“I didn't know how to maintain a family”

"Silk - 10 years " - "old bottle, new wine"?

It is a new yet old project, because it was originally an oratorio that I had staged 10 years ago, inspired by the famous book of the same name by the Italian writer Alessandro Baricco. 19 works (including instrumental music) that were performed live in August 2013 have now been converted into songs and shortened into an album of 9 songs, performed by 3 voices Pham Hoai Nam, Trini and Da Ngan. It is a reminder of memories for those who saw "Lua" 10 years ago, now reborn in a new form, but for those who hear it for the first time, they can receive it as an album of new songs by Quoc Bao.

After 10 years, the album release scene has changed a lot, when valuation is measured by views, likes..., instead of "best-selling albums", do you feel pressured? Is there a time when you feel a bit "out of date"?

Not at all out of date, on the contrary, it's "right on time". I have a distribution contract on various platforms and am not pressured or forced to promote the product. So it's much lighter than releasing a CD.

“I am stoic with myself so I only feel satisfied in my work”

But what if that quantification is not as expected, because this type of opera will certainly be much more selective of listeners than the previous "elegant, flirtatious" songs?

Not picky at all. My fans listen to it all the time. "Silk - 10 Years" is a light album for me because I've changed the opera into a song. To be fair, I feel like I've written better and more beautifully since then.

After more than 30 years in the profession, have you "narrowed down" which group of your fans are?

They are still "acquainted strangers" and are still there, still loyal and constantly connected.

Many artists "guarantee" themselves by working with long-time collaborators. You don't, even though you have had the chance to work with famous singers: My Tam, Ha Tran... Is it because you are difficult, making people hesitate to stay with you for a long time, or is it easier to approach and impose with new collaborators?

Everything has its time and phase. Those famous stars, I haven't worked with them for a long time, I don't have their names in my head. Those who have grown up, I have to let them fly away! I like to find new faces that not many people know. Obviously they will be more faltering and clumsy than experienced singers, but in return they have a fresh innocence. I don't care too much about maturity in singing. Technique will gradually improve over time, but the fresh innocence will never come back. The most precious, the most quintessential thing about a voice, is the "you come back pure".

What is a pure person, according to you?

Pure, innocent, intelligent

“I am not the type to wait for inspiration to write. Every day I sit at my desk and write like a desk clerk.”

Men help women become experienced and mature (?!). Then in turn they "force" women to maintain their innocence, how puzzling?

That makes it difficult for men too! Time and this life make it difficult for everyone to maintain their innocence. Le Hieu, for example, once told me: "You're too much of a man now!". Me too. Age 50 is different from 30. The innocence is much less, no matter how much you try to salvage it, it can't be called innocence! And if you salvage it, it can't be called innocence anymore!

I like to search for Indie artists. Independent artists, even when they have stepped into the light and have encountered the market, somewhere still sparkle the beauty of innocence that is ingrained in their blood.

I still remember My Tam when she was 19-20 years old, when she lived at my house, practiced with me, listened to my CDs and was taken to sing at teahouses by me. Tam was strangely innocent at that time.

Bringing unknown faces to light, I find more joy than working with old faces.

The lyrics in " Silk - 10 Years " seem rougher and simpler, instead of being smooth like in " You're Back Pure" , " And I'm With Nourishment "... Is it because it's inherently a drama, or is it because you like "rustic"?

The me of 2023 and U.60 must of course be much different from the me of U.30!

My first songs in 1991 were still very melodious. I didn't like them. Gradually, I learned to write more simply and directly. Luckily, that simplicity was also very Quoc Bao, not mixed with anyone else's.

What is simplicity?

Be direct, straightforward, and don't use unnecessary words.

But it seems like he still hasn't "cured the disease of... living a stylish life", at least on Facebook, with countless statuses about tea, perfume, cameras...?

I live the way I want and I'm happy. That's enough.

Behind the somewhat austere appearance, where do you find yourself happy and miserable?

I am stoic with myself so I only find satisfaction in work. But I am a happy person.

How do you feel when you listen to Em ve tinh khoi again ?

Regretful.

Regret? Because the "muse" has run out of magic?

No, not really because of its content. People can borrow it to "flirt with girls", now it belongs to everyone! It's not at all wrong. It's just that now, I'm bored with myself at that time. If I could write it again, I would probably write more simply, less flowery. Luckily, Ha Tran's singing of it didn't sound flowery.

“I am not the type to wait for inspiration to write. Every day I sit at my desk and write like a desk clerk.”

For example which sentence?

"After a hundred years, you come back pure and innocent". Oh my god, how can anyone go through a hundred years and still be pure and innocent!

You can totally fix it, just take… five years to be sure!

It's fixed, I've fixed it. Because it's done its job, it's had a life of its own, and a lucky one at that: A debut, okay, but a bigger success than it deserved.

Even Lev Tolstoy sometimes found the whole War and Peace meaningless!

No, but I still like Brown Hair, Dark Lips. It still fits today, has the breath of today. It is My Tam's 20s, and also many people's. I like its rhythm.

" When sad, people sing in each other's hands ", but it's so happy: " Who would have thought, the sun is so bright/People will see red feet, and will dance happily/The road home is as happy as if it was just built in a dream... ". It's quite melodious, why don't you... regret it?

