The article below is the perspective of Mr. An Phu - a Literature teacher in Ho Chi Minh City, on the phenomenon of many parents showing off their children's academic achievements on social networks at the end of the school year.

Summer is coming, schools are about to summarize the school year, award outstanding students; at the same time, organize parent meetings to announce learning results. After these summaries of the school year, many parents often go online to "show off" their children's academic achievements. Although this is a natural psychology, parents should consider it because the consequences of social networks are often difficult to control and unpredictable.

Parents have the right to be proud of their children.

Academic results not only reflect the student’s own efforts, but also demonstrate the support of parents throughout the school year, from paying for tuition, transportation, to finding good teachers and tutoring centers… how much effort and money has been devoted to their children. Therefore, good academic results for the whole year are something to be proud of for both students and parents, and it is normal to brag a little about their children.

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After the end of the school year, many parents post pictures of their children's academic results on social media. Photo: Facebook screenshot.

Everyone knows that raising a well-behaved, studious child is not a simple task, especially nowadays, when each family has only one or two children, and children are sometimes the ideals and reasons for living of parents. They can sacrifice everything for their children, along with the expectations placed on them. When their children's academic results are high, parents can "hold their heads high" in front of friends, colleagues, and everyone around them. The success of their children can sometimes go beyond the joy of the family, becoming the pride of the clan and the village. We Vietnamese people have a tradition of loving to learn, so children's academic results are the measure and standard of success.

Show off your children carefully, or else the benefits will not outweigh the harm.

As a teacher, when returning test papers, I often tactfully keep students' scores secret because I understand that some students with low scores will feel shy in front of their friends; at the same time, I also want to avoid creating comparisons and jealousy among students in the class. Each student has different abilities in each subject, so it is normal for one subject to have a low score and another subject to have a high score.

During parent-teacher conferences, when I send out student reports, I also hand each student’s report card to each parent, to ensure respect for both students and parents. However, after the meeting, the teachers’ tactfulness becomes meaningless when parents “show off” their children’s scores publicly on social media.

Although we know that “show off the good, hide the bad”, parents who show off their children’s report cards and award photos online must be those with high scores and excellent achievements, but this action can create a “other people’s child” mentality towards the rest of the class. Such a shared post can cause comparisons and even scolding from other parents towards their children, unintentionally affecting the psychology of students with poor academic performance. This action can even affect the students who are “showing off” because many students do not want their academic results to be discussed and commented on on social networks.

We all know that it is difficult to control the compliments and criticisms of others. For young students, whose mentality is not yet stable, compliments can make them arrogant and subjective, while criticism can make them negative and depressed.

Parents should not think that if their children study well and are well-behaved, they will not be criticized by others. People's mouths are very tricky. There are many reasons people can give such as: High scores are due to cheating, teachers are biased, extra classes, luck, etc.

Sometimes parents' praise for their children affects the friendship and solidarity of students in the class. Children have beautiful, innocent friendships of school age, but the actions of parents can unintentionally cause jealousy, self-esteem, and alienation among friends. Adults and children are more or less selfish in their hearts, and find it difficult to accept others being better than them. Competition can be a driving force, but it can also put pressure on students. Do not let children use every means to be better than their friends because this can lead to unpredictable consequences.

Showing off scores sometimes puts pressure on children, because children understand that they are the hope and pride of their parents. If they do not make an effort and do not get good results, they will disappoint their parents, leading to children only knowing how to study, not having fun and developing comprehensively. Many students burst into tears when receiving a test with a score that is not as expected, because they are afraid of making their parents sad, afraid of being blamed, even scolded by their parents. If the pressure continues like that, I am afraid that at some point the children will become depressed, afraid, and alienated from their own parents.

Need to encourage children appropriately

Instead of showing off your children on social media, we can choose appropriate ways to encourage and reward them. Some parents can reward them with a trip , a visit to their hometown, or buy their children their favorite items to acknowledge their efforts during the school year.

We often say that we must create for students “every day at school is a happy day” - that happiness comes not only from teachers and friends but also from the family. Parents should accompany their children. If their children’s academic results are not good, parents should still be happy because their children have tried their best. I hope parents understand and put less pressure and expectations on their children, so that their children can be happy in the loving arms of their parents.

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Source: https://vietnamnet.vn/ly-do-thay-giao-day-van-mong-bo-me-dung-len-mang-khoe-thanh-tich-hoc-tap-cua-con-2404162.html