Awkward school dismissal times lead to marital conflicts over picking up and dropping off children.

Each school has a different dismissal time, and the same applies to each grade level. Children's dismissal times often coincide with their parents' working hours. Therefore, many families struggle to manage transportation, sometimes leading to conflicts.

The school dismissal time is awkward; with two children at home, I spend all day juggling pick-ups and drop-offs, leaving me with no time for anything else.

That's the reality for Ms. Nguyen Kim Thoa (name changed at her request), residing in a disadvantaged commune in Dong Nai province (formerly Binh Phuoc province), where 80-90% of the population relies on rubber trees for their livelihood, working as rubber tappers. Ms. Kim Thoa shared with a reporter from Thanh Nien Newspaper her daily schedule – she plays the main role in the household, taking care of the children, cooking, and doing housework – while also working freelance to help her husband support their children's education.

"I have two children. The older one is in middle school, and the younger one is in high school. Two days a week, the younger one only has morning classes, finishing at 11:20 AM. The other five days, the younger one has two sessions per day. The younger one finishes school at 10:30 AM, I pick her up, then prepare meals. At 11:30 AM, I go to school to pick up the older one. At 12:15 PM, I take both children to school for classes until the afternoon. After school ends at 3:55 PM, I repeat the cycle of picking them up and dropping them off."

Parents pick up and drop off their children after school at a primary school in Ho Chi Minh City.

ILLUSTRATIVE PHOTO: NHAT THINH

"The problem is, whether the children finish school at 10:30 or 15:55, it's still the time when parents are working, tapping rubber trees. I work freelance, but many others have to ask their employers for permission to leave their work and rush out to pick up their children. It's easier if you meet someone understanding, but if you meet an unsympathetic employer, no one dares to leave their work midway to pick up their child," the mother said.

In addition, Ms. Thoa also said that families with children in both primary and secondary school face even greater difficulties, with the commute being more stressful. This is because primary school students attend two sessions a day from Monday to Friday. Classes start at 7:00 AM and end at 10:30 AM, and in the afternoon, classes start at 2:00 PM and end at 4:00 PM.

"To pick up my child on time at 10:30, I have to leave at 10:00. Then in the afternoon, at 3:30, I might be rushing to school to wait for my child to finish classes. So, all day I'm constantly anxious about the time to pick up my child, neglecting my work and making it impossible to be effective. Many people can't ask to leave early because they need to pick up their child, so even if their child finishes school at 10:30, 4:00, or 4:30, they still have to wait for their parents. I've witnessed many students having to wait for their parents for an hour, waiting for their parents to finish work before they come to pick them up. The worst is lunchtime; I get home late, the children wait for their parents to finish cooking, they eat quickly, and then their parents take them back to school for the afternoon classes," Ms. Thoa added.

Parents are frantically picking up their children; for children who attend school for two sessions a day and don't eat lunch at school, parents have to drop them off and pick them up four times a day. For families with two children, that's eight trips to and from school, not including travel to extracurricular classes.

ILLUSTRATIVE PHOTO: NHAT THINH

"This school schedule is very inconvenient. I wish the children would finish school at 4:30 or 5:00 PM to match our parents' work schedules, because with this schedule, parents are constantly on edge. If you have two or more children, either parent must have a freelance job to be flexible with picking up and dropping off the children. If both parents work in factories, the boss won't accept parents constantly asking to 'come in late and leave early to pick up their children.' Parents can't possibly manage to take care of their children like that," a mother of two confided.

Many people might question why, with both children already grown, she doesn't let them walk or ride bikes to school on their own. Ms. Thoa explained that only parents understand the feeling. Traffic is much more complicated now than it used to be, and if the children were left to go to and from school alone, sometimes traveling up to 16 km each day, parents wouldn't be able to feel at ease.

The couple is arguing over who gets to pick up and drop off their child.

Ms. Thoa further recounted the story of her brother and sister-in-law, who live in Hong Quang commune, Ninh Binh province (formerly Nam Truc district, Nam Dinh province). The issue of transporting children to and from school, with their erratic schedules, has been and continues to be a major difficulty for many families.

"My brother and sister-in-law have three children, in three different grades: 3rd, 8th, and 11th. Each child has a different school dismissal time in the morning and afternoon, which usually doesn't coincide with the rush hour for workers. My sister-in-law works as a factory worker in the commune, from morning until 5 PM. My brother drives a taxi and usually takes rides during school hours, timing it perfectly to pick up and drop off his children. But on unexpected days, for example, if the children finish school at 10:30 AM and he's still on his way to pick them up, he calls my sister-in-law to ask her to stop by the school to pick them up. My sister-in-law has to squeeze past the factory fence, leaving the car parked outside. On days when she gets caught by the security guard and is let through, it's fine; but if it's a minor issue, she gets reprimanded, and if it's a serious issue, her performance points, salary, and bonuses are deducted. Then, when she gets home, the two of them argue. This happens very often, almost daily," the female parent expressed.

Not every family has grandparents to help with childcare; many families accept one parent working in a company and the other working freelance to take the children to and from school.

ILLUSTRATIVE PHOTO: NHAT THINH

A person has to accept working outside the home to provide for their children.

Mr. TVH, residing in Binh Tuyen commune, Phu Tho province (formerly Vinh Phuc province), works as a freelance driver and has three children attending preschool, primary, and secondary school. His wife works as a factory worker at an auto parts company, leaving home at 7:30 AM and returning at 8:00 PM. Her work schedule is very strict, making it impossible for her to leave in between. Therefore, he almost single-handedly handles all the responsibilities of picking up and dropping off the children and preparing meals at home.

This year, with his eldest child in sixth grade able to ride a bike to school on their own, Mr. H. feels less burdened. Last year, however, he spent his days juggling work and taking his children to and from school.

"In the morning, I feed the children breakfast, take one to preschool, and the other two to elementary school. At noon, I pick up the two elementary school children, prepare their meals, and then take them back to school in the early afternoon. At 4 PM, I go back to school to pick up all three. The preschooler also finishes school very early, by 4 PM. Once, because I was so busy, I didn't get to school until 4:15 PM, and I saw that the teachers had already turned off all the lights, leaving only my children. I was so busy that for lunch, I could only make stir-fried meat and boiled cabbage. Now, my eldest daughter says, 'Dad, I'm so tired of stir-fried meat and boiled cabbage,' and I feel so sorry for her," Mr. TVH confided.

Mr. H. said: "It would be great if all primary and preschools let children finish school at 4:30 PM - 5:00 PM. Because not every family has grandparents to help out. In my family, I have to work freelance to provide for my children. If both of us were factory workers, we certainly wouldn't be able to send them to school."

Source: https://thanhnien.vn/gio-tan-hoc-treo-ngoe-vo-chong-luc-duc-vi-dua-don-con-185250913153858617.htm