Becoming a 4.0 parent

Safegate offers schools and parents solutions to protect children online.

Respecting your child's privacy is protecting them.

As a secondary school teacher, Ms. TTTram (Hoai Duc, Hanoi ) finds it difficult to instruct her children on how to use the Internet. “Although I have a more modern mindset than parents in the past, when I see my children using the computer for too long, I still find it difficult to control myself and sometimes raise my voice and try to control them,” Ms. Tram said.

When talking to the parents of students in the class, Ms. Tram received sympathy from many people. Parents all said that sometimes stressful work and busy housework make them more strict when facing their children.

“Some of my students’ families have parents who confiscate all their children’s devices and even turn off the entire family’s WiFi so that they can focus on studying. In my opinion, that is too much,” Ms. Tram shared.

Ms. Tram also knows that banning or controlling is not the best solution, especially when children are in puberty and want to explore and express themselves. During the parent-teacher meeting, she proactively organized a discussion for parents to share their opinions on supporting their children's Internet use.

“That was also an opportunity for me to look back and find the right solutions with my colleagues. As parents in the 4.0 era, we also need to have 4.0 methods as guides for our children.”

According to Ms. Tram, the first step is to truly respect your child, understanding that they also need private space on the Internet, not just their own room. “When they are empowered, they will feel more trusted and responsible. Isn’t that good for them, protecting them?”, Ms. Tram shared.

In fact, the current legal system in our country on children's privacy and the contents of children's privacy have been stipulated in the Law on Children. In addition to avoiding information leaks that harm the safety of adolescents, parents also need to let their children explore freely. In the 4.0 era, learning is an important right of adolescents to develop and contribute positive values to humanity.

Parents also have to "learn" how to accompany their children.

Ms. Tram shared in the parent meeting that the method that received the most consensus was to integrate with the child. “Being older does not mean that we cannot use or understand the foundations and language styles of our children. On the contrary, we must understand so that we can know how to protect our children better, instead of controlling them. This is also something I have to learn more about.”

Forbidding and controlling, whether overt or “secret,” more or less create negative psychology for children. Sometimes, teenagers will react negatively when they realize they are being controlled.

Thanh Nhan (HCMC) - TikTok content creator (@nhandian) with 680 thousand followers said: “I used to be a teenager, so I understand better than anyone the issue of being criticized and controlled by parents when using social networks. Now, having grown up and working directly in the digital environment, I realize that safety actually depends on how each person uses the Internet. Each platform has strict security rules, as well as its own safety features that I wish someone had told me about earlier when I was young.

For example, with TikTok, the Smart Family feature will help families adjust safety settings based on individual needs. Parents do not need to log into their child's account but can still: Limit screen time; Filter, manage displayed content and recommendations... If parents know about features like this and the family has a discussion and consensus before applying, it will be a great solution."

According to a survey by the Ministry of Labor, War Invalids and Social Affairs , in the first 3 months of 2023, 89% of children accessed and used the Internet, of which 87% used the Internet daily. The Internet has become a part of children's lives and is difficult to "cut off".

When accompanying their children on the Internet, parents not only need to be close, but also need to equip themselves with the right knowledge. To do that, each parent needs to spend time researching, as well as talking with their children. Participate with your children to grasp their thoughts, recognize changes in thinking or psychology. At this time, the companionship becomes more practical and beneficial.

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