My colleague's son is in grade 4, his study habits and grades are very good, and he is often praised by his teachers. My colleague has never shown any concern or worry about his child's studies, which makes us parents jealous.
Later, that colleague shared her experience and said that since her child entered kindergarten, her family paid special attention to the three hours after her child came home from school.
In the morning, adults have to go to work, children have to go to school. Her family, like many other families, is extremely busy. The three hours after school are a time for parents and children to communicate deeply, study and play. My colleague calls it the "three golden hours" because she believes that the time children have after school is the same, but the content they can receive after that is very different.
In order to maintain the status of "kind mother, filial child", some parents send their children to extra classes. There are some parents who are tired after a long day and just want to lie on the sofa, watch videos , play games and relax. Some parents choose to give up short-term happiness and spend time understanding their children's school life, helping them form good habits and motivating them in the future.
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You may not notice any difference in a day or two. But after a year or two, the gap between your children is huge.
My colleague's words made me realize. It turns out that how children use the three hours after school is related to their future development. Whether it benefits them throughout their lives depends on the dedication and guidance of parents during the "three golden hours".
Make time to socialize during dinner every day
Parents are busy cooking after work and have no time to talk to their children. So mealtime at the table naturally becomes the best choice for communication between parents and children. The dining table is always a place where the family enjoys a delicious meal together. But some parents prefer to turn it into a placeto educate their children.
A famous TV host once shared in an interview that the scariest moment for her as a child was sitting around the dinner table. Every time her father sat down, he would start his "discipline" regime with her, pointing out what she did wrong here and what she did not do well there.
In such an atmosphere, Dong Qing often cried while eating, feeling helpless and very wronged. She even admitted that the happiest moment for her was when her father went on a business trip. Because this way she could temporarily escape the gloomy atmosphere and have a few days of relaxation.
Eating is a beautiful and enjoyable thing. If children subconsciously associate "eating" with "discipline", no matter how beautiful the meal is, it will become boring. Moreover, this negative emotion will gradually penetrate the child's personality and become an indelible shadow when they grow up.
Previously, there was news in Danyang, Jiangsu, that a 10-year-old boy ran away from home at 10 pm because of poor academic performance and was scolded by his father right at the dinner table. When the police asked why the boy ran away from home. But the answer he received from the child made many parents think deeply. "My father thinks I can't do anything and often compares me with others. If he doesn't like me, I will run away," the boy said.
Indeed, the dinner table should be a place for family members to share warmth and true happiness, not a place for serious questioning like that.
For example, you might ask your child this at dinner:
"Did anything good happen at school today?"
"Did you do anything good today?"
"Did you get anything today?"
"Is there anything you need me to help you with?"
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With just those 4 simple questions, it is certain that children can feel cared for and supported, and at the same time help parents grasp each change and growth of their children, helping the parent-child relationship become more harmonious every day.
However, once the child does not want to talk, parents can first "set an example" by talking about some interesting things at work to stir up the atmosphere and stimulate the child's desire to share more. When the child starts to talk, parents should guide the child properly and promptly, and should not criticize or accuse the child harshly.
Because the most effective communication is emotional, gentle and firm communication. This way, children will trust their parents more and confidently share with them even more.
Study with your children
"If you don't write homework, you will be a good mother and a filial child. If you write homework, you will become a flying chicken and jumping dog" - this is certainly a common scene in every family. There are even cases where parents get sick, sometimes to the point of being hospitalized, just because they are doing homework with their children.
In fact, whether studying or doing homework, you need to form good habits for your children from an early age. If you do not form good habits from an early age, this will not only cause trouble for the children but also put a lot of pressure on the parents. Parents can follow these 3 steps when doing homework with their children:
- Do housework 5 minutes before doing homework.
Sometimes children do not concentrate enough on their homework because they are distracted by the environment, such as the sound of the television, other people talking, or being attracted to toys on the table. It may also be that their own needs are not being met, such as frequent drinking, snacking, and toileting, which takes away from their concentration.
