The time of raising children

Raising children is both a joy and a challenge for young families. Photo: THIEN AN

Taking care of newborn babies, parents worry about everything

While walking for morning exercise, Ms. Minh (living in Vinh Long province) said that the other day she texted Tu - her son who is in Ho Chi Minh City: "Are you really going to leave your child for me to raise?". She asked for clarification because she only heard rumors from her mother's family, while Tu's wife was in confinement at her parents' house.

Tú texted his mother right away: “Please help me, I’m out of options.” I laughed when I heard her story, thinking about the child. The first child was welcomed by both parents, relatives, and family members. But his wife had just given birth last month, and the following month Tú had to exclaim, “I’m out of options.” It sounded like Tú and his wife had given birth to a dozen children. Funny, but completely understandable.

Nowadays, after getting married and having a baby, it is already a joy and a relief for the couple, because there are so many cases of infertility, wanting a child, seeking all kinds of treatment but not being able to have one. But when the child is born, another problem arises: who will take care of the child if there is no paternal or maternal help?

Tu and his wife work in the city, if there is no one to take care of the child, they are forced to send their child to the hospital until the maternity leave is over, and Tu's wife can still go to work. Tu's wife said that a colleague also sent her child to work. The monthly deposit is 7 million VND, not including diapers, milk, when the child is sick... Roughly calculated, it is more than ten million VND per month. That amount of money almost takes up Tu's wife's entire monthly salary. But if she chooses to quit her job to take care of her older child, then go back to work, she will be even more hesitant, because it is not easy to find a job in the current situation, not to mention starting in a new environment is always more difficult.

Parents leave their newborn babies with strangers, with so much worry in their hearts. They have spent money and cannot avoid feeling insecure because of the many heartbreaking stories in the press about sending their children to the “wrong address”. Therefore, it is best if grandparents can help take care of them. However, not all grandparents are at the age where they are healthy enough to take care of their grandchildren.

Ms. Minh is over 60 years old and not very healthy. Just thinking about staying up all night to change diapers and feed her grandchild, then struggling during the day without being able to leave, her life would be significantly disrupted, but she loves her child and grandchild so much that she cannot refuse.

Grandparents also have to complain to heaven

My sister went to take care of her eldest daughter's grandchild who got married in Japan. The regulations there do not allow mothers to work, so it was like two mothers and one child, which was less difficult. But when my grandchild had a second child, my grandmother had to cry because it was too much work.

Even though there are only two of us, my grandchild still sent his older child to daycare at the age of 8 months so that he could be exposed to a collective environment and receiveeducation from school. Every day, the baby's father goes to work from early morning until late at night. Picking up and dropping off the child is completely up to the mother. At that time, the grandmother at home is also busy with the younger child, then eating, washing clothes.

So she was known as an overseas worker, but when she returned home, she was emaciated because she had lost several kilos. She said: "I was busy all day without stopping". People joked that thanks to that, she was healthier, otherwise she would get sick without work. That said, at her age of over 60, the most important thing is to stay healthy, do light exercise, eat and rest well, that is ideal, not to be busy with a newborn baby. But leaving her child to take care of two children by herself, in a place where there are no relatives, and no one to ask for help, she could not bear it. So she decided to go home to rest for a few days, then go back to help her child take care of her grandchild.

Minh said, thinking back, she realized how good her parents were in the past. She remembered when her mother gave birth to Ut, at that time, when her father saw her giving birth, he hurriedly ran to call the midwife. At home, only Minh and her younger brother were by her mother's side. Mother couldn't wait for the midwife to come, when Ut was about to be born, she called Minh: "Bring the basin back". So Minh only had time to push the basin in, Ut fell neatly into the basin. The midwife came to do the rest, and that was it.

After that, the older child took care of the younger child, and Minh's mother did not have time to rest. A few days later, she was busy in the pig pen and chicken coop. Yet the children grew up healthy and strong.

But each era is different, you can't force this era to the past. How can you say that the children of the Alpha generation now (born from 2010 to now) don't have access to phones and the internet like children in the past, especially when that generation has been familiar with smart technology and artificial intelligence since birth.

Therefore, taking care of a child is now different, more difficult, more expensive, forcing parents to be most carefully prepared, both financially and in terms of knowledge and spirit to face and overcome all difficulties, only then will they be ready to welcome a new member to their small family.

LIGHT

Source: https://www.sggp.org.vn/thoi-oan-minh-nuoi-con-post798592.html