People who are indifferent to March 8

Tuan Hung is always indifferent to March 8 because he believes that if society still allows a day dedicated to women, then it has not achieved complete gender equality.

The 21-year-old man, a university student in Hanoi, has always been taught that International Women’s Day, March 8, is a day to support gender equality. On this day, women need to be cared for by society, compensated for the disadvantages and hardships of the year. However, Hung believes that care and respect are a long-term process, not just a day.

"Women are like flowers, they cannot be beautiful if they are only cared for once or twice a year, but every day, every hour," Hung said. The guy affirmed that love does not need to wait for a holiday, giving flowers does not need an occasion and texting does not need a reason.

This is also the reason why for many years Hung did not give gifts to his grandmother or mother on March 8. In return, when he returned to his hometown, he always took the initiative to cook or buy practical gifts for everyone when he received his monthly salary from his extra job.

Viet Tu, 27 years old, an IT employee in Ho Chi Minh City, considers March 8th as a normal day. According to him, buying flowers and gifts on this occasion is just a business trick of stores to increase prices or due to crowd psychology. This thinking makes Tu get nagged and talked to dryly by his wife, so every time he comes home, he always feels heavy and frustrated.

"I don't like giving gifts if I'm forced to. Besides, there are many occasions during the year for couples to celebrate, not just March 8th because everywhere is crowded and expensive," Tu said.

According to him, "nagging" should only happen to those who do not care about their wives and children. Gifts are like a once-a-year reward that helps women "feel proud" and then the following days they are alone busy with housework, working and taking care of children. If you have a heart, there are thousands of ways to express it, not necessarily giving gifts on the right occasion.

A young man is choosing flowers to give to his girlfriend on March 8 on Nguyen Thi Dinh Street, Cau Giay District, Hanoi, on the afternoon of March 5. Photo: TN

According toeducation expert Vu Thu Huong, former lecturer at Hanoi Pedagogical University, the dislike of March 8th by some men is understandable.

March 8 was born from the international movement for women's equality, originating from the International Socialist Women's Congress held in Denmark in 1910 with the slogan "8-hour work day - Equal work - Equal wages - Protection of mothers and children". This day therefore reminds everyone that women are still disadvantaged, society must do more to promote gender equality, as well as recognize their sacrifices.

However, the meaning of this day is different from the past, Vietnamese women have been treated more fairly. Their role is increasingly promoted, breaking out of the family framework. Many people believe that if we honor sacrifice as a noble quality, it is no different from encouraging women to continue to sacrifice. If so, society will sink them deeper into accepting and enduring disadvantages.

"Therefore, the existence of a day dedicated to women is not enough to achieve complete gender equality," said Ms. Huong.

A survey conducted by VnExpress in early March found that nearly 70% of readers said that there are many ways to express feelings, not necessarily choosing occasions like March 8. Social media posts sharing this topic also received a lot of attention. Most opinions said that this day is currently a formality, not everyone understands its full meaning.

Psychologist Nguyen Thi Minh, lecturer at the Ho Chi Minh National Academy of Public Administration, said there are three main reasons why some men are indifferent to March 8.

Firstly, collective activities to celebrate this holiday from school, home to workplace are often repetitive, formal, and boring. Secondly, activities organized to show gratitude often require women to do more work such as performing arts, home economics competitions, making them feel tired instead of honored. Besides, the high price of flowers and gifts makes many people complain about the expense.

Despite being a woman, Thu Lan, a civil servant in Thai Binh, is not excited about March 8. Instead of resting and relaxing on this day, the 25-year-old girl has to practice performing arts, sew ao dai for an office beauty contest, and some years she has to compete in a cooking competition in the office or attend a discussion honoring women.

"It's not interesting at all, it just makes me more tired. There's a lot of work at the beginning of the year, so I have to waste time on empty activities," Lan said.

To avoid falling into a state of depression like Lan, expert Vu Thu Huong believes that there is no need for a gift-giving holiday, but a day for society to reflect on the value of women in the family. This will give them more opportunities to strive and assert their position.

Expert Nguyen Thi Minh affirmed that giving flowers and gifts is just a formality. According to her, there are husbands who do not give flowers or say sweet words but respect their wives and work hard with their partners to raise children and build a happy family. Even without flowers or gifts, the woman is still happy because the greatest thing she receives is the love and sense of responsibility of her husband. But if she gives everything but neglects her wife and children, or even has an inappropriate attitude or actions, flowers or gifts are meaningless.

"Fresh flowers will wither after a day, gifts will be gone after many uses, only sincerity remains," said Ms. Minh.

Hai Hien - Quynh Nguyen

Source: https://vnexpress.net/nhung-nguoi-tho-o-voi-8-3-4718843.html