Children refuse to care
My name is Ly Hong Van, I am 63 years old. My husband is two years older than me. We are both retired workers. Our pensions are quite good, if we count both of us, we should get 10,000 yuan (equivalent to 35 million VND) per month.
We have a child, he is 39 years old this year, currently working for a private enterprise in the city. His job is quite stable, his monthly salary is about 90 million yuan (equivalent to 31.5 million VND), and his daughter-in-law is a clerical worker, earning about 5000 yuan (equivalent to 17.5 million VND) per month.
After my children got married, I felt relieved because I thought I would have a more comfortable life and less worries. When my son got married, I also retired. I had nothing to do at home so I could go to my children's house to help with some chores. Besides, I also planned to live there for my old age.
But I didn't expect that my children would reject me. My son said that the house was too small and he was afraid that I would feel uncomfortable when I came. In general, he gave a bunch of reasons, one sentence for mom, two sentences for mom. But in my heart, I thought the reason was just that they didn't like me. I think children nowadays are really heartless.
Thinking back, I think the best thing is to rely on yourself. But people who don't have children, don't have to bear the pain of childbirth, don't have to spend energy and money to raise a child. When you're young, work hard, save money, when you're old you can have a free life as you wish. Then, when you reach a certain age, if you want to hire a nanny, want to go to a nursing home, then you can decide.
For as many years as my son has been married, we have been disappointed in him for as many years. Until one time in the hospital, I changed my mind.
The turning point changed thinking
Not long after Tet, due to carelessness, I fell and had back pain so I had to be hospitalized for surgery.
Three days before the surgery, my husband came to the hospital to take care of me. The wound was not too serious, I could eat and clean myself, my husband could help me with some things. But when I finished the surgery and the anesthesia wore off, I could clearly feel how painful the wound was. Just moving a little bit was excruciating.
My husband's health was not good, and with my condition, he had to call the children to take care of my mother.
I thought they wouldn't come, I thought I would have to hire someone from outside. But I was surprised when they showed up. My son stayed with me for a day and then left, from the second day onwards my daughter-in-law and husband took turns taking care of me.
Many people say that having a daughter-in-law to take care of me is great. However, in reality, when my daughter-in-law takes care of me, my child nags a lot. Every day, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have to have a big fight. Every time like that, I tell my child that if he doesn't want to, he can go home, I will hire a nanny when I have money. But no matter what I say, he just says a few words over and over again and then leaves. After a while, his attitude goes back to normal as if nothing happened.
Realize your own happiness
Three days after the surgery, another person came to my ward, Ms. Ha. She had the same pain in her lower back as me and also had to have surgery. Being a sociable person, in less than a day, she and I became acquainted.
After a while, I had to change my mind. She was taken to the hospital by a nephew, and because there was no one to take care of her, she hired a nanny. However, the nanny only looked at her phone all day, and even got angry with Ms. Ha, and went out to play without bringing her food.
Every time I have to ask my daughter-in-law to bring food for my friend. Even though she has met such a bad caregiver, Ha has never wanted to replace her with anyone else. Basically, her nephew holds the salary card so everything has to go through him.
Furthermore, her nephew was not a filial son. Even though she had been in the hospital for more than half a month, I had only seen him come twice. Once was when she was admitted to the hospital, and the second time was when someone needed to sign the surgery papers.
She arrived at the hospital after me. Although her injury was less severe, the doctor advised her to stay in the hospital for observation for a few more days. However, her nephew wanted her to be discharged immediately to pay the insurance bill early.
That day, she sat in a wheelchair and said goodbye to me. She said something that touched my heart: I really admire you, you have a filial daughter-in-law by your side.
At that time, I replied politely: "I admire you, high pension, and caring children and grandchildren."
After saying that, I suddenly felt a little disappointed. I don't know what she was thinking, but after saying that, I realized how lucky I was to have my daughter-in-law and son by my side.
Although I am not always around, when something happens to my family, my children are there immediately. I see that my children are not heartless and meaningless people like I used to think. They have taken care of me for half a month. In this regard, I feel much happier than my sister.
So, after being hospitalized and getting to know her, I realized that having a child is the happiest thing in the world. No matter how high the pension is or how good the nanny is, it is not as good as having a child by your side to take care of you.
Source: https://giadinh.suckhoedoisong.vn/63-tuoi-luong-huu-35-trieu-dong-thang-tung-dau-long-vi-con-trai-tu-choi-song-cung-khi-nam-vien-toi-moi-ngo-ra-phuc-bao-lon-nhat-cua-doi-minh-172240621110909653.htm
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