Li Doi marries himself

Marrying Yourself (Da Nang Publishing House, 2025) by Ly Doi - at first sounds like an idea that goes against conventional practice, but is not impossible - especially since the author said that "since 2022, many women around the world have declared to marry themselves (sologamy)."

The work "Marrying myself" by author Ly Doi.

If you read from top to bottom, Ly Doi's new book becomes a headline that arouses curiosity. But in fact, just having the name Ly Doi on the cover of the book is enough to make readers curious. If you sit with him for a couple of hours, you will absorb many stories into your mind. With Ly Doi, even seemingly absurd stories become romantic, indisputable (who would argue with a Quang Nam journalist), then laugh, then be happy, a rare laugh in a life full of troubles.

Open with the strange

From an idea, to an essay, then to a conclusion: "Living with other people and the other gender is difficult, but living with yourself is equally difficult. Therefore, every choice is a private right, but have your own opinion and don't be absolutely idealistic about anything."

The story opens with a strange thing and ends with an eternal thing: “don’t be absolutely idealistic about anything” - not only true for marrying yourself but also for many other complicated and diverse things in the human world. No matter how you live or what you choose, you should remember that you are a finite thing within the infinite, to know how to maintain your own opinions but at the same time also know how to accept differences.

I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but the article “Marrying Yourself” is on page 69 of the book. Favorable and unfavorable sometimes coexist in the same entity. Knowing this, my mind is at peace.

The forty-four articles (I roughly counted) in the essay collection "Marrying Myself" all maintain that spirit - maintaining a consistency in tone, problem development, and writing style.

There, readers find the freedom but not off-topic, the witty banter but not procrastinating. Each article is short, with a clear conclusion, suitable for reading while waiting for a bus - to immediately break away from this issue and prepare to enter another.

Author Ly Doi himself confided on the fourth cover that he “tried to write as briefly as possible (mostly 800 words) about seemingly complex and multifaceted issues, with the hope that readers would easily grasp them.” That said, it is not intended to introduce this as a book to read for fun, although I believe that in a few short moments, the words in “Marrying Myself” helped me temporarily forget my worries.

Quang Substance

Talking about East to West, from old stories (which are current) like “Vietnamese Feminism - a hundred-year story” to modern stories like “The rustic quality of ChatGPT”; from stories on earth like “What do antiques tell us”, to stories in the sky like “The finger pointing at the moon”… with lots of interesting information.

Ly Doi presents books to writer and journalist Le Minh Quoc. Photo: NVCC

That is not to mention that every now and then the reader is “treated” to… poetry by the author, as if in the same article, the essayist Ly Doi takes the poet Ly Doi by the hand to the middle of the page, to read a poem related to the topic of the article. Almost summarizing, or echoing, the words on the page have stopped before the full stop, but the thoughts after that full stop on the page are not limited by the physicality of the book but seem to stretch on. To ponder. Or maybe to forget.

Ly Doi was born in Quang Nam and worked for a Saigon newspaper. He brought Quang's essence into his essays in the collection "Marrying Yourself" but with more restraint, probably to suit the general public. The Quang's essence in this work, as Ly Doi said - "I argue, that means I exist" - is a manifesto for the writing spirit (and perhaps the living spirit) that he has expressed in his literary works.

Arguing here is not about "arguing to win" but about not being at peace with what has been presented and become a habit so that it is easy to accept and let go, but about debating and looking at the problem thoroughly with an open and fearless spirit.

Anyway, it is time to conclude. Because as Ly Doi borrowed the words of Mr. Bui Giang's warning - which he used to name one of the articles in the collection: "Say that: Saying more is wrong" and I also want to hear him advise us to enter spring instead of choosing to talk about spring.

But let me add a postscript. In an article of “Marrying Myself”, you mentioned the story of “Chau Ve Hop Pho”. With this book, it can be considered as welcoming “Ly Doi to Hop Pho”.

Source: https://baoquangnam.vn/ly-doi-ket-hon-voi-chinh-minh-3156753.html