So, before children start doing homework, parents should create a quiet learning environment for them. And let children prepare: keep the desk clean, do not leave toys in front of them, meet physical needs such as drinking water, going to the toilet. If children are hungry, you can give them a snack first. So that when they start doing homework, they can stay focused and not leave their seats.
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- Guide children to arrange homework
Parents can ask their children:
"What homework is there tonight?"
"Which exercise is easier to write?"
"Which exercise is more difficult to write?"
Categorize each homework assignment each day and work with your child to decide in what order they should be written. When completing homework, check off each item and then complete the next one. This can help your child develop a habit of being organized and planned. As the difficulty of the assignment increases and the number of tasks increases, your child’s ability to plan his or her studies will add greatly to his or her learning.
- Help children master testing methods
Kids today are a little bit test-averse. Most kids think that once they finish their homework, they will be fine and can leave the testing to their parents or teachers. In fact, testing is very important. If you master the testing method, you will get twice the results with half the effort. You can try the following methods to help your child:
Check each item one by one: First, check that everything has been completed in order according to the homework list or teacher's requirements to make sure nothing is missed.
Check the format: In an assignment, not only the content is important but also the form. Check if the font is neat and the handwriting is standard, especially for math assignments, check if the formulas and symbols are written correctly.
Logical test: For questions that require logical reasoning, check to see if your reasoning is coherent, logically sound, and free of contradictions.
Review Ideas: For difficult problems, you can review your problem-solving ideas to see if you really understand the problem and whether the problem-solving method is appropriate.
Make time to read every day
Sukhomlynsky said: "A child who does not read is a poor student in learning."
On the contrary, children who love reading will have a bright future. Because each book they read is like a solid stepping stone, helping them to continuously climb to the peak of knowledge. The wisdom contained in the book will penetrate deep into the child’s bones and become a part of their lives.
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Most parents are well aware of the importance of reading, but children seem to have little interest in books, and even forcing them to read books does not achieve the desired results. In fact, every child has the potential to love reading, the important thing is how parents guide them.
- Stimulate a passion for reading and discover the appeal of reading
Why do children lack interest in reading?
The reason is that parents often choose books for their children based on their own understanding or the recommendations of others, ignoring their children's interests, making them passionate about learning. To foster a reading habit in children, the first task is to stimulate their interest in reading.
Parents can start from their child’s interests and choose some books that they like to read. Don’t rush to expose children to esoteric classics, nor limit reading genres such as: science, history, novels and other fields.
Starting from a simple story, parents should gradually guide children to understand the deeper meaning behind the story and explore the characters' growth trajectory, helping children feel a different kind of joy and satisfaction throughout the reading journey.
- Parents set an example and accompany their children in their development.
Reading is not something that children will easily accept simply by giving them bullet points of instruction from their parents. But if parents set an example by holding up a book and reading silently, their children will happily imitate that behavior.
There was a father who insisted on reading with his two sons at home at 8 pm every night. The boys formed a good habit of reading every night just by brainstorming and they did not need any advice from their parents. The words and actions of parents at home often become a model for the children's later maturity.
- Share reading experiences and accumulate knowledge for children
Each book contains different stories and knowledge, which are valuable assets for children's growth. Parents can guide their children to record their understanding and results in the reading process in a timely manner. At the same time, parents can also share their reading experiences and insights with their children, while deepening their children's understanding and memory through communication.
Reading time before bed is a warm and “quality” habit that is indispensable in the daily to-do list. It not only helps you surround your family in a loving atmosphere but also effectively improves your child’s learning ability, arousing their love from an early age.
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The "golden 3 hours" when children come home from school must have a dual function of entertainment, relaxation and knowledge acquisition. During these three precious hours, children can have fun and entertainment while combining learning and reading elements. Such an arrangement not only helps children form good living habits but also creates a warm and happy time for the family.
More importantly, by spending time together like this, both parents and children can grow together while being together so that family affection is strongly strengthened.
Quickly take advantage of the "three golden hours" after school, and your child will definitely change completely.
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