Female boss bitter when employee refuses to pay "buying things for her"

Borrow, ask for help and then... forget

Talking about her frustration and discomfort, Ms. Nguyen Ngoc Dieu, 41 years old, a manager at a media company in District 1, Ho Chi Minh City, also found it hard to believe. However, that is what she is facing in the office environment and has not been able to handle.

The head of content department, known as the boss, actually has only 4 employees under Ms. Dieu, a few years younger than her.

Many people feel frustrated because they are often ordered around and asked for favors at work (Illustration: Thedelite).

The sisters work together quite closely, without much limitation by the distance between superiors and subordinates, so the working environment is quite comfortable. However, the "equal" intimacy with the staff brings Ms. Dieu many unpleasant things.

Ms. Dieu said that for a long time, when the whole office went out to eat, it was assumed that the boss would pay. Except for cases where an individual specifically invited them, the rest was blamed on the boss.

She let it go, sometimes when she was unhappy or out of money, she used the excuse of being busy to refuse to go out to eat with everyone. What annoyed and resented her the most was when the staff often asked her to buy things, pay for this and that but rarely refunded.

She couldn't remember how many times, with shared expenses or travel expenses, the staff would ask: "Please send it now and I'll return it when I get back". Even for funeral expenses, she was also told "put it in an envelope for me" and then... ignored. She was embarrassed and couldn't ask.

The most resentful and annoying "boss" is the female employee named Hang, only 2 years younger than her, who often "asks" her to buy this and that. Knowing that the boss's house is near the fruit farm, Hang sometimes asks her to buy a few kilos of longan, another day she asks her to buy a kilo of custard apple, another day she asks her to buy some mango. Not to mention she also asks her to pay for meals, milk tea... but only sends money back once in a while.

Ms. Dieu had repeatedly brought home her frustration about being "cheated by soldiers" to her husband, and he advised her to learn to refuse if she was unclear. She also promised herself many times to say "no" when asked to do unreasonable things.

But when the other side spoke, she felt like something was stuck in her throat, she nodded, unable to say no. Just last week, Hang asked her to buy a salted chicken for 285,000 VND and then... she was silent, not seeing any payment.

Saying "no" or refusing other people's requests is difficult for many people (Illustration photo).

Another employee complained that he was broke and borrowed 1 million VND from his boss to take his mother to an eye doctor last month. After receiving his salary, there was still no news.

The money may not be much, but Ms. Dieu feels overwhelmed with frustration and discomfort. She blames herself for always being too accommodating, always afraid of offending others, and always having to swallow the bitter pill.

Outwardly rude, inwardly resentful

Recently, a human resources forum was abuzz with the story of "coworkers borrowing motorbikes". A female employee on her first day at work told a story about a colleague borrowing her motorbike to go home at noon. Without thinking, the new employee agreed and from that day until now, every noon the colleague has borrowed the motorbike to go home.

I thought that my colleague only borrowed the car when he was in a pinch, but unexpectedly my personal property was taken out to be "scraped". But when my colleague borrowed the car, the employee still smiled and nodded comfortably, even though he was feeling frustrated inside.

Immediately, stories of "using free stuff", "borrowing and forgetting to pay back"... in the office were dug up. Many people at work feel resentful when their colleagues borrow things, ask for favors, borrow from them and then... forget about them.

At a human resources program in Ho Chi Minh City, a cultural researcher shared that one of the limitations in the working environment in Vietnam is that people are often too lenient and afraid to express their opinions and views.

Learning to say "no" is a necessary lesson for everyone (Illustration photo).

She analyzed that this comes from the Vietnamese mentality of "hoping for favorable weather, calm seas and calm skies", as long as everything outside is peaceful, regardless of the storms inside.

In fact, research on human resource organization has confirmed that lack of criticism and reluctance to express opinions not only affects work efficiency but also affects relationships at work.

In Vinh Phuc , there was an incident where a colleague was hacked to death because of frustration or being asked to do favors or errands.

A research result once pointed out that Vietnamese people are the least argumentative in Asia. According to Professor Huynh Van Son, Principal of Ho Chi Minh City University of Education, Vietnamese people tend to "keep peace", when there is an argument or disagreement, they rarely express their own opinions, mainly "forget it and let it go".

Forbearance may be "healthy" and help to ease the situation when it is tense, but it can easily lead to the misconception that the relationship is still good and unresolved issues still exist. As a result, conflicts that arise become increasingly difficult to resolve.

Source link: https://dantri.com.vn/lao-dong-viec-lam/sep-nu-ngam-dang-khi-nhan-vien-quyt-tien-mua-do-giup-em-20230720095359450.htm