That joy is different from the joy in Em ve tinh khoi, because in joy there is sadness, in sadness there is joy. Em ve tinh khoi is too much joy, and all joy is not worth it.

Your later compositions seem to be more somber?

After Covid-19, I released the album Ballad'23, which included songs composed during the period of social distancing. Writing sad songs was clearly a real need, it reflected my true mood and true self at that time: uncertain about the future, there were long days when I was restless and couldn't write anything, just waiting for the time to... go to the market. But when I compressed them into an album, I felt that the whole thing brought a bad energy. It made me regret because I should have written more optimistically, more brightly, instead of allowing myself to be so freely sad. It was a dark album. Shouldn't have, should have.

Too happy or too sad both make you regret?

I would classify Em Ve Tinh Khoi as a debut work, which was good at the time. As for Quoc Bao 2023, it is not allowed to be like that. At a certain age, especially men, I think you need to know how to control your emotions rather than letting yourself be too happy or too sad.

I also used to use " Silk " as a pillow, and was captivated by those silky-soft lines: "... Wind, wind is only one: but on this water surface, it seems like thousands of winds are blowing at the same time. From all directions. What a scene. As light as silk and inexplicable, my life... " Have you ever tried to explain your life, at least at the turning point: The love affair with "you returned pure and innocent" ended happily after nearly 10 years of love, but in the end, it vanished like smoke?

Before and after we decided to end it, we even spent a long time not talking to each other. Sometimes a relationship suddenly loses connection without being able to do anything about it or explain it.

His stern face seemed to give away a default: He was quite the patriarch?

I'm not patriarchal. Actually, that's not true. I'm not wrong. She's not wrong either. Maybe at that time, the main reason was that she wanted to break out to be an independent woman, to have her own career...

Is it not patriarchal to prevent his woman from finding her own place? Is that need unreasonable?

The point is that some arrangement needs to be made. To focus on raising the child. And at that time, the two of them could not agree (but not without the possibility that at another time they could agree).

I'm not patriarchal, but I care about parents spending as much time as possible with their children. I also sacrificed part of my career at that time.

"At another time can be negotiated", sounds a bit regretful?

No. She and I loved each other for 8 years, and separated when our child was only 2 years old. We have gone through all the ups and downs, there is nothing left to regret. I emphasize the timing because in 2004, life was not easy. Freelance work, sometimes ups and downs, finances sometimes fluctuated, not ensuring a living. Being famous is one thing, but it does not mean it will bring a comfortable standard of living. At that time, I was a 32-year-old man, but I was still a bit confused, not knowing how to manage that family. It was only after the divorce that I truly became a man who knew how to take care of my mother and son.

govern?

Maybe I shouldn't use that word. Maintain is more like it.

Xuan Dieu once wrote a poem about the first young starfruit of the season: " Oh! From nothing to something/How did it happen? ". So for you, "from something to nothing"?

It goes smoothly. When both feel that they can't go on with each other, it's best to break up.

But he won custody?

Because at that time, of the two of us, I was the more stable one.

Did you know that one of your hits, " Con ta voi nong nom " was changed to " Con ta voi… long ban " to refer to men whose wives left them and no one to cook for them?

Is that true? But probably not for me, since I mostly eat out. Although she is a great cook, and loves to cook.

Where do "good girls, come out and look" usually appear? It's still a very musical excuse: Must there be a beautiful woman to write love songs?

The real beauty only appeared after my divorce. I don't need that excuse because I'm not the type to write on impulse. Every day I sit at my desk and write like a bureaucrat.

Basically, will a novel like " Silk " "spoil" you or teach you?

I'm interested in the affair story in it. The love stories overlap, it's hard to get out whether one wants to or not.

What about you, have you ever wanted to escape?

No, I never cheated.

Are you sure?

Rather, I am faithful to one girl at a time.

“I am stoic with myself so I only feel satisfied in my work”

How long does that cycle usually last?

Long! But often I was abandoned for not fulfilling my responsibilities to them. The concern for my son was too great. Especially during the two years he had a crisis of puberty, enough to make me worry.

Do you think you have loved enough?

Surplus is different. Enough to last until the next life. Now, I can probably… endure it. In the past, people could understand when we loved like crazy. Now, we shouldn't.

There is a saying: "When young, love like crazy, when old, love like crazy", do you consider yourself old?

Over 50 is old!

There are days when I see him post 3-4 "tuts" on Facebook. Is that a sign of loneliness and insecurity?

Simply because… I have free time. Some days I only post 5-6 times. Usually, I allow myself about ten days off after a month of working hard.

The most uncertain time has actually passed. It was around 2019, when I was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor, my eyes suddenly became blurry and I couldn’t see clearly. At that time, my spirit was very low, almost falling into depression because of the fear of going blind, not being able to take care of my child and not being able to see him every day. And after recovering, I decided to set a new milestone for myself: I would work until I was 65, then stop completely and spend time playing around.

Which lyrics of that guy Quoc Bao do you think have applied to your life?

"Let's be happy, we rarely have fun"...

"Whenever happy" is in which period?

Anytime. But I am still a sad person. My biggest obsession in the past 10 years has been health and raising children. And work.

The owner of a series of hits that once helped people "pick up girls" now only cares about work, health... and declared to "abstain from love", is that a sign of... "gradually losing innocence"?

It seems that when people only talk about health and work, that is the purest!

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