daughter-in-law to her in-laws so they can continue to love and protect her, because my family and I are about to lose our patience.

Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/con-dau-ca-tuan-vut-rac-1-lan-khien-nha-toi-boc-mui-nong-nac-nhung-cu-he-nhac-nho-la-ba-thong-gia-lai-benh-cham-chap-172241203085751319.htm