The torment of young Ukrainians who did not join the army

Many young Ukrainians abroad feel guilty for not joining the army, but lack the courage to return to fight for their homeland.

Two weeks before Russia launched its war, Viktor Lesyk moved from the western Ukrainian city of Lviv to Krakow, Poland, for work.

When the fighting broke out, the 25-year-old IT specialist considered returning home to join the army and help push back Russian forces. But in the end, he decided to stay abroad because he didn’t know what he could contribute to the Ukrainian military.

“Maybe I wasn’t strong enough,” Lesyk said, a year and a half after the conflict broke out.

Ukrainian soldiers fire towards Russian positions in the Donetsk region, eastern Ukraine. Photo: Reuters

In the early days of the war, tens of thousands of young Ukrainians signed up to join the army and defend their country, and many returned home from abroad to join the fight. But others followed the conflict from afar, fearful of violence or reluctant to abandon their settled lives abroad.

Now, as the front lines need additional fighting forces and Ukraine seeks to rebuild, the divide between those who remain and those who do not is deepening, threatening the country's long-term recovery.

Ukraine's martial law bans most men between the ages of 18 and 60 from leaving the country and a law has been introduced that allows the military to call up men of fighting age at any time.

Lesyk said his military friends cut off contact with him. When a female friend lost a loved one in battle, she became hostile towards him. That made Lesyk think, "Why wasn't I there? Why did others have to fight for me?"

But despite the gnawing guilt, Lesyk plans to stay in Poland, as long as there are job opportunities.

As the conflict drags on, Ukraine risks losing a generation of talent who have gone abroad in search of a new life.

Behind each decision to avoid military service are complex calculations based on history, family circumstances, emotions, opportunities and personal ambitions, making calls for them to return home difficult to implement. The loss of this resource could undermine Ukraine’s ability to rebuild after the war.

Ukrainian men abroad say they face a constant struggle between personal ambition and duty to their country. They know that returning home could mean conscription, but they also know that their return would boost the numbers at the front and boost morale in a country that has been shaken as fighting enters its 20th month.

Such conflicts cause no small psychological damage to them.

"I'm having a mental breakdown because I really want to go back and I'm thinking of volunteering in a medical institution," said Anatoly Nezgoduk, 20, a student studying in the US who plans to work in Canada.

Nezgoduk's father, who had served in the army, persuaded him not to return to Ukraine in the early days of the war because of his lack of life experience. "Sometimes I felt like I was in the wrong place," he said.

Clinical psychologist Sofiya Terlez says the torment, guilt, and pain of separation from loved ones make many young Ukrainians abroad "lose their joy for life."

Serhiy Ikonnikov, 24, signed a three-year contract with the Ukrainian army after his friend was killed in combat. Ikonnikov still speaks to his Ukrainian friends abroad and understands their choice not to return. “Very few people want to risk their lives,” he said.

“But the reality is that the soldiers on the front lines are tired and need replacements so they can rest and recover,” he added. “Otherwise, the army will be weakened and our ability to win will decline.”

The departure of some Ukrainian men from the country amid the conflict has sparked anger among those who remain, as they face increasingly fierce attacks from Russia.

Borys Khmelevskiy and a close friend joined the 2014 protests that toppled Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych. Khmelevskiy said they shared a vision for the country at the time, and his friend promised to stay and fight if Russia attacked. But when the conflict broke out, his friend fled the country.

“If someone talks about the struggle for freedom and democracy in Ukraine as a fundamental value but then runs away at the moment it is challenged, those are not their values,” Khmelevskiy said, adding that he had not spoken to his friend again for more than a year.

Pavel Pimkin, 21, a Ukrainian student in the UK, said he had met other Ukrainian men who had recently arrived in the country at diaspora events. “They get asked a lot, not why they are here, but how,” Pimkin said.

Another soldier, Andrii Kulibaba, 28, said that from the beginning of the conflict, many acquaintances asked him for advice on how to escape abroad, but he refused. Kulibaba stressed that Ukrainian men should be ready to replace those who have to leave the front. “You can’t say, ‘I don’t know how to do it, I’m not made for fighting.’”

Viktor Lesyk, a young Ukrainian man who left his country for Poland two weeks before the conflict with Russia broke out. Photo: WSJ

Andrii Bilovusiak, 22, dropped the military component of his university degree, which would have made him a reserve officer, to study for a master's degree in public administration in the UK.

Bilovusiak, who has worked in policy and consulting, said his degree would make him more useful to Ukraine as it rebuilds, rather than returning to fight in the current climate. He has no plans to return before 2025.

Kulibaba said those who waited until the fighting was over before returning to rebuild the country could face harsh criticism. "Everyone has the same rights. But the problem here is that these people did not protect the country," he said.

Vu Hoang (According to WSJ )

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