From Memory: Sweet Weddings of the Past

There are memories that pass through the years and every time I recall them, my heart suddenly flutters and flutters. Among them, the images of weddings in the past are still imprinted in my mind like a sweet memory. Back then, weddings were not only a private affair of the couple but also a festival for the whole neighborhood, the whole village...

Just hearing the news that a family in the village was getting married, the atmosphere was bustling for many days before. Young men invited each other to go around the village to borrow tables and chairs. Some carried them on their shoulders, others pushed the creaking cart, laughing and talking as they walked, waking up the quiet country road. Women were busy going to each other's houses to borrow trays, bowls, chopsticks, and cups. The aluminum trays had faded in color, the porcelain bowls were ivory, although not uniform, but when placed on the table, they still lit up in the common joy. A skillful man was assigned to decorate the stage, carefully cutting out the names of the bride and groom and the bright red character "hỷ", drawing a pair of doves holding a flower branch and then carefully hanging it on a simple green backdrop. We children also chattered and pulled each other to cut coconut leaves, sitting around him weaving each coconut leaf, forming a rustic welcome gate that everyone passing by had to stop and look at.

A Hanoi wedding in the early 20th century/ Illustration/ tuoitrethudo.vn.

On the wedding day, the whole neighborhood was busy preparing the feast. The fat pig that had been raised for many months was slaughtered the previous evening and divided into portions for each dish. Some cooked, some picked vegetables, some washed rice, washed dishes... The sound of knives and chopping boards, the calls to each other, and the laughter mixed in the billowing smoke created an atmosphere that was both exciting and warm with the love of the neighborhood. The feast that day was simple, but all the guests found it delicious, because behind each simple dish was sincerity and the hard work of many people.

The wedding that day was not just about eating and drinking. In the evening, after the food was cleared away, the whole neighborhood gathered in the large yard. The live band played familiar tunes by the band Modern Talking, and that was also the time when young men and women innocently danced and laughed loudly. Adults sat with cups of tea, lit cigarettes, and leisurely watched the children play. The music and laughter mixed with the village night wind, creating a bustling, cozy atmosphere.

On the morning of the wedding day, the groom wore black pants, a white shirt, and a red flower pinned to his chest, both solemn and confused. The bride wore simple makeup, her face shy, her eyes red, and she sobbed as she said goodbye to her parents and went to her husband's house. The procession of people taking the bride stretched along the bamboo-shaded village road, the sounds of greetings and congratulations echoed throughout the countryside. Arriving at the groom's house, the ceremony of burning incense for the ancestors took place in the solemn presence of relatives from both sides, accompanied by simple but earnest instructions.

Nowadays, weddings are much different from the past. The banquet is full of delicious food. The tables and chairs are rented in the same style, the restaurant is decorated beautifully. The flower gate is made of fresh flowers, the lights are colorful. However, in that fullness, the old spirit is missing, the bustling stories around the kitchen smoke are missing. Wedding guests now often just enjoy the food, say a few wishes and then hurry home...

Thinking back to those weddings, I feel an inexhaustible nostalgia. Even though today we have more material things and a more comfortable life, perhaps we still need to preserve something of the old spirit. Because a wedding is not only a happy day for the couple, but also an occasion for human love, village love, and neighborly love to be connected and nurtured. I miss so much the patchwork wedding tent, the borrowed tables and chairs, the coconut leaf gate made by our children, and the simple but affectionate rustic feast. Every time I think back, my heart feels restless as if I have just lost a part of a pure, innocent memory that is hard to replace...

Source: https://baosonla.vn/van-hoa-xa-hoi/tu-trong-ky-uc-than-thuong-dam-cuoi-ngay-xua-A8QJwZkvg